AITAH for ending things after he refused to buy me tampons?
When a simple request becomes a relationship dealbreaker, who’s in the wrong? A Reddit user’s decision to end things with her boyfriend after he refused to buy her menstrual products has ignited a fierce conversation about empathy, gender roles, and the bare minimum in partnerships.
‘ AITAH for ending things after he refused to buy me tampons?’
Expert Opinions
The Myth of Menstrual Stigma
Sociologist Dr. Lisa Wade, author of Gender and Society, explains: “Reluctance to buy menstrual products often stems from outdated stereotypes that periods are ‘dirty’ or shameful. Partners who perpetuate this stigma fail a basic test of empathy.”
Emotional Labor in Relationships
Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, in Set Boundaries, Find Peace, writes: “OP’s boyfriend offered help but refused to act—a classic example of ‘performative support.’ True partnership requires actions, not empty words.”
Prioritization and Respect
A 2022 Journal of Social Psychology study found that couples who share practical tasks (like errands) report higher satisfaction. Refusing small favors often signals deeper disrespect.
Solutions from Experts:
- Normalize Period Talk: Discuss menstrual needs openly to dismantle stigma.
- Audit Emotional Labor: Track unequal responsibilities to address imbalances.
- Set Non-Negotiables: Decide early what behaviors are dealbreakers (e.g., dismissiveness).
Heres the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit reactions split sharply:
- NTA Votes: “He showed his priorities: his ego and a game. Bullet dodged.”
- YTA Votes: “Breaking up over tampons? Extreme.”
- Gender Double Standards: “If he can’t handle tampons, how’d he handle real crises?”
- Gamer Defense: “He was mid-game? Maybe he just needed a minute!”
- Empathy Matters: “It’s not about tampons—it’s about showing up when needed.”
This tampon turmoil reveals deeper fissures in modern relationships: the expectation of mutual care versus the reality of emotional immaturity. While some argue OP overreacted, her decision underscores a growing demand for partners who prioritize actions over words.
Final Take: Small gestures often reveal big truths. A refusal to support during vulnerability speaks volumes about compatibility.
Join the Discussion:
Was ending the relationship justified? Should buying menstrual products be a basic relationship test? Share your thoughts below!
Nope..She did exactly the right thing; He proved he was NOT someone she could depend on
The second time I (F28) met my now boyfriend (M30), we were on a weekend away with friends. We’d got on well the first two days and I woke up on Saturday having started my period, feeling rough and hungover.
I had one tampon, but that was my last. He offered to come with me, but two hours later I was still feeling awful. I thought I’d be sick if I had to walk 10 minutes to the nearest shop so he offered to go for me. Bought the exact ones I needed once I showed him on Google and refused to let me pay him back for them.
One of the things that made me fall for him more. Nearly two years together now!
my brother is too embarrassed to purchase his own toilet paper, let alone tampons!!! He steals TP from his office!!!