AITAH for calling my husband’s family idiots?

A Reddit user shares the frustration she feels toward her husband’s family after several insensitive comments and misguided advice, particularly regarding their autistic daughter. The tension boiled over when a family member suggested a bizarre “cure” for autism, leading the user to call her husband’s family “idiots.”

Now, her husband has become distant, avoiding sharing details of conversations with his family. The user wonders if she crossed a line by expressing her feelings so bluntly. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for calling my husband’s family idiots? ?’

My husband’s family keeps giving us advice and I thought that advice was dumb so I told him and now he’s quiet. I will try to keep this short and to the point. I (31F) told my husband (32M) that his family is dumb. We have been married for 7 years and have built a beautiful life together.

He is an amazing partner and father to our 2 girls and I love him dearly. We met in college that was 6 hours aways from our home cities so we never really met each other’s families until the wedding. Everything seemed fine they were all so nice and accepting and I got along with everyone.

There were occasional yellow flags and my husband warned me of some family members, but for 2 years everything was great. Then I got pregnant with our first daughter. (I will now list out the major flags i have clocked)

-We had been trying for a year and had a few miscarriages. His sister responded with “ugh this baby is going to be more important than me! And has already ruined our plans for the summer”

-While pregnant in 2020 height of covid i find out alone that my placenta wasnt giving her enough nutrients and oxygen so we had to induce labor so she could grow.

I was so sad and scared so i just made a general fb post to inform family and friends. His moms response “why did all these people on facebook find out about this before me?!” Didnt ask how i was or the baby just mad she wasnt the first to know

-Daughter is perfect, she is beautiful, silly, full of attitude, and happy and autistic. His mother comments on the size of her nose, and how dark she gets in the summer. (Im black and my husband is white)

Now the moment i commented on his family that i finally lost it was when his uncle told us that we just needed to feed her raw milk for 6 weeks to cure her! Im not confrontational so i told them thats not how Autism works and its not some deadly disease that needs curing.

When we were home I was fuming over another fix our daughter and why isnt she like her sister comment that I said his family were a bunch of idiots. He got real quiet and hasn’t brought it up. But now when his mom calls he doesn’t really tell me about it and sometimes leaves the room. I know some of what i was feeling was justified, but should i not have told him how i felt about some of his family members?. *

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

5ftGoliath −  I’m leaning NTA. What you said was mild based on their behavior. Does your husband not call his family out on any of this behavior?? If not, I hope you have a talk with him about it, because imo that’s a yellow flag, hell maybe even a red one.

His mother comments on the size of her nose, and how dark she gets in the summer. his uncle told us that we just needed to feed her raw milk for 6 weeks to cure her! Like these are absolutely unacceptable. I hope he doesn’t just ignore their comments.

Fit_Menu8933 −  NTA, raw milk is dangerous, especially for children. Your assessment of their intelligence is correct. Make sure your husband doesn’t get it in his head to try to sneak some to your daughter. 

Direct_Formal8961 −  NTA. His family is a whole bunch of idiots, and if he doesn’t realize that, he shouldn’t be parenting an autistic child.

Interest-Amazing −  Husband is a major red flag for not calling out this abilist, r**ist bs

ResidentMinion −  NTA, keep sticking up for your daughter. She does not need to be cured and raw milk is dangerous.

Ta11Baby −  Info – what has your husband’s response been to all of these comments by his family?

Character-Twist-1409 −  NTA you said it alone to your spouse not to them. But the r**ist comments would’ve been the straw for me. Tell your husband you didn’t mean to name call but their suggestion is idiotic because it’s harmful and dangerous. Also, why is he ok with this? They don’t seem very nice to me.

Level-Tangerine-8172 −  Where is your husband in all this? Why is he not calling out his family’s rascism and ignorance? That’s the glaring issue here.

FlanSwimming8607 −  NTA. Married for 7 years and you can’t vent to him about his family and how they make you feel?

NUredditNU −  NTA. When it comes to things like this, you just have to say it how it is. They are full, simple, ignorant, dim witted.

Was the user justified in calling her husband’s family “idiots” after repeated insensitive comments, or did she cross a line that may affect her relationship with her husband? How should difficult conversations about family be handled within a marriage? Share your thoughts!