AITAH for breaking up marriage plan due to his plans of making me housewife and a bang maid ?

A 29-year-old woman (F) with a successful career as a head nurse and a six-figure salary broke off her arranged marriage to a wealthy man after he and his family insisted she give up her career and become a housewife. Despite their pressure, she refused to sacrifice her independence and career,

which led to a significant argument with his family, including passive-aggressive comments from his mother. After several days of reflection, she ended the relationship, causing disappointment and anger from both his family and her own, who were concerned about the reputational impact.

She made a public post to defend herself, gaining support from others. Her regret is that he didn’t make his intentions clear earlier. read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for breaking up marriage plan due to his plans of making me housewife and a bang maid ?’

I am 29 f who has done well in life and is earning a six figure salary. I own my home. I am a head nurse and working at reputable govt hospital. I have had a couple of boyfriends , but we couldn’t marry due to some circumstances that were out of control..one moved out of country and other one’s mom didn’t like me and the community i belong to.

We brokeup because we didn’t want long term fights and we didn’t see a nice future. He was love of my life. Finally I agreed to arrange marriage setup now..and matched a guy . We have had year of courship and fell in love. So marriage was next year.

Now this guy is super rich and his family and him started saying I don’t need to work. And he will give me as much as money to spend. He wants me to handle household. Note we have multigenerational family homes. So his parents would have lived with us too. I told him it isn’t possible for me.

I worked hard to reach this level in career. I told him I don’t want to be his bed warmer and housemaid. I have immense respect for house wives. But I don’t want to be one.. His parents started being passive aggressive. I ignored. Finally few days back. We had huge argument during Weeknd lunch at his house.

His mom said today’s girls are so tough and don’t value family values. I disagreed. I value family a lot but that doesn’t mean i want to be like previous gen women who sacrificed everything to be seen goddesses in society. I have seen my mom sacrificing so much. Which I don’t want to.

I left and after thinking for days . I told my parents this won’t work. They were shocked and sad because it would cause a loss on reputation of family. But i stopped eating and they agreed after seeing my condition. We brokeup. And his family is mad. That how a girl from my background can reject a rich guy like their son.

They tried to ruin my reputation..I made a public post on insta and facebook with screenshot of chat , where I was being pressured to leave job and now I have full support. Now they are calling me and my parents and threatening us etc. I don’t care. At this point. If a man has to come he will.

If he doesn’t. I will adopt a kid in future. But I don’t want to be someone’s doormat. With this job. I have gifted myself and my family foreign vacations. Decent cars. I don’t wanna be on mercy of some man. My only regret is that he could’ve told me from day one but made me fall for him and wasted a year.

He said he found me attractive and so he went for me.. I feel weird. Aitah for breaking his heart and ruining his reputation?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Usual-Canary-7764 −  You sound pretty independent enough and plenty of men respect that. If he wants a version you cannot provide I am not sure what he is mad at. Incompatibility is real. You guys were incompatible. You will find your person. NTA OP

Fabulous-Toe4593 −  You are a strong, independent, intelligent woman. Never let anyone else make you feel anything less.. You made a great decision.. Best wishes for your future.

Bid_Unable −  NTA

Blossoms-Babe −  NTA. Girl, you dodged a \*luxury prison\*. It’s giving “rich guy energy but 1950s mindset,” and you’re out here thriving with your six-figure salary and boss energy. Why throw all that away to be someone’s unpaid labor? The audacity of him and his family to think money = control over your life.

Like, no thanks, sir. You’re not leaving a millionaire; you’re leaving a guy who thought he could buy your dreams. Big difference. And the whole “family reputation” thing? Meh, let the aunties talk.

You’ve already proven you’re capable of building your own life, gifting your fam vacations, and being an independent queen. So yeah, good on you for taking a stand. He wasted a year, but you’ve gained peace of mind. As for the relatives, let them know you’d rather be single and happy than stuck in someone’s golden cage. 👏

Strong_Arm8734 −  NTA and more women should have your good sense!

-NickenChugget- −  They showed their controlling nature right off the bat. Imagine how they’d be after you marrying into the family, they would own you. Sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen.

Good riddance. If the guy cared/cares about you at all, can’t you talk to him and to get his family to back off? Wtf did you even do besides disagree with their idea of being a 50s housewife.

vagalumes −  If he doesn’t feed you, he can’t starve you.

SpareMind −  I read somewhere: Many divorces can be avoided with little common sense.***. ***Marriages too!!***. You did the second.

EducationOk1581 −  NTA. Indian here. I would suggest you secure your job and reputation at your workplace. Let them know beforehand about his crazy ass and family. So that your job doesn’t suffer if they try to discredit you in the workplace.

WishmeluckOG −  NTA Aaaah it is refreshing to see a story on here from some one with a backbone.

The woman made a difficult decision to prioritize her independence, career, and values over societal expectations and the pressure to conform to a traditional role. It’s understandable why she feels betrayed by the man for hiding his true intentions.

While ending the relationship is painful, she ultimately made a choice that aligns with her goals and self-respect. Should she feel guilty for breaking his heart, or was she right to stand her ground for what she believes in? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!