AITAH for kicking out my conservative family during Thanksgiving before anyone ate?

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A Redditor (34F) recounts her frustration when a Thanksgiving gathering she hosted turned into a heated political debate. After repeated efforts to redirect the conversation failed, she snapped and asked her family to leave, ending the celebration before the meal was even served. Now, with her mom accusing her of overreacting, she’s questioning whether her actions were justified. Read the full story below for all the details.

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‘ AITAH for kicking out my conservative family during Thanksgiving before anyone ate?’

So I (34F) decided to host Thanksgiving this year for my family. It was my first time hosting, and I was really excited about it. I spent days prepping everything—turkey, stuffing, sides, pies, you name it. Honestly, I was pretty proud of myself because I wanted to make it special. My family is mostly conservative, and I’m more liberal, so there’s always been some tension, but I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal for just one day.

When everyone started showing up, things were fine for about 15 minutes. Then my uncle made this comment about how “woke people” probably think Thanksgiving is offensive or something dumb like that. I rolled my eyes but didn’t say anything.

Then my cousin chimed in with a snarky comment back at him, and suddenly it turned into this big thing about politics. I tried a couple times to change the subject, like bringing up the food or asking about family stuff, but no one really listened.

It was just so frustrating. My uncle and cousin started arguing louder, and I felt like the whole mood was ruined. My uncle even made a joke about how I probably hate Thanksgiving too because of my “liberal ideas” or whatever. I wasn’t even involved in the conversation, but I could feel the digs were aimed at me.

I finally snapped and told them to stop talking about politics or they could leave. My uncle laughed and said something like, “Oh, the Thanksgiving police are here.” A couple people chuckled, and I just lost it. I told everyone that if they couldn’t respect me in my house, they needed to leave.

Some people tried to calm me down, but I was so mad at this point I just wanted them all gone. So I grabbed people’s coats and started handing them out. Even the family members who weren’t involved had to leave because I didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness of some staying behind. I thought maybe I’d feel better once they left, but now I just feel kind of empty sitting here with a fridge full of food I spent all week making.

My mom called me later and said I completely overreacted and ruined the holiday for everyone. She said I should’ve just ignored the comments instead of making it a bigger deal. Honestly, I didn’t think I did anything wrong at the time, but now I’m wondering if I went too far. So, AITAH for kicking everyone out before we even got to eat?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

armchairsw −  Correct response: “Well uncle I don’t know about being offended by thanksgiving since I’m hosting it, but maybe you should go home since eating the food I made for free is technically socialism.”
Edit: The semantics police have come for my joke so I guess replace the word socialism with handout if it makes you feel better. Thanks for the awards and lovin the comments y’all, happy thanksgiving stay safe out there.

Grandmapatty64 −  They FAFO and went home hungry. I bet your uncle wouldn’t allow anyone to disrespect him in his home. Your mother has a lot of nerve blaming you when your uncle and cousin started the whole thing.

itchierbumworms −  The most spectacular way to never have to host Thanksgiving again.

amyloulie −  NTA. You gave them a chance to listen to you and they showed they didn’t care to show you that respect. The others were compliant in that they didn’t try to help change the subject too, or tell cousin and uncle to shut it.

ftjlster −  NTA, your uncle decided to insult the host at an event he was invited to WHILE ATTENDING THE EVENT. Not sure what culture he’s from, but that’s a sure fire way to get disinvited and kicked out. Not to mention no matter how old he is, it’s incredibly rude.

Anyway OP, with regards to the food you’ve cooked either you can send it over to your mother for distribution or you can reach out to a local shelter to see if they’re able to take food donations like this. Failing all else, deep freeze everything. And next year, just have a Friendsgiving or a more exclusive family gathering (i.e. don’t invite your uncle and other rude family members, and be explicit about why you aren’t inviting them).

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA. They all found out that actions have consequences.. I have simple rules in my house. I do not raise my voice to anyone visiting in my home but if you raise your voice to me, out you go. I do not curse at anybody in my home and if you do to me, out you go. If you cannot have peace in your own home, where can you have it.

Liladybug2 −  INFO: were there people you kicked out who were respecting your rule? I am all for the trouble makers being gone, but if someone did nothing wrong, I don’t think it’s fair to pull the than rug out from under them with no way for them to salvage the holiday for themselves.

Texas_sucks15 −  NTA. You tried, they were the immature ones who disrespected you in your own home. Now mom is trying to guilt trip. S**ew them all.

reverievt −  ESH. You should have kicked out the perpetrators, not the innocent.

spiritoftg −  NTA. Your uncle is an ass, your mom too. As for the food, maybe soup kitchens need it more thant your stupid family.

Do you think the Redditor’s actions were an overreaction to her family’s behavior, or was she justified in setting boundaries in her home? How do you handle family conflict during the holidays? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!

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