AITAH for doubting my dad’s new gf who claims she’s not a gold digger?

A Reddit user expressed doubts about their dad’s new girlfriend, who is 12 years younger and seems to rely on his wealth despite claiming to be independent.

During a dinner, she repeatedly mentioned that she’s not after his money but exhibited behaviors that raised red flags, like joking about making the dad pay for everything and subtly undermining the user. The user is unsure if they’re being overly judgmental or if their intuition is valid. Read the full story below and decide if their concerns are justified.

‘ AITAH for doubting my dad’s new gf who claims she’s not a gold digger?’

My dad is kinda rich. Not like billionaire rich but richer than average. Like, owning multi-million dollar plus home level rich. I’m his daughter (adult and independent). My mom passed away 9 years ago, and now he has a gf that is 12 years younger than him and has been dating over a year. I met her for the first time yesterday, and my intuition says her intention is skeptical.

At the dinner, she kept saying “People around him say that I’m going for his money, but I’m not.” “I’m an independent woman.” Yeah sure she’s working & being in a manager position at her company. But honestly, it seems like he’s paying a lot for her, judging from his personality and what happened yesterday.

At first, I didn’t think anything when he paid for the expensive dinner for us all, but then she insisted to go to this fancy bar after and when it comes to the bill she said something like “Hehe let’s make your dad pay.”…Umm okay?

After the bar, I saw that my dad was trying to secretly give her some money as the taxi fee (which is at least $200-300 bc she lives far away) when me and my brother is not looking at them.lol I’d imagine he would totally be doing that often.

And there was one more thing. At the dinner, she said that she wants to introduce a woman to my brother who doesn’t have a gf. But she turned to me and said (everybody else can’t hear), “you wouldn’t like her. You don’t seem like getting along w her, but she’s a really nice person.” like, Okay? Why do you want to introduce a person who she thinks I don’t get along, to my brother?

Loooong story short, I can’t really trust her, but if I say something about her to my dad, he would surely be defensive. Am I overreacting towards what she said/did? Am I the a**hole for doubting her intention after just a dinner?.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

samsounder −  Gut reaction…. You have a right to be skeptical, but don’t have enough information yet. Give it more time. Get to know her better before coming to a conclusion

eeyorethechaotic −  I think it’s only right that your dad paid for the drinks and her taxi home after she met his kids. I think it’s possible you’re setting yourself up to hate her, which is understandable. She may be a gold digger, but there’s certainly not enough information here to say that’s the case. She was meeting his kids. Of course he paid. Doesn’t make her a gold digger.

reditteditred −  I’m definitely not a rich person, very far from it, but if he’s got cash, having fun, and it’s not effecting you, what’s the problem? According to you she’s currently working. Any person who has a lot of money can’t focus their attention on someone “from the same background.”

A millionaire looking for a millionaire is seriously going to limit their social circle. Its like a person who’s six foot six limiting their circle for girls over six foot. Or a professional athlete saying they’ll only date other professional athletes.

Could she be a gold digger, possibly. Could she just be out of his class circle and he’s happy to treat her? Possibly. Are you just worried she’s eating into your inheritance? Possibly.

rememberimapersontoo −  YTA he’s literally paying normal bf expenses, you’re just salty because you’re thinking of it as your inheritance instead of your dad’s money

Alternative_Beyond59 −  I actually reread this several times, & each time it became clearer that yes, YTA! If your dad is happier with this woman in his life, then why are you so quick to mistrust her after one short meeting? She sounds like she was nervous meeting the “kids” who are actually adults.

So yeah, she made some silly, cringy comments. She works as a manager, & she obviously lives independently of your father, despite them being together for a year. Her salary probably doesn’t stretch to $200 cab fares & your father understands that, but obviously doesn’t care.

It’s not like she has swooped in like a massive gold digger & is trying to cut you out so she can have the big house & all the money. Her comment to you about the friend she wants to intro to your brother just shows that she picked up on your superior attitude & how quick you are to judge & dismiss people as “not-good-enough”.

draynaccarato −  But he’s paying you and your brother tabs at dinner and the bar as well?

UnluckyCountry2784 −  Your dad is paying for minor things and the fancy dinner that you talked about includes his side of the family and that’s YOU. Now if she invited her family/friends and still made your dad pay. I might question the intention but it’s still not a big thing.

miissbecca −  Your dad’s dating someone much younger than him, he sounds like a gold digger himself, just different types of gold. He gets what he gets.

Pillowprincess_222 −  Your dad is having her meet his children, he should be the one paying not her. Also he’s dating a woman much younger, if you think about it, he’s getting the joy of being with a woman who has more energy than him.

Also it’s strange that you’re downplaying her career. She’s a manager, not someone who is scraping by. Another thing is that if you have money, why not spend it? Why be stingy with money. Just be on a lookout and see other behaviors

InterestingControl49 −  I don’t see the problem

Do you think the user is right to trust their instincts and be cautious, or should they give their dad’s girlfriend the benefit of the doubt? How would you navigate a situation where you suspect someone might not have genuine intentions with a loved one? Share your opinions and advice in the comments below!