AITAH for breaking off my wedding because of my fiancés bachelor party?
On the eve of their wedding, OP’s fiancé celebrated his bachelor party with explicit behavior: receiving lap dances, licking alcohol off a woman’s breasts, making out with multiple women, and ending the night naked in bed with two strangers. When confronted, he dismissed it as “what guys do,” then shifted blame over OP checking his phone. Now, his family vilifies her for “ruining their son’s day,” while her support system rallies behind her.
‘ AITAH for breaking off my wedding because of my fiancés bachelor party?’
Expert Opinions
The Myth of “Boys Will Be Boys”:
Dr. Carol Langlois, relationship therapist, states: “Using ‘tradition’ to justify infidelity is gaslighting. Bachelor parties don’t require sexual acts with others—this is cheating, full stop.”
Trust and Marriage Foundations:
A 2023 study in Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that pre-wedding infidelity correlates with higher divorce rates. “Starting a marriage with broken trust sets a dangerous precedent,” warns Dr. Langlois.
Family Pressure vs. Personal Boundaries:
Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula emphasizes: “His family’s anger reflects their investment in the wedding, not your well-being. Prioritizing their son’s ‘day’ over your trauma is toxic.”
Solutions from Experts:
- Do Not Reschedule: Rebuilding trust requires time, therapy, and accountability—none of which the fiancé has shown.
- Seek Support: Lean on friends/family; consider individual therapy to process betrayal.
- Set Non-Negotiables: If reconciliation is considered, demand transparency, couples therapy, and genuine remorse.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with OP, calling the fiancé’s actions “disgusting” and his family “enablers.” Critics dismissed bachelor party norms as excuses, though most agreed intent mattered: “Cheating is cheating, regardless of the occasion.” A minority argued “cold feet happen,” but even they conceded naked bed photos cross irreversible lines.
This isn’t about a canceled wedding—it’s about self-respect. The fiancé’s actions (and defensiveness) reveal a fundamental disrespect for OP and the relationship. His family’s reaction further underscores a culture of excusing harmful behavior.
NTA….if the tables were turned and he saw that on your phone what do you think would happen? So don’t reschedule and be thankful you learned this before saying I Do.
Wow are you an actual ret@rd why the f**k would you embarrass yourself by asking should I work it out with him no he cheated the thing men fail to see is you are in no way shape or form single on your bachelor party and no it’s not what men do not all men are f**king pigs leave please you did the right thing considering everyone is on your side you loved him he don’t love you for his shitty actions please don’t be a dumb bitch and run back to a pig.
Kick him into touch (and in the nuts) what an absolute AH of a “man”. You are worthy of much better
It may be hard to think about the break up and long term ramifications now, but try and imagine the life you will have with him if you stay, he was unfaithful – be faithful to yourself and your beliefs that a commited relationship is just that – committed
You have dodged a bullet . No way should you trust him again . I would bet there’s a reason he was defensive about his phone too . What other evidence has he covered up ? He is a cheat.