AITAH for banning my SIL and her kids from my house?

A Redditor (39F) expresses frustration after her sister-in-law, Laura (29F), allowed her children to damage a family heirloom—a Steinway grand piano—during a gathering. Despite being warned, Laura’s kids touched and even stood on the piano, causing deep scratches.

When confronted, Laura dismissed the damage and refused to apologize, leading the Redditor to ban her and her kids from their home. Some family members support the Redditor, while others think it was an overreaction. Read the original story below for more details.

‘ AITAH for banning my SIL and her kids from my house?’

I (39F) have a grand piano that’s been in my family for generations. It was originally my great-grandmother’s, passed down to my grandmother, then my mother, and now me. It’s a Steinway grand piano, worth more than I care to say, but its value is more sentimental than monetary.

It’s been lovingly cared for and holds countless memories of family gatherings, holidays, and music lessons. I’ve always treated it as more than a piece of furniture—it’s a part of our family history. Last weekend, I hosted a family gathering, and my sister-in-law, “Laura” (29F), came with her two kids (6M and 4F).

Her kids are a handful, to put it mildly. I made it clear when they arrived that the piano was strictly off-limits. I even put up a sign that says, “Do not touch.” At some point during the party, I noticed her youngest running his hands over the keys while Laura just laughed.

I told her it wasn’t a toy, and she said, “Oh, it’s fine, he’s just curious,” but pulled him away. I thought that was the end of it. Later, I walked into the living room and nearly had a heart attack. Her older son was *standing on top of the piano* while Laura stood nearby, taking pictures like it was cute!

I yelled at them to stop immediately, but by the time the kid got down, the damage was done. There were deep scratches all over the lid and top of the piano. I was furious. I told Laura she needed to leave, and she got defensive, saying I was being “dramatic” and that “it’s just a piano.”

She refused to apologize and even accused me of being “uptight” for caring so much about an “old piece of wood.” That night, I texted her to let her know she and her kids are no longer welcome in my house. She responded by calling me petty and claimed I was “punishing her kids for being kids.”

Some family members are on my side, saying Laura was reckless and disrespectful. Others think I’m overreacting and being too harsh, saying it’s just a piano and I shouldn’t ban family over it. To me, this isn’t just a piano—it’s a part of my family’s history that she let her kids ruin while she stood there laughing. AITA for banning her after this?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Queen_of_Pangea −  NTA and you should send her the bill for any restoration work, if that can be done to repair the damage. Edit – I know restoration work can be done, it is the degree of damage done that only OP knows for real, that made me say “if”.

ConfusedAt63 −  Send her the estimate/ bill for the repair. The entire top will have to be completely refinished, it will cost a small fortune I am sure.

That will get everyone’s attention when you announce that on social media for those that think you are wrong, they can chip in with her to get what her lovely pictures she thought were so cute are going to cost her to get your piano repaired.

Perfect_Ring3489 −  Nta. You have rules and boundaries. She broke them and laughed. Unacceptable. The piano is a family heirloom and should be respected

FairyPenguinStKilda −  Send her this so she understands how much it is worth, and send her a restoration bill.

Queen_of_Meh1987 −  NTA. First and foremost, you can have or not have anyone in your home for any reason that you want, because it’s your home. But destructive children with an unattentive parent that doesn’t even see the problem? Definitely banned, and they’d be getting the repair bill.

henchwench89 −  NTA its not kids being kids. Its laura being a rude entitled and bad parent. Get someone to assess the damage and cost of repairs and send her the bill

Kittytigris −  Pls tell me you also bill her the amount to restore the piano. NTA.

Careless-Visual-1853 −  Pianist here. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Did Laura post the pictures of her kids on the piano on social media? If so, get screenshots immediately so you have copies of them.

If you have a Steinway Dealer in the area, get an estimate of not only what it would take to repair the damage, but the piano’s current worth. Contact your home insurance as well and get an estimate from them.

There are attorneys out there who will sue with the provision that they’ll just get part of what you recover instead of you having to pay a flat fee. Consult one right away. Do not just let this go. This is damage to a family heirloom, which needs to be repaired if you’re going to pass it down to the next generation.

Personally, I would go no contact immediately. I understand that you want your children to have contact with her children, however you might stop to consider what type of influence those children will have over your children.

It certainly will not be positive. Again, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. The amount of carelessness, disrespect, and outright callousness is unbelievable. Please keep us updated. 🫂❤️

woodwroth −  NTA. My uncle has a music room with electronic keyboards and a parlor grand. Nothing in that room is sentimental or antique. As children, no matter how much we would have loved to play music (ska bang on the keyboards), we never set foot in that room.

Even though the door was never closed. Because we did not have permission, and we knew our mother would have grounded us for life if we tried. She raised us to respect other people’s property.

andyvbuzz −  NTA, its clear she doesn’t respect you enough to do the one thing you asked of her in your own home. she intentionally crossed those lines and thought it was cute and had no consequences. she’s an AH for that.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in banning her sister-in-law and her kids after the damage to the piano, or was this an overreaction? How would you handle a situation where something of sentimental value is disrespected by family? Share your thoughts and experiences below!