AITAH for exposing my parents when they forgot about me on their wedding? (Update 3)

A Reddit user shared an emotional journey of self-discovery and healing after being neglected by their parents, even to the point of being forgotten on their wedding day.

Despite an attempted reconciliation, the user chose to stand their ground, focusing instead on building a supportive community with friends, a beloved grandmother, and newfound independence. Read on to hear their inspiring story of resilience below.

For those who haven’t read the original article : 

Original post : https://aita.pics/yrKlf

Update 1 : https://aita.pics/neOVy

Update 2 : https://aita.pics/IAIjU

‘ AITAH for exposing my parents when they forgot about me on their wedding? (Update 3)?’

Hello everybody! It’s been a while and I’m sorry I didn’t respond to messages or update sooner but I’ve been very busy and I’m also trying to grow away from all that’s happened to me but I’m back with an update on how things are going if anyone is interested to hear.

To do a recap where I left I moved to my friend’s house after my grandma visited me and we were able to stand up against my neglectful parents.

My grandma and uncle left just a couple of days after I published my last update and it was a very emotional moment for us both, for the first time in my life I felt protected and loved with someone of my family.

I’m sure throughout my life there must’ve been moments were I didn’t feel so down and alone but that week I spent with grandma I truly felt like someone was in my corner unconditionally and I’ll be forever grateful to her for being there for me.

After she left back to her home-town I got settled in my friend’s parents home while we looked for an apartment. She was already working as a private tutor for young kids and she helped me get the same job as her so now we are also co-workers 🙂

The job is great and the salary is quite nice for a first job so I was over the moon to be hired. We also found an apartment. Is near campus, has two bedrooms and a nice living area and kitchen.

It’s not big but it’s clean and in a neighborhood that is primarily college students living in it so it’s quite nice and there’s plenty of cool spaces to hang and meet people. We’re actually just in the process of moving right now and I’m writing this update from my new bedroom.

I celebrated my 18th birthday a couple of weeks ago and it was great, I went to a restaurant with a few friends and had a nice time. The only “drama” there’s been so far with my parents since the whole debacle is that they showed up in my friend’s home the day of my birthday asking to see me.

I wasn’t there at the time but my friend’s dad was and he told me that they were both very apologetic and asked him to get me in contact with them. They left a letter with him in which they basically acknowledge that they have been awful parents but they want to rectify their mistakes and begged me to talk to them.

Maybe I’m cold for doing what I did next but I decided not to answer them in any way and asked my friend’s dad to tell them to leave if they ever show up, which he respected.

A part of me wanted to go to them and try to mend our relationship but I also felt like it had taken all of this effort for me just to show them I exist and how much they’ve hurt me through my life and, if I go back now, I’ll be betraying myself and all the work I’m putting on growing and becoming an independent person.

After my birthday I had a couple of weeks before we could start moving into the new apartment so I went to visit my grandma at her house. I showed her the many pictures I took of the new apartment, told her all about my new job and the classes I’m about to start after new years, and she was so happy for me.

We had a family get together to celebrate my birthday too and my uncles and cousins came to grandma’s were we had a bit of a party. My brother also came. I’ve slowly been talking more and more with my brother.

Of all my immediate family he is the only one that has never treated me badly and, although he was neglectful towards me, and enjoyed my parents favoritism, he never treated me bad and I feel like he was also a victim of the toxic environment that was our house.

I don’t trust him fully but he has apologized very sincerely and, since he lives near me, he wants me to feel like I can rely on him if I ever need something. I do feel safer knowing that I got at least one family member in my city that is worried about me and would help me if needed be.

I asked him once how my parents were doing and he told me that, ever since I left, he himself has limited a lot contact with them and he blames them for the whole situation whereas my sister insists that I’m being s**fish and causing pain on my parents because I’m the problem (not sure how that works.)

My parents also seem to have been somewhat ostracized by many of their friends after news of what happened to me got out but according to my brother they are constantly asking for me and are now saying to anyone that might listen that they fucked up and don’t blame me for my actions, but they want to rectify their mistakes.

