AITAH for calling my life long friend’s fiancé Cruella Deville?

A Redditor shares a heated story about defending their friend’s special needs son against mistreatment by the friend’s fiancée. After uncovering verbal abuse through a secret recording, tensions boiled over when the friend asked for help in improving the fiancée’s interactions with his son. Frustrated, the Redditor compared her to Cruella Deville, sparking further conflict. Read the original story below to see how the confrontation unfolded.

‘ AITAH for calling my life long friend’s fiancé Cruella Deville?’

My life long friend, Mike, has a 44 year old special needs son, Lane. His wife, Anna, passed away almost 3 years ago. He recently became engaged to a woman, Misty.

My wife promised Anna that she’d help look after Lane when Anna was dying. And my wife has. She takes him to doctor’s appointments and keeps him with her on days that his day program is closed. We’ve kept him many times for days or up to a week while his dad was out of town for work.

He’s special needs, but probably about like having a very well behaved 7 year old around. He’s fine to go to a restaurant or the movies or shopping. He’s polite. He’s able to bathe and dress himself.

Lane started acting out as soon as Misty was in the picture. He repeatedly told my wife that Misty talked to him ‘mean’ and told him, “There’s nothing wrong with you. You are just a lazy b**t and a burden to Mike.” My wife believed Lane because he’s never made up stories before and if he had made it was she was 100% sure he would have said ‘dad’ not ‘Mike’.

My wife talked to Mike about it but he didn’t believe Misty would do that. Misty denied it and suggested that Lane was lying because he didn’t like her taking his mom’s place. Eventually Lane’s younger brother secretly recorded Misty and Lane and first day recorded her saying exactly what Lane said she said.

Mike and Misty came to our house a couple of days after Lane’s brother recorded her. Mike asked my wife if she could spend some time with Misty and Lane and help Misty learn how to interact with Lane so she isn’t so o**rwhelmed.

I said, “You gotta be f***ing kidding me. You can’t seriously think it’s okay to leave Lane with Cruella Deville after what she’s done. It wasn’t an accident. She was verbally abusing your son. Anna is probably rolling over in her grave.” Mike thinks ITAH for calling Misty Cruella Deville, instead of understanding that she was frustrated and o**rwhelmed and needs help not judgement?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Low_Parsley_2689 −  NTA. The difference between Misty and Lane is that Misty DESERVED to be called something harsh. Frankly, she deserves worse.

Here_IGuess −  NTA. There’s a reason she never speaks that way in front of Mike. She’s a m**ipulative abuser. She’d have been speaking that way in front of him the entire time if she wasn’t trying to hide it. He’s deliberately ignoring the obvious, which means he actually doesn’t care about his son. He cares more about getting his ego stroked than his kid’s mental & emotional health.

She’s terrible, but your friend isn’t the person you think he is either. Who knows what else this person will try to do when someone isn’t around to catch her. The only limits that abusers put on themselves is what they think they can avoid responsibility for doing.

Suitable-Park184 −  NTA. It wasn’t something she said once out “frustration” (also not ok). It’s repeated, intentional and cruel treatment of his special needs son. You are not the AH. Mike and Misty are both huge AH’s.

Interesting_Wing_461 −  Instead of being mad at you, Mike should be re-thinking his relationship with Cruella.

OkPreparation6446 −  Nah, you’re not the a**hole. She *was* acting like Cruella, let’s be real. Verbal abuse isn’t “being o**rwhelmed.” Mike’s in denial, but you just said what needed to be said.

kittyyseexy −  Honestly, Misty crossed the line with what she said to Lane, and it’s super messed up. I get that Mike might be trying to defend her, but calling her out was needed. Verbal abuse is not just frustration, and you were just standing up for Lane. You’re not the a\*\*hole here.

RazzmatazzInfamous54 −  Nah, you’re not the a**hole. Calling her Cruella is honestly generous—she straight-up bullied a vulnerable person. That’s not “o**rwhelmed,” that’s cruel. If Mike can’t see that, he’s blind, because Lane deserves way better than someone who talks to him like that. Good for you for sticking up for him.

erwin76 −  Mike could be right, and called her a name could be considered rude, but I feel you and would have probably done the same. NTA. I am mostly surprised Mike wouldn’t take his son’s side as the default side.

As an aside, I assume Mike’s youngest isn’t a kid anymore, so Misty would be stupid to talk down to Lane in his presence. Is she, and if not, how did he manage to record her?. Good luck, and especially to Lane!

MRSAMinor −  Mike is betraying his poor son in the worst way, and Lane isn’t just some normal grown-up who will understand that his father is actually a weak-ass l**er like most of our parents are underneath their boomer n**cissism.

Good for you. Keep letting Mike know how much he’s f**king up. He’s just pretending he’s offended about the Cruella s**t just to avoid having to give up snacking on Misty’s crusty, putrid slizz.

He’s not really all that great of a dude if he’s willing to gaslight everyone about this horrid creature’s abuse while playing the poor, lonely widower with a heart of gold.

Puppet007 −  NTAH. Your friend is a piece of s**t and so is cruella deville.

Do you think the Redditor’s reaction was too harsh, or was it justified given the situation? How would you handle discovering a loved one being mistreated by a new family member? Share your thoughts below!