AITAH for explaining what a gift is to my wife?
A Reddit user shared their frustration about a misunderstanding regarding a birthday gift from their wife. For his birthday, she presented him with a puzzle that revealed a surprise trip to see his favorite football team in London.
However, after a year and a half, the user has been unable to arrange the trip due to work commitments and financial constraints. When the wife expressed disappointment over his lack of appreciation for the gift, he explained that simply giving him the idea of a trip without any planning or funds wasn’t a true gift.
This conversation led to her feeling hurt and offended, leaving the user questioning whether he was in the wrong for his explanation. Read the original story below to see how this couple navigates their differing perspectives on gifts and expectations.
‘ AITAH for explaining what a gift is to my wife?’
Last year for my birthday, my wife gave me a present. I opened it up and it was a puzzle. I was told to put it together, which I did and it had a vague London scene on it. Then I was told to flip the entire puzzle over and sound that the back of the puzzle had the word “surprise” written on it.
I didn’t really understand where this was going, but my wife then told me that she was taking me to see my favorite football team play in London. I was pretty blown away by this… So I asked when we were going. She told me she didn’t know my schedule so she hadn’t booked anything.
I asked her if she had talked to a travel agent, or if she had saved any money to do this (I’m the only one that works in our house). No, she said… I just figured you would book it.
Here we are a year and a half later, and I have been unable to take time off, and I’ve also been unable to come up with expendable income to buy tickets for both of us to travel to England and attend the match (from America) and provide childcare for our 5 kids while we watch a game
And every once in a while, she brings up the fact how disappointed she is that I have not appreciated her gift. I finally turned her and explained to her what a gift was and how her giving me permission to do something that I want to do.
But can’t afford to do with the stipulation that I arrange all of the travel and expenses was not an actual gift. Now she’s offended and “hurt“ that I don’t appreciate the gift that she has given to me.. AITAH?
See what others had to share with OP:
Ricekake33 − That’s not a gift, that’s an “idea”. NTA
Equal_Factor_6449 − This had me in stitches. Sorry, but your wife???? NTA. How about for your next birthday treat yourself to a nice dinner.
Nucf1ash − She’s given you the most precious gift of all.. …the gift of IMAGINATION!!!
RojoPrincessa − What in the world did I just read? No. NTA. This is the most unhinged thing I’ve seen in a while.
Southern-Raccoon7712 − Give her a piece of paper with word “surprise” on it and say “we are buying a new car for you! But I don’t have money and haven’t even talk to any dealers. So you figure it out. Happy whatever day it is today!”
saintandvillian − NTA. She has ”the concept” of a gift.
SummitJunkie7 − “I’m disappointed you haven’t appreciated my gift”. “I’m disappointed you haven’t given it to me yet”
ckeenan9192 − I had a friend whose boyfriend gave her a cruise. She paid for the entire thing.
Grn_Fey − Uh… in this case the thought really really does NOT count 🙄
Cautious_Chknleggs − NTA, your wife is an ahole & a lazy one at that
Do you think the user was justified in explaining his perspective on what constitutes a gift, or should he have approached the situation differently to avoid hurting his wife’s feelings? How would you handle a misunderstanding about expectations in a relationship? Share your thoughts below!
