AITAH For Getting Rid of My Old Things when I Replace them with New Things Instead of Giving Them To Family “That Might Need It or Want It”?

A Redditor shared a story about getting rid of their old belongings after a divorce to create a fresh, personal space. When their sister and family found out, they were upset that the Redditor didn’t offer the old items to them first. The Redditor feels they shouldn’t have to give their things away and simply wanted to declutter. Read the full story below to understand the full context.

‘ AITAH For Getting Rid of My Old Things when I Replace them with New Things Instead of Giving Them To Family “That Might Need It or Want It”?’

After I healed from my divorce, I decided to re furnish my home to make it 100% my space. In the process of doing that, I cleaned out my wardrobe, linens, and even my cookware of items I just didn’t want anymore. Right before my new furniture and items arrived, I called a junk removal service to remove the old items to make room. They’re quick, and the items are gone and out of my hair for good without me having to do any heavy lifting.

My sister came over, saw everything was different, and asks me what I did with all of my old stuff. So I told her. She immediately gets on my case about not offering any of my old items to her. I rolled my eyes and asked her if she needed a new sofa would she still sit on her busted one if I wasn’t getting rid of mine? Fast forward to the end of that day. My other siblings and my mom called and text me to berate me for the same thing.

I didn’t owe them a chance at my old things, did I? I don’t even thing they needed any of it. They just like the idea of getting free stuff. They also like to hoard, which I do NOT.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

verminiusrex −  NTA. It’s your stuff. You can dispose of it however you want, and more important you are not obligated to go through with the incredibly annoying effort of offering it up to people then waiting for them to actually collect it. I’ve played that game before and learned to set time limits for pickup before it goes on the craigslist free page, to the curb, or to the d**p.

XxInk_BloodxX −  NAH. It’s pretty normal to give away stuff like that, and is seen as wasteful with the current views on over-consumption and trash only adding to that. But there’s also the reality that it’s not always possible to do those things without a massive headache or ending up with junk in your house for years while you try to get rid of it the “right way”.

It’s understandable that your family is upset that you didn’t even try to pass along your perfectly good stuff before trashing it, but it’s also understandable that you just wanted it over and done with in one swoop. Maybe just apologize for not having considered it.

My biggest suggestion is maybe in the future you could check if any charity shops do pickup near you (not everywhere, but not uncommon) before going to full junk removal, with the added bonus of telling your family it went to charity if they complain.

bannana −  YTA for throwing away what sounds like perfectly good stuff you just didn’t want anymore when it could have been donated, this is grossly wasteful.

Recent_Body_5784 −  I mean, throwing all your stuff away without donating it to anyone? There’s no question that YTA. It’s wasteful, it’s inconsiderate to people in need. You don’t know the value of things until you have nothing. You sound like someone who had a comfortable life and therefore you just don’t care that it could be helping someone else because it’s inconvenient to you. Is it legal? Sure. Is it moral? No. You’re definitely th AH.

Automatic-Algae4004 −  YTA unless they have significant hoarding issues, unless you don’t like them, or unless you never want to see the marital items again. But if you have even a remotely normal relationship with your family, I can’t imagine not informing them (and/or your friends) that there is a whole bunch of decent free stuff for the taking, before the junk man hauls it away. 

Impossible-Most-366 −  YTA, you don’t just throw away good stuff without offering it to someone first.

HoldFastO2 −  Kinda YTA, yeah. No, you don’t “owe” them a chance at your old stuff, but it would have been considerate to ask. Are you not ever considerate towards your own family? Would it have killed you to throw out a text into a family group chat “hey, removal company coming in three days, come pick up anything you want by then”?

EchoMountain158 −  Soft YTA just because it’s bad form and wasteful. At the very least you should donate. Others definitely need it even if you don’t. If you don’t wish to see them at a relatives then give them to strangers.

issy_haatin −    if she needed a new sofa would she still sit on her busted one if I wasn’t getting rid of mine? Gonna have to call YTA on that remark. “Why don’t you just buy a new one if your old one is broken?” Is not a possibility for everyone. Great that you’ve got the means to throw out proper functional stuff as trash, but not everyone has the same means.

musclesotoole −  YTA. Yes you could have checked with your sister.