AITAH for calling out my aunt on the group chat?
Family traditions can mean everything to us, and when those traditions change without our knowledge, it can feel like a personal betrayal. In this case, the OP is heartbroken that her beloved Christmas Eve party—once a cornerstone of the extended family—is being replaced with a different celebration.
After years of proposing a group trip to Disney and dreaming of a new tradition, she was devastated to find her aunt and uncle had gone to Disney with matching shirts—and that she wasn’t even informed or invited. Expressing her sadness in the group chat, she was met with dismissive responses. The question now is: Is calling out her aunt in the group chat justified, or was it an overreaction?
‘AITAH for calling out my aunt on the group chat?’
Dr. Jenna Michaels, a family therapist, explains, “When long-held traditions are altered without open communication, it can lead to feelings of exclusion and betrayal. Expressing these emotions, especially in a group setting where others are likely to empathize, is not inherently wrong. It’s important for family members to address these changes openly to avoid future misunderstandings.”
Dr. Michaels adds that while some might view airing grievances in a group chat as confrontational, it can be an effective way to prompt dialogue if done respectfully. “The key is not the medium of expression, but the intent behind it.
If the goal is to communicate genuine hurt and to seek a better understanding rather than to shame or blame, it can be a constructive conversation starter.” This perspective supports the idea that the OP’s reaction, given her deep emotional investment in the tradition, is understandable—even if not everyone in the family agrees.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Many Redditors agree with the OP’s sentiment. They point out that when family members make significant decisions that affect everyone’s shared traditions, it’s fair to expect transparent communication. While some feel that the aunt and uncle are within their rights to change their plans, most commenters sympathize with the OP for feeling excluded and hurt. The general consensus is that calling out her aunt in the group chat was an honest expression of her feelings, not an overblown reaction.
Given the emotional weight of long-standing family traditions and the pain of feeling left out, the OP’s decision to speak up in the group chat is understandable. While her aunt and uncle may see it as a private family decision, open communication about these changes is essential for maintaining trust in extended family relationships.
Have you ever experienced a significant change in family traditions without being consulted? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss how to navigate these challenging family dynamics with empathy and transparency.