AITAH for breaking up with my gf of 6 months two days before her birthday?

A Reddit user (m27) broke up with his girlfriend (f25) of 6 months two days before her birthday. He explains that his girlfriend repeatedly called him derogatory names, such as “idiot” and “retard,” despite him asking her to stop. After several instances of her not respecting his request, he decided to end the relationship.

The breakup occurred shortly before her birthday, and she accused him of emotional manipulation and overreacting. The user feels bad for breaking up before her birthday but believes it was necessary due to their differing views on respect and communication. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for breaking up with my gf of 6 months two days before her birthday?’

I (m27) broke up with my gf (f25) of 6 months who kept calling me an i**ot, r**ard etc. She first started doing a couple of months ago and I told her respectfully that it bothered me and that I had dealt with this in a prior relationship and do not take it lightly even if it’s meant as a joke. She said okay but gave off a reaction that she still thought I was overreacting.

After that she would ”slip up” and accidentally say it and then say something to the effect of ”oh I’m sorry you don’t like that” and try and move on as though it was nothing. I ignored it until a few weeks ago when I was fed up and still respectfully told her that if she persisted that I would ignore things that she has told me we’re important to her.

She was offended by what she called a threat and we had our first fight were we both apologised and agreed to do better. Just that evening she ”slips up” and says pea brain. I ignore it but I go to bed feeling angry and sad. The next morning she slips up again and says r**ard. I’m not a physical dude nor do I shout and yell, but I need time to myself when I’m mad so I leave her and go to the living room.

She starts weeping profusely and accuses me of emotional manipulation at which point we have our second fight and I tell her that she is at fault here. We kinda make up but I’m not feeling 100% so I tell her the next day that this is a dealbreaker for me should I happen again. She agrees and I’m thinking this is a resolved matter.

Yesterday she calls me an i**ot over nothing and I just left and took some time for myself. She sent me messages saying I was punishing her with my silence and that I was overreacting over not wanting to hear her apology and accept that this is ”hard for her” to control.

Today I broke up with her (and felt super s**tty over it due to it being her birthday in a just a few days) but her ”rant” when we spoke was so insulting and infuriating (partly being called overtly sensitive, m**ipulative for not wanting her apology.

And telling me that her patience and acceptance with my erectile dysfunction problems of late should be meet with the same patience and support for when she’s struggling not to call me an i**ot or r**ard, and that my ego is too big to accept any mistakes). I told her that evidently we have massively differing views on this and this appears to have been the best course of action in the end. So Reddit – am I am the a**hole here?.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Wrong_Moose_9763 −  Nope, d**che canoe deserved to be set free, maybe she can learn how to treat people better. I doubt she’ll get it though, NTA. Good luck to you!

ThroneofZeus −  NTA. She is being deliberately disrespectful and you need to find a new girlfriend.

babeglowup25 −  You’re not the a**hole. Setting boundaries is essential in any relationship, and it sounds like you communicated your feelings clearly. It’s unfortunate that she didn’t respect your request and continued to belittle you. Ending the relationship was a tough but necessary decision for your well-being.

RubieHavenn −  You’re not wrong for ending the relationship.. u made it clear how much the name calling bothered u but she kept doing it and dismissing ur feelings which is a form of disrespect.. relationships require mutual understanding and respect and her continued behavior showed a lack of care for ur boundaries.. .breaking up even right before her birthday was probably the best decision for ur mental and emotional well being.

Sweet-Interview5620 −  NTA she was a**sive to you it doesn’t matter if it’s only verbal that itself shows she has no respect for you. She will never have your back or see wrong in her actions and honestly I’m questioning if she even likes you never mind loves.

Your never wrong for ended a relationship your not happy in. Especially one showing abuse at the begining like this. It will only ever get worse and she will always have an excuse to play the victim. You saved yourself a lot of hassle by leaving her. Her birthday doesn’t matter as she choose to abuse you again two days before after warning her it was a deal breaker. It’s on her she thought you’d just tolerate it. She caused the split not you.

CJCreggsGoldfish −  Being constantly insulted and berated is not exactly helpful to erectile dysfunction. You’re well rid of that puta.

DiverQuiet1381 −  Nta u deserve better.

No-Tart-8465 −  Hard NTA. If you love someone, you don’t insult them even when you have biggest fight ever. My ex boyfriend who was really a**sive was calling me i**ot on daily basis. It was his way to hurt my confidence and after many years I believed I am stupid. Move on and focus on your feelings.

abeebytes −  HELL NO! NTA by any stretch. She wants a r**ard, let her find one.

SonOfSchrute −  NTA. Great timing bro! Now you can spend anything you were planning for this harridan’s birthday on yourself.