AITAH for kicking my family out after they made my son cry for being gay?

A Reddit user recounts a painful incident involving his family and his 15-year-old son, who is gay. While the user and his wife have always supported their son, they were shocked to discover that the user’s parents had been pressuring him to date girls and expressing disapproval of his sexuality.

After confronting them about their hurtful comments, the user ultimately decided to ask his family to leave, leading to a heated argument and accusations of being a jerk. Read the original story below to see how this father navigates the difficult balance between family loyalty and protecting his son.

‘ AITAH for kicking my family out after they made my son cry for being gay?’

My (37m) 15 year old son is gay. My wife and I are fully supportive of him. I thought my family was too but now I doubt that. They have been staying at my house for a few days since it’s been a little while since we’ve seen each other in person. Everything was going great until yesterday.

I was out running errands, when my son called me crying and asked me to come home. I asked what was wrong and he said he would tell me when I got home. I rushed home and my son was in his room crying. I was worried and asked him what was wrong.

He told me that while I was gone my parents kept telling him that he needs to find a girl to date, and how it’s wrong for him to be attracted to boys. That really pissed me off. Not only did they basically tell my son to not be gay, but they did it behind my back. I confronted my family about it and they admitted it.

They said they just want what’s best for my son, and how he can find someone like my wife. I really didn’t appreciate that comment and we argued over it and I ended up asking them to leave. They stormed out and now keep calling me and calling me a j**k. I’m conflicted. I really think I was in the right as I was defending my son, but their reactions are making me worry that I overreacted. Am I the a**hole?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Pandas-are-the-worst −  Nta. You stood up for your son, you showed him how to be a good parent and one day if he chooses to be a father, he will remember this example.

Janine_18 −  NTA. Absolutely. And the fact that you and your wife are protecting your son, and not trying to remake him so that he dates girls is wonderful! AH here is your family that did this.

painttheworldred36 −  Their reaction is because they don’t like being called out as the bigots that they are. Bigots hate being called out for their bigotry. You are being a GREAT parent and you should NEVER doubt that! You rock! Keep accepting your son and standing up for him. Don’t doubt yourself. You are doing awesome! NTA!!!!!!!!

imothro −  NTA. Your parents intentionally waited until you were out of the house so they could b**ly your child without you knowing about it. It was a pure power play and they intentionally boundary stomped. You should consider no contact. They are not safe people. They are bigots. And not only that, bigots who refuse to respect your parenting.

Intrepid_Potential60 −  Don’t be conflicted. You did the right thing, on multiple fronts. You protected your son, first and WAY foremost. He’s young, he’s vulnerable, and he shouldn’t be faced with bigotry from his own family any time, let alone where he is in life. Good for you, and that needed to be done!

Smaller, way smaller scale but still important – And you protected yourself. Your decisions as parents may be right, like this one to support your son, and may sometimes be wrong other times, too. But you are his parent. You make those decisions. They undermined everything you’d built and how you built it, and that isn’t acceptable.

They can have a conversation with you. They do not undermine how and what you do to help them become adults directly with your children. Your family was offensive in about every way they could be, in short. You were not.. NTA

likeahike −  NTA, you protected your son, like a good parent does. If they can’t be supportive, your parents have no place in his life.

Chronojinn −  NTA. Blood doesn’t mean s**t. You make a family of who you choose. Sounds like you chose.

CandThonestpartners −  Your parents, your son’s grandparents went behind yours and your wife’s back. Told your son basically to stop being himself, no you did what you needed to do by protecting your son.

He’s never going to forget what your parents said to him, also he’s never going to forget that you his dad and mum stood up for him and protected him. Personally I’d be going NC with them. What they did is an absolute disgrace.. NTA

GothDerp −  NTA. Thank you for protecting your child. I am a parent of two LGBTQ children, I am a soft spoken person but mess with my child? You are dead meat. Again, thank you. Your child will not only remember but respect the time you vanquished the homophones.

SummerOracle −  NTA. Let’s get some things straight here: your parents do NOT want what’s best for your son, nor do they genuinely care about his wellbeing. Your parents are massively in the wrong here, you need to recognize that. What they did was out of line, inappropriate, ignorant, and hateful. There was no love in their behavior.

Your parents are h**ophobic, and have shown you they wish to harm your son to get what they want. The fact they did it behind your back demonstrates they knew what they were doing was not ok. Now they are manipulating you into thinking that you protecting your child is wrong.

You absolutely did the right thing, you are being a good father, and you need to continue protecting your son from your parent’s sick mentality. LGBTQ+ kids are at serious risk of self-harm, severe emotional trauma, and even suicide, due to behaviors like your parent’s.

Do you think the user was justified in kicking his family out to protect his son, or did he overreact in the heat of the moment? How would you handle a situation where family beliefs clash with your values and your child’s well-being? Share your thoughts below!