AITAH for kicking out my dad after he said he “couldn’t afford to feed me anymore”?

A Redditor shares a tense family situation that escalated when his father, who had recently moved in after losing his home, failed to respect the boundaries set for living together. Despite initial agreements regarding rent and household rules, the father’s drinking, smoking, and messy habits became unbearable.

The final straw came when the father admitted he couldn’t afford groceries because he spent his money on cigarettes and drinks, leading the Redditor to kick him out.

‘ AITAH for kicking out my dad after he said he “couldn’t afford to feed me anymore”?’

Here’s the backstory. 28M, got my own house now. Moved out at 18, not really by choice—my dad basically pushed me out. Our relationship’s been rocky since then. He’s always been a huge drinker and smoker, which caused plenty of issues back then.

Fast forward, he lost his house a couple of months ago, didn’t keep up with loan payments. So he calls me up, says he needs a place to stay while he gets back on his feet.

I laid out a few ground rules: either pay rent ($400) or cover groceries (about $250-300), and absolutely no smoking in the house. He laughs, says “I’m your father; I shouldn’t have to pay.” But I don’t budge, so he reluctantly agrees to buy groceries.

From the moment he moves in, it’s just one problem after another. Leaves a mess everywhere, doesn’t clean up, smokes inside even though I made it clear that’s a no-go, and drinks like there’s no tomorrow. Then, one day, I have a girl over—and he just has this meltdown over it. So I tell him, listen, if he can’t respect my space, he’ll have to find somewhere else to stay.

Things settle for a bit, but last week, he hits me with “I don’t have the money to buy groceries this month.” I’m like, why? He says, “Well, you eat a lot,” and admits he spent all his cash on smokes and drinks.

That was it for me. I was done with him acting like he owned the place, done with the flashbacks to dealing with him as a teen. I told him to pack up and leave. So… AITAH? I set clear boundaries, he didn’t follow through.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

DetroitSmash-8701 −  NTA. Your house, your rules. When the bills come in his name, then he can run his house the way he wants.

geeeorgieee −  NTA. His ‘I shouldn’t have to pay’ showed his respect for you before he even moved in. Give him a months notice maybe, but that is as far as your charity should go.

Z4-Driver −  NTA. Kick him out. Apparently, losing his own house wasn’t consequence enough for him to realise that he needs to change some things in his life. So, as he disrespected your reasonable rules, he needs to feel the consequences by losing the place he could stay again.

And in case he gets family and friends involved, what inevitably will happen, you can tell everybody who says you should let him stay, that they are welcome to open their home for your dad and offer him to stay with them.

Open_Equal_1515 −  NTA here , my friend. i mean , you gave him a chance to hit reset and he treated it like a free-for-all at club dad. the man really pulled the “can’t afford to feed you” card in your own house—while living rent-free , spending on smokes and drinks ? unreal.

boundaries were laid out in high-def , and he chose to ignore them , so really , he kicked himself out. at this rate , he can “afford” some fresh air while he rethinks his life choices !!

CorduroyMcTweed −  NTA. I’m guessing at some point he’s used the phrase “my house, my rules”, and that’s a sword that cuts both ways.

Unwanted88 −  Get an eviction notice rolling and do not expect respect. From the first time you spoke to him about your rules he started to try and bargain/ guilt trip you because : FFFFAAAAmmmiLllllLlYyyyyyy~ you deserve better than that. Please stick to kicking him out. He is not your child he is your sperm donor he can figure it out.

briomio −  I wouldn’t want a smoker/drinker living in my house. Eventually he’s going to pass out with a lit cigarette and set the house on fire.

MNConcerto −  NTA, he’s an a**oholic moocher.
The smoking in the house is big NO in my book. My house and cars since day one have always been smoke free. My husband grew up with chain smoking relatives even they didn’t smoke in our house.

queeniethorn −  NTA. You set reasonable boundaries, and your dad failed to respect them. It’s important to look out for yourself, especially in light of your past experiences.

VelveteBerry −  NTA, dude. I’ve been in a similar spot with family ignoring boundaries. It’s tough, but you set clear rules and he disrespected them. You did the right thing by looking out for yourself and your space. He needs to learn consequences.