AITAH for kicking my parent out and saying “this is why I was so fucked up as a kid”?
A Reddit user recently shared a heated encounter with their parents after a family dinner took a harsh turn. When the user’s young daughter proudly performed a song she had been practicing, the grandparents responded with cruel laughter and belittling remarks.
The user, who has a history of enduring similar behavior, reacted strongly by kicking the parents out and confronting them about their hurtful treatment. Now, with other family members taking sides, the user wonders if they went too far in defending their daughter.
‘ AITAH for kicking my parent out and saying “this is why I was so fucked up as a kid”?’
I had my parents over for dinner this weekend (60s) and after my daughter (10) asked if she could play us a song she had been practicing on her keyboard (she gets lessons). It wasn’t perfect, few missed notes, a couple pauses, but she did really well.
She looked up at the end, massive smile, and I started clapping and my parents started f**king laughing. Not just a little chuckle. A massive f**king belly laugh. Them both. My mom asked if it was her first time playing it and my dad said it had to have been. A dog could have played that better.
It was like my daughter was shrinking on the spot and she looked down and said “no, I’ve had 2 lessons but doing it with 2 hands is hard ” and they just laughed even f**king harder. I just stood up, took their cups and said leave. Now.
My mom tried to say about how they hadn’t finished their drinks, they wanted to hear another song etc and said “get your stuff and get the f**k out of my house right now”. My dad started doing this huffing thing he does when someone dares to speak up to him and my mom said that ” there was no need to be like this.
That I can’t protect her all the time and she preparing my daughter for the real world. I said “it’s not teaching the real world, they’re just n**ty little bullies picking on children and s**t like this is why I was so fucked up as kid. Now leave”
They got their stuff and left. I sat with my daughter and explained how proud of her I was and how well she was doing. To ignore them. They were just being cruel because they don’t know any other way to be and asked if she could please play it again, which she did.
On the Sunday I messaged and said that until they can behave like decent human beings that we’re taking a break away from them.
My dad replied that it was my choice but he didn’t realise he raised me to be so precious
Now my lovely brown nosing golden child of a sister is getting involved. She phoned me today with my parents version of events telling me a I was a “n**ty piece of work” and should never speak to my parents that way. That I’m wrapping my child in cotton wool and blah blah blah. I just told her to go f**k herself and hung up.
I’m not asking if I’m in the wrong for standing up for my daughter. I’ll always do that. But I did go pretty 0-100. I kicked them out straight away. I swore at them and in front of my daughter. I did raise my voice at the end when i said leave.
I was and still am angry. I don’t think I’d even accept an apology from them at this point. This behaviour isn’t new, it’s decades old. But this is the first time it effected my daughter. Did I go to far? React too much? Should I have tried to be calmer? Talk it out? I dunno. AITAH?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
NeeliSilverleaf − NTA. Your daughter is never going to forget you standing up for her.
Accomplished-Emu-591 − NTA. You are correct, they are “just n**ty little bullies picking on children.” What normal human would belittle a child’s attempt to perform for them? I know three people who never need to darken your door again.
Think_Limit_8724 − NTA who laughs in a 10 year olds face when they are just starting to learn a new skill? Their actions were out of line and uncalled for. Protect your daughter. Keep those horrible people far away from her.
2PlasticLobsters − NTA, you’re a goddam hero. If your parents think that’s an acceptable way to talk to a child, they had it coming.
Bullies always whine when the tables are turned. At most, you might want to talk to your daughter about how they’ve always been like this & a confrontation was bound to happen.
She may blame herself, or wonder if you’ll yell at her like that someday. Knowing there’s a history would help her understand. At 10, she’ll have encountered bullies already, but may not know they don’t change when they grow up.
Barthandelus_ − “I didn’t realize i raised you to be so precious.” “Did you raise me to ask what you’re gonna do about it, pussy?”
CaliforniaJade − I’m so sorry you were raised by those people yet have not normalized their behavior. NTA
WidowedWTF − PROUUUUUD. OF. YOUUUUUU. My parents have made me the b**t of jokes for more than 50 years. The only one who ever stood up for me was my late husband and it made me feel so safe with him.
Protect your baby girl. She’s only this age once. Seeing you stand for her counteracts the BS b**lying and lets her know she’s not alone. Stellar parenting.
QueasyGoo − I saw something recently on FB that stuck with me. It said “Y’all refuse to be a safe haven for your children on some “the real world won’t coddle them” b**lshit. Of course it won’t, that’s why they need to learn what love looks like so they can recognize when they’re being treated badly. Don’t normalized pain and disappointment.”
I had to sit with that for minute. Thank you for being a safe haven for your child and showing them what love and acceptance looks like. 💜 We can’t have a better world using the same shame, ridicule, and violence of the previous generations. Much love to you and your daughter.. Edit, typo
Sea-Ad9057 − Pianos and keyboards are difficult to learn especially when you have to play with 2 hand at the beginning good on you
MattDaveys − This behaviour isn’t new, it’s decades old. But this is the first time it effected my daughter. Which means they won’t change, don’t let them come crawling back. NTA
Do you think the user’s reaction was justified in protecting their daughter from harmful comments, or did they take things too far by kicking the grandparents out? How would you handle family members who don’t show respect or encouragement to your child? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
