AITAH for getting myself a hotel room after my bf snatched his phone out of my hands when I wanted to take a photo of us with our friends?
After attending a festival and staying at a friend’s house, a woman grabbed her boyfriend’s phone to take a photo with friends since hers was buried in her bag. Her boyfriend, who has always been protective of his phone, immediately snatched it from her hands, leaving her feeling embarrassed.
Upset, she booked a hotel room for the night. Now, her boyfriend is accusing her of being paranoid, and she’s questioning whether she was wrong for reacting the way she did. read the original story below…
‘ AITAH for getting myself a hotel room after my bf snatched his phone out of my hands when I wanted to take a photo of us with our friends?’
My bf(M34) and I(F30) were at a festival this weekend and have been staying at his friend’s house since we’re out of town. We’ve been dating for 6 years and he’s always had a weird thing about his phone. We finally decided to make a big move in our relationship this year and I moved in with him and relocated since he lived in a different town.
This is a big deal since we don’t take moves like this in our relationship lightly. However, he’s still very weird about his phone – if mine isn’t handy and I need to look up something on google maps or on the internet, he’ll be right over my shoulder and/or will cut my time on his phone short.
Last night, my phone was at the very bottom of my bag and we all wanted to take a photo together. So I grabbed his phone for a quick photo and he ripped it out of my hands so fast it was so embarrassing. I was so upset I left and got myself a hotel for the night.
He’s now g**lighting me telling me that IM the paranoid one, but I’m standing my grounds telling him his actions aren’t normal unless he’s hiding something from me.
I’m not really sure how to feel and I’m stuck in a car with him for 4 more days on our way back home.. AITAH?.
Check out how the community responded:
Ash-b13 − From experience, people are only like this about their phones with their partner if they have things to hide. I would trust your gut!
offbrandbarbie − NTA. He could have just asked for it back. Have you ever asked him what his deal with the phone is??
eightydegreespls − NTA. I saw one of your replies where he said he had anxiety about weird things like old nudes. Whose old nudes? His? Why would you keep your old nudes on your phone? Maybe someone else’s old nudes? Okay, we all have a past.
But if you’ve been dating for 6 years, why would he have someone else’s old nudes for that long or why would they pop up on his phone all of a sudden? I don’t know, sounds like he’s just making up things as he goes along to placate you. Just make sure you’re not being taken advantage of.
sbucks2121 − NTA – the relationship isn’t new, and you didn’t snoop. He is hiding something. Honestly, if it was my relationship, I wouldn’t let it rest until he started being 100% transparent. I don’t snoop on my husbands phone and give him privacy. But he also doesn’t freak out about me touching his phone.
I know all of his passwords and still let him have his privacy. If your BF doesn’t feel comfortable after 6 years, I would have to decide if it’s a dealbreaker. Can you see yourself married to him and still having him freak out about using his phone? What if an emergency happened and you needed to use his phone? It sounds as though there is a serious trust issue.
Celyn_07 − I have phone anxiety stemming from being a teenager and my mother reading all my texts and looking at all my pictures and snatching my phone out of my hand, as well as my ex cheating and projecting his behavior onto me and snatching my phone out of my hand.
For the first year of my current relationship, I would take my phone with me wherever I went, leave it face-down on my couch or wherever, and be super weird about it in general. It’s taken me another year or so to realize my partner doesn’t want to invade my privacy, he just wants to listen to my Apple Music. Lol
Affectionate-Plan187 − He’s hiding something. Anyone who is THAT ‘anxious’ about their spouse using their device is hiding something OR they’re not emotionally mature yet. Either way, it doesn’t sound like he’s gonna change anytime soon
OnlyRAOBJ − You know, it’s only happened to me one time. Someone texted my gf while it was plugged in on the table next to me. I picked it up to hand to her, and she snatched it like that. Guess what? She was cheating.
[Reddit User] − He is afraid you’ll see nudes. He is trying to establish, in YOUR mind, that when nudes pop up on his phone, they are “old.” Nope—he is buying or soliciting them and just trying to legitimize it.
If you cannot trust one another with phones, something is off—you are living together. I didn’t have a great marriage, but my ex could use my phone at any time.
He’s cheating on some way or another.
quixoticquiltmaker − I’m gonna try to be the voice of reason and may get down voted to hell but me (m) and my ex (f) had this same problem in my last relationship and it wasn’t due to any shadiness or cheating on my part…
Years ago at a family Christmas party my uncle grabbed my phone to take a pic of us and to my horror a pornhub clip started playing on my phone for my whole family to hear.
Anytime after that when someone grabs my phone, whether they are a romantic partner, friend, or family, I am immediately overcome with anxiety and its very difficult for me to not snatch it back like OPs bf did in this situation.
whysmiherr − He is hiding something.
Was her reaction justified, or was it an overstep? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!
