AITAH for breaking up with and kicking my girlfriend out because she went to an afterparty without me?

A Reddit user, frustrated by his girlfriend’s actions at a party, decided to end their relationship when she went to an afterparty at a coworker’s house without him, ignoring his texts and returning home early in the morning.

Feeling disrespected and concerned about her relationship with the coworker, he asked her to move out, though she insisted nothing inappropriate happened. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for breaking up with and kicking my girlfriend out because she went to an afterparty without me?’

I \[24m\] and my girlfriend \[23f, Anne\] began dating in college. Last week, Anne invited me to her co-worker’s (Joe) party. I had heard a lot about him in the past, and he and she really seemed to have a lot in common, especially with their taste in music.

Apparently he was an amateur musician with a fairly successful YouTube channel. Joe initially invited only Anne, but when she asked him if I could tag along, he said it was fine. The party was on Saturday evening. It was a fun party with about 30 people, held at a restaurant Joe had rented out.

Towards the end, though, I wandered into Anne’s little discussion group, and I immediately got the feeling that nobody really wanted me there, most of all Anne. It was her, Joe, and a few other people. Thinking that I was just imagining things, I hung around, and listened to Joe basically boast about himself the whole time.

A little while later I wandered off to get myself a drink and chat with a few other people. Eventually the time to leave came around, and I went to find Anne again. Joe approached me at that point and said that he was having an afterparty over at his house.

I was going to refuse, but then he said, “Sorry man but only Anne is invited” while clapping me on the shoulder. I first told him not to touch me, and then said she’s not going. He informed me that she had already accepted the invitation.

I texted Anne immediately to ask where she was. She responded “Sorry, on the way to Joe’s place. I’ll see you tomorrow love you!” I asked if she knew I wasn’t invited, and she then left me on read. Texts after that were all ignored.

I drove home furious. I stayed up all night, and finally Anne walked in the door at 5:42am. I know because I was by the window watching. I recognized the car as Joe’s and the driver as Joe. Nobody else was in the car. Anne waved to him cutely and laughed at something he said.

Anne came inside and acted surprised to see me still up. At that point I flatly told her that we were done, and she had the rest of the day to move out. Anne was at first confused with me, and then I told her that she can just move in with Joe.

She rolled her eyes and said nothing happened. She gave me this spiel about my insecurities and imagination. I said it didn’t matter. After this back-and-forward arguing, Anne finally relented and sarcastically thanked me for wasting “the best years of \[her\] life.”

Anne finally moved out yesterday, and it was pretty dramatic. She said that she loved me and that I was throwing away everything over a party. Did I do her wrong here? I feel like I’m getting gaslighted.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Sousou2307 −  She left you at a party she invited you to – went to another party without communicating with you and ghosted you when you messaged her?

I am sorry but she doesn’t care or respect you – at least you are no priority and her colleagues seems to be more important – I would never leave my partner I came with to a party stranded at a party and then gaslight him for being angry … seems your her safety person the one who should wait for her and take care of her and that’s it. NTA

Dear_Parsnip_6802 −  Even if she didn’t sleep with him she left you at a party without saying goodbye and went to a party she knew you weren’t invited to.

Doesn’t respond to your text, doesn’t tell you what’s going on and then tries to downplay your valid feelings. She has no respect for you. Yiu absolutely made the right decision, you deserve better than that.

Con4America −  NTA. If you love someone, you don’t leave them behind and go to an after party with another guy. You did the right thing. I’m sorry. I know it hurts but you will meet someone better.

lemondeahh −  NTA. That’s an incredibly suspicious move on her part & the lack of communication, ignoring your texts, LEAVING the party without even saying goodbye at least? She 100% is doing something with Joe.

She wouldn’t have left abruptly without you and ignore you the entire night if she wasn’t. She’s trying to play dumb & clearly has no issues disrespecting you. You made the right decision.

cthulularoo −  That was pretty disrespectful. She didn’t even tell you just left you to your own devices. If she didn’t f**k someone that night, she would the next time she went off on her own. Good riddance. NTA

AnonThrowAway072023 −  NTA. Well done king. Joe and her wanted to rub your nose in it. Great job giving her consequences 

herejusttoargue909 −  Oh she definitely slept with Joe. The hand pat on the back was his Ego. They’re laughing at you as we type this. NTA. Don’t even entertain a conversation with her “for closure” when she realizes Joe just wanted a quick lay.. This is one of the meanest stories I’ve ever read on here

mcgaffen −  NTA. Imagine the audacity of telling your friends BF that they are explicitly not invited once they are already out. She left you on read – couldn’t even take 10 seconds to send you a reply. She just agreed and left, didn’t even put up a fight for you – says a lot.

arodomus −  NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You know how pissed off I’d be if my girl left some event we went to together without telling me, to go some arrogant pricks place? And left me on read? You did exactly what most of us would do.

RSTA30 −  NTA. You handled it like an absolute boss. Redditors should read this and make sure it sinks in that this is exactly how you should react to such blatant disrespect.

Was the user justified in ending the relationship, or was it an overreaction to his girlfriend’s night out? How would you handle feelings of insecurity or boundaries in a relationship? Share your thoughts below!