AITAH for laughing at my ex when he asked me to forgive his back child support?

A woman divorced her ex-husband in 1987, who never paid the $50/month child support for their infant daughter, nor had any contact after 1993. Decades later, in 2021, he asked her to forgive $65,000+ in unpaid child support so he could avoid a lien on his property.

When she refused and laughed at his request, he claimed he would pay directly but had a history of avoiding payments. read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for laughing at my ex when he asked me to forgive his back child support?’

My ex (M62, now) and I (F64, now) got divorced with one infant child in 1987. His support until 1992 was $50/month. He never paid this. He never worked for a pay check, only for cash. In 1992 I went to increase his support to be what he would pay if he earned federal minimum wage. He never paid.

Never saw my daughter after she turned 7 in 1993, no cards, calls, nothing. Which is good and left our family to be a family! Fast forward to 2004, my daughter is now 18 yo. I start to receive small child support deposits of $64/week. I am shocked and dismayed but happy.

A few weeks later I get a call from my ex, Shannon, saying “isn’t she 18 now? Tell them to stop taking the support.”. I laughed and said no, you will always owe the back amount, plus interest. I can’t stop it. So he quits working. Then no word from him for years. Comes to 2021 I get a call from Shannon.

Surprised by this I ask why the hell he wants. He wants me to fill out a form to FORGIVE his past support of $65,000+. He SWORE that he would then pay me directly $300/mo until the balance is paid, 217 months. Now remember he’s been under a court order to pay me child support since Sept 1987 and has paid nothing.

When it was taken from his pay, rather than work, he chose to quit his job. I found out through some online research that this was about the time that the AG of TX, where Shannon lived with his wife, had filed a lien against Shannon for the back child support amount. I had no clue this was done!

So Shannon’s wife doesn’t want him to be on their single wide deed because of the lien, so she divorces him. This is why he wants me to forgive his child support, he was losing his sugar momma!! He’s called three times since then and just when I stop laughing I get another call from him.

Am I the a**hole for laughing at him, in his old age, for not letting him off the hook for this $65,000+ in back child support that I KNOW I will never see a dime of?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

CozyCupcake25 −  No, he seems to need to pay up, and having a nice chuckle is merely a bonus.

DinoAnkylosaurus −  I hate deadbeat dads who work to game the system. I once worked in the office for a company with a high turnover, and realized some guys knew the system so well, and how long it took to get a new support order to the employer, and they’d quit a week before it would take effect.

A month later they’d get rehired and it was rinse and repeat over and over. So I started entering orders for people who’d been terminated but had been hired at least twice, and set up an alert of anyone with an order was re-hired.

And I’d get on the phone with the CS office for that state (barring a couple that were a PITA) and let them know he’d been re-hired and could they fax in a current order? Sometime I’d have active orders two or three days after they were hired. Surprise, buddy!

svkatt −  NTA My ex complained that after the wage garnishment (I had been supporting my daughter by myself for 10 years by then), that he didn’t even have enough money to buy cologne… I’m like, I guess you’re just going to have to stink then!!!

I got a few of his tax returns once he decided to get a real job. You keep on laughing every time he calls. I’ll be laughing with you 😂

darkenough812 −  NTA! This is hilarious and that’s what he gets for being a deadbeat l**er. Karma!!

busdrivermike −  As a guy who paid child support for 15 years, starting at $750, ending at $1950 per month in 2015, no f**king way you should let him off. If you ain’t going to do it for you, do it for the rest of us who paid. Because I guarantee that douchebag will rub it in if you sign those papers, telling dudes they don’t have to pay either.

grayblue_grrl −  NTA.. My ex did pretty much the same. He ended up getting injured at work and was able to collect disability. Our youngest was 18 and had just joined the military. The government had his child support coming off of that disability and I collected for a number of years.

It paid for daycare for our granddaughter. Since he had lied to everyone that he paid his child support all along, they wondered why I could get it after the youngest was 18. He told them I was just greedy.. You aren’t laughing alone.

speakeasy12345 −  NTA. Plus the kicker is since he wasn’t working or was being paid under the table, he has likely screwed himself out of a significant amount of SSI when he wants to official apply for retirement benefits, since the amount he contributed will be minimal.

Too bad for him. It is ultimately going to cost him much more than just paying his child support would have. Sad for him to spend his last years poor and alone, all for $50 / month.

ChibiSailorMercury −  Anyway, it’s not up to you to give up child support. It’s your child’s right, not yours. So you can laugh all the way to the bank (and make no deposit once you reach your destination).. NTA

OlieCalpero −  NTA, I bet if/when he applies for his social security they will garnish it and send it to you until his debt is paid… it sounds like Shannon will be paying towards this until his d**th…

Bulky_Specialist9645 −  Deadbeat dads deserve everything they get. F**k him….. NTA

The ex’s long history of neglect and financial avoidance makes the woman’s laughter seem like a natural reaction to an outrageous request. Is she justified in holding her ground, or should she forgive for peace of mind? What do you think? share your thoughts below!