AITAH for cuddling with my son in the morning when my husband gets out of bed?
Family routines can be a source of comfort—or unexpected conflict. In this story, a young mom in her early twenties shares an everyday morning ritual that suddenly became a flashpoint. While she, a self-proclaimed night owl, cherishes the extra cuddle time with her 3-year-old son in the quiet morning hours, her husband, an early riser, sees things very differently. For him, those extra moments of mom-and-son bonding have begun to feel like overindulgence, triggering unexpected resentment and sparking a heated argument.
The tension came to a head one Sunday morning when the simple greeting, “Good morning baby, coming to cuddle?” led to a sharp retort from her husband. His explosive remark—warning that she was turning their son into a “Velcro baby”—left both parents and the little one caught in the crossfire. This incident raises questions about parenting styles, expectations, and how differing views on affection and routine can lead to family strife.
‘AITAH for cuddling with my son in the morning when my husband gets out of bed?’
When it comes to early childhood development, physical affection is not only normal—it’s beneficial. According to Dr. Laura Markham, a well-known clinical psychologist and parenting expert, “Positive physical affection is crucial for young children; it helps them build secure attachments and develop emotional resilience.” [] In this case, a 3-year-old seeking extra cuddles from his mom is well within the realm of typical, developmentally healthy behavior.
Experts note that at this age, children naturally gravitate towards comfort and closeness, especially during transitions, like the arrival of a new sibling. The routine of cuddling can provide a sense of stability and reassurance in a changing family dynamic. Dr.
Markham emphasizes that “when a child experiences consistent, warm physical affection, it not only supports their emotional development but also reinforces a sense of security.” This perspective suggests that the little one’s habit of cuddling with his mom is a normal response to familial changes rather than a sign of over-dependency.
On the flip side, the husband’s reaction appears to stem from his own discomfort with the situation—perhaps a feeling of exclusion or insecurity as his role shifts with the new addition to the family. While it’s important for parents to coordinate on routines and boundaries, experts agree that abrupt outbursts rarely lead to constructive outcomes. Instead, they recommend open dialogue. Discussing feelings about the new baby, shifts in family roles, and expectations for one-on-one time can help address underlying issues before they escalate.
It’s also critical to remember that parenting styles can differ widely. One parent’s emphasis on encouraging independence might clash with another’s approach to nurturing attachment. Dr. Markham advises that “when partners have differing views on physical affection and routines, it’s important to find a balance that honors both the child’s needs and the family’s overall well-being.”
Rather than framing the child’s behavior as “weird” or problematic, this balanced approach encourages understanding that a little extra cuddling can be a healthy expression of love—provided it doesn’t interfere with family dynamics.
Ultimately, the expert consensus is that the child’s behavior is normal, and the issue lies more with how the couple manages their differing expectations. A calm, honest conversation about how both parents feel and what they envision for family routines might pave the way to compromise—without casting blame on a 3-year-old who’s just looking for a little extra comfort.
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with the mom. Many argued that at three years old, seeking cuddles is perfectly natural, and that the husband’s reaction seemed more like an overblown display of outdated notions of masculinity than a genuine concern for the child’s well-being.
Comments ranged from humorous jabs—“he’s f**king three”—to serious critiques suggesting that his outburst might be masking deeper feelings of insecurity or jealousy. A few users also highlighted that children benefit from physical affection, especially during times of change, and urged the husband to reconsider his stance and engage in a constructive conversation about his concerns.
At the heart of this story lies a clash of parenting philosophies and personal insecurities. While the mom’s decision to offer extra cuddles reflects a nurturing approach that fosters secure attachment, the husband’s reaction underscores a need for open dialogue about family roles and personal comfort.
How can couples balance their differing approaches to parenting while ensuring that the needs of their children are met? Have you experienced a similar conflict in your family routines, and what steps did you take to resolve it? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others find a harmonious balance in their own homes.