AITAH for cutting off my cousin after finding out she was the reason my ex broke up with me?

A Redditor shares a heart-wrenching story about discovering that their cousin and close friend both betrayed them during a difficult breakup. The cousin had hooked up with the Redditor’s ex before the relationship ended, while the friend withheld the truth, leaving them to grieve without closure. Read the full story below to understand the complexities of the situation.

‘ AITAH for cutting off my cousin after finding out she was the reason my ex broke up with me?’

So, here’s the deal… I (F, 25) recently found out my cousin (L, 23) hooked up with my ex (J, 27) right before he broke up with me. I was absolutely devasted when we broke up. I had no idea why it was happening. J and I had been together for 3 years. We talked about the future, marriage, kids, all of it. It felt perfect.

So when he broke up with me outta nowhere, I was completely blindsided. He told me he just wasn’t “feeling it anymore” and needed some space, but I got no real explanation. He wouldn’t tell me what I’d done wrong, or if it was even my fault. He just shut me out.

I spent the next few months crying, trying to figure out what went wrong, racking my brain, feeling like a total failure. I asked him about it several times, but every time I reached out, I just got the same vague “I don’t know what happened” responses. I mean, he was everything to me. I couldn’t believe I lost him, and I couldn’t move on, even when my friends kept telling me he probably had someone else.

Well, last week, I finally found out the truth, and I’m honestly still in shock. A mutual friend of mine and L’s told me that she and J had hooked up before he broke up with me. Apparently, they had been flirting for a while, and then one night, things just went too far. I was furious. This whole time, I’d been mourning the loss of my relationship, when the whole time, it was because my cousin was messing around with him.

I was soooo angry at both of them, but mostly at L. She knew exactly how important J was to me. She was the one I’d gone to for advice when things were tough in the relationship. She’d always been there for me, telling me I deserved someone who’d treat me right, and then she goes behind my back like this? I confronted her about it, and she didn’t deny it.

She said, “It was before he broke up with you, I didn’t think it would mess things up this much.” But it didn’t matter when it happened. It felt like a betrayal no matter how she spun it.

Honestly, the worst part wasn’t just her hooking up with him. It was that she kept it from me. She knew I was going through hell, and she said nothing. And that’s where my friend comes in. I had a friend (T, 26) who knew about this whole situation, and she never told me.

I’d talk to her about how crushed I was, about how I just needed some kind of closure, and she’d just listen and comfort me, but she never mentioned anything about L and J. I found out from someone else, and honestly, it broke me even more. To find out that she knew and just let me suffer? That’s not a friend to me.

I ended up cutting both L and T off. I know some people think I’m overreacting, but I feel like they both betrayed me in the worst ways. I don’t care if L didn’t “mean to hurt me,” she knew what she was doing, and the fact that she didn’t tell me makes it even worse.

And as for T, how could she stand by and watch me go through all that pain and say nothing? I’ve blocked both of them, and I haven’t spoken to either of them since I found out. My family’s a mess now, some of them think I’m in the right, and some think I’m being too harsh.

So, AITAH for cutting off my cousin and my friend after I found out what happened? I just feel so betrayed, and I’m wondering if maybe I overdid it… but I can’t shake the feeling that I did what I had to do for myself.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

waxedgooch −  F**k those people. The end 

angelbuunnny −  NTA. If your cousin played a role in your breakup, it’s understandable that you’d feel hurt and want to distance yourself. Protecting your emotional well-being is important, and setting boundaries with people who have caused harm is your right.

angellggirl −  Nah, you’re not the a**hole. Your cousin and friend completely crossed the line. She knew how much J meant to you, and your friend should’ve told you. That betrayal hits different, and cutting them off is honestly the only way to protect your peace. They both messed up big time.

Tiny_Independent7605 −  Honestly, I don’t blame you for cutting them off. That’s major betrayal, and you have every right to protect your peace. They both should’ve been honest with you, and the fact that they weren’t just makes it worse. Do what’s best for YOU.

Tight-Possession-204 −  I totally get why you did it. That’s a huge betrayal, and it’s not even about the timing—it’s about respect. Your cousin and your friend should’ve had your back, not kept this from you. You gotta do what’s best for you, even if it’s hard. Ain’t nobody got time for fake people.

virtuuaalkitty −  that’s straight-up betrayal. You gotta protect your peace, and they clearly disrespected you. You’re not overreacting, you did what’s best for you. No one should be letting you suffer like that. You’re better off without them!

No_Use_9124 −  NTA at all. They betrayed you. I hope you find a partner who is a better person, and friends who will tell you what’s up if necessary.

EvilWhiteDude −  Here’s a lesson I wish I’d learned much earlier than I did. It’s a cliché, but it’s one for good reason. Because it’s true. Living well is the best revenge. Definitely cut both these people out of your life completely, and do not tolerate anyone trying to convince you to do otherwise.

Now you need to focus on bettering your life in every way. Exercise routinely, develop new friendships with quality people, strengthen bonds with your family that supports you, and make yourself open to new romantic possibilities.

Here’s the tough part. In order to accomplish these things, you mustn’t dwell on the betrayal. Avoid bitterness and anger like the plague, for it will do nothing but poison your heart and wither your resolve. Do not allow yourself to feel a fool. It was not a failing of yours that you were cheated on. Go and be happy. The wickedness of your cousin and ex will be their own undoing in time.

Candid_Process1831 −  NtA! You are better off without them !

Nanabanafofana −  NTA. If he was willing to have a hook up with your own cousin, you didn’t lose much. You actually dodged a bullet. Good riddance to the three of them.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in cutting ties with their cousin and friend, or could there have been a way to mend the relationships? How would you handle such a betrayal from someone you trusted? Share your thoughts below!