I don’t know if I buy this act and I feel like they know that now the best thing they can do for their reputation is to try and put the ball on my court in regards to reconciliation so that they can look like they’ve done their part. I’m now more than ever focused on my future and I don’t really want to think of them.

I go to therapy and I’m trying to grow and embrace the love of my new-found support system, my friend, her family, my grandma, my uncles and cousins, and maybe my brother.

I hope this will be my last update since I want to close this chapter of my life and if I’m ever back here it will probably mean something has happened but I wanted to share the good news with all of you because you truly saved my life in a desperate moment.

I was so down those days after the wedding I felt like curling up on my bed and try to disappear but you all helped me pull myself up and face the music and I’m now so much happier than I think I’ve ever been and I’m looking forward to all the wonderful things that are happening in my life so thanks to all of you!

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

busyshrew −  I also felt like it had taken all of this effort for me just to show them I exist and how much they’ve hurt me through my life and, **if I go back now, I’ll be betraying myself and all the work I’m putting on growing and becoming an independent person.**

I read this and almost cried with pride. OP, you are amazing, and you deserve to love yourself first. Protect your own well-being and don’t sacrifice your new-found gains on people who haven’t shown they deserve it.

May you continue to re-build a new family that loves and supports you. And congratulations on moving forward to a wonderful life.. Thank you for the update.

Actual-Offer-127 −  they are constantly asking for me and are now saying to anyone that might listen that they fucked up and don’t blame me for my actions, but they want to rectify their mistakes.

I don’t know if I buy this act and I feel like they know that now the best thing they can do for their reputation is to try and put the ball on my court in regards to reconciliation so that they can look like they’ve done their part. This is exactly what it sounds like.

They pushed you away to the point you left but then made small advances to try and reconcile but it sounds like it’s up to you to take the first steps. I wouldn’t completely close the door on them.

Take your time working through things with your therapist and when you feel comfortable maybe take some baby steps with your parents. As for your sister….I’d remain NC with her. She sounds insufferable.

PersimmonAny6391 −  This is so awesome to read after all of what happened previously. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope college is everything you dreamed of and you go through your classes with minimal fuss.

College is a great foundation that requires work, dedication and commitment. Stick it out, do your best and kick-ass. Good luck OP. Updateme as your college tenure continues.

Background-War9535 −  It sounds like they are more interested in rehabilitating themselves than mending things with you. If you ever decide to meet them again, make sure you are in position where they need you more than you need them.. Updateme!

suziequzie1 −  I’m glad you’re starting to create your own chosen family from your friends. You deserve love and respect, and I’m very happy there are people in your corner stepping up when your parents willfully. failed so miserably.

NHFNCFRE −  Just curious…how exactly does one “rectify” their years of mistreatment of you? How do you make up to a now adult all the years of ignoring them as a young person?

I’d be curious as to how they even think they could accomplish that, because any sort of “can’t you just forgive and we’ll be a family again” would be met with a very strong “hell no!”

No-External-6145 −  I’m so happy for you! I just came from TikTok looking for your case update and you posted it 18 minutes ago. Never be afraid to leave behind those who do not add to your life. You are a resilient and very strong person!! I wish you the best of luck in life. 

PPetaal_Willows −  Your decision not to engage with them after their apology reflects your strength and self-respect. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it’s important to do what feels right for you.

If you ever feel ready to reassess your relationship with them, you can do so on your terms. For now, it sounds like you’re on the right path, and I’m glad to hear about your positive updates!

Duckr74 −  You’re g’ma is amazing. All the best to your future honey and please keep us all Updateme!

damndartryghtor −  I’m a product of Childhood Emotional N**lect. I applaud you for everything you have done since your original post. I never got to have my moment where I could tell my parents that they did a s**t job. So living vicariously through you has been great. 😁

Do you think the user’s decision to set boundaries with their parents was justified, or should they consider giving them another chance? How would you handle such a difficult family dynamic? Share your thoughts below!