AITAH for asking my roommate to stop borrowing my clothes without asking?
A Reddit user shared their frustration about a roommate who keeps borrowing their clothes without permission. Initially tolerable, the situation escalated when expensive items like jackets and shoes were taken, and a favorite dress was stained.
When confronted, the roommate dismissed the issue, claiming sharing is normal among roommates. The user wonders if they’re wrong for setting boundaries. Read the full story below to decide for yourself.
‘ AITAH for asking my roommate to stop borrowing my clothes without asking?’
I live with my roommate, and we generally get along really well. The issue is that she keeps borrowing my clothes without asking. At first, it was the occasional sweater or hoodie, and I didn’t mind too much. But lately, it’s been more frequent, and she’s started taking more expensive pieces like jackets and shoes.
The final straw happened when I noticed she wore one of my favorite dresses out to a party and accidentally stained it. When I brought it up, she brushed it off and said she didn’t think I’d mind because I wasn’t wearing it at the time.
I told her I’d prefer if she asked before taking my stuff, but she said I was being uptight and that sharing is “what roommates do.” I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I’m also tired of feeling like my wardrobe is fair game. AITAH for setting a boundary and asking her to stop borrowing my clothes without permission?
See what others had to share with OP:
East_Parking8340 − Good, honest roommates don’t do that. They ask permission and then pay for any damage they cause. If you borrowed someone’s car and dinged it you’d pay for repairs,
this is no different – just on a smaller scale (actually, depending on the dress it may even be more expensive to replace). You need to install a proper lock on your door, that way she has no opportunity.. NTA
Ok-Position7403 − NTA. Simple answer: she said I was being uptight and that sharing is “what roommates do.” “Not this roommate! Borrowing occasionally with permission is one thing but my closet is not communal.”
Worth-Season3645 − NTA…Stop asking. Start “telling” roommate it is not just what roommates do, maybe sisters , but she is not your sister. TELL her she takes nothing of yours unless she asks you. And she is paying for the dry cleaning of the dress and better hope the stain comes out.
VeronicaSawyer8 − I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. This deserves a big deal. It’s not even about setting a boundary – it’s simply *don’t steal my stuff.*. NTA.
I_have__no__idea_ − NTA. taking someone else’s clothes is for sisters to do, not roommates, and even then my sisters always ask beforehand. I’m willing to put money on it that she will suddenly have an issue if you started taking her clothes.
Sit her down and tell her that you aren’t okay with her taking your clothes, don’t let her brush it off, and maybe invest in a lock, as much of a pain as that might be.
incospicuous_echoes − NTA. Put a lock on your door and get rid of her as soon as possible. Also, I would keep a camera in your room and log everything she’s taken from you. She had no boundaries or respect for property so she could have stolen literally anything from you.
Here_IGuess − NTA. Stop asking her. Tell her. Install a lock on your door. Borrowing is a privilege that she doesn’t appreciate or respect.
effinnxrighttt − NTA. Hell no that is not what roommates do. Using your seasonings in the kitchen? Sure par for the course. Taking your clothing without asking then ruining it, absolutely not.
It is common decency not to touch other people’s belongings. She knew you would do no so she didn’t ask. Get a lock for your door or closet and don’t allow her to wear anything of yours. Ask her to replace the item or cover the cost of it(within reason since it wasn’t new).
Primary-Criticism929 − Borrowing without asking is stealing. NTA. Put a lock on your door or send her a bill everytime she borrows something : clothes rental.
Buffalo-Empty − NTA. I’ve had a few roommates in my life and we have NEVER had a free for all in each others clothes. I think I’ve asked to borrow things on occasion for a costume or something but I’ve never just gone and taken anything from them without asking for permission. This is absolutely NOT “what roommates do”.
Do you think the Redditor’s request for boundaries was reasonable, or should sharing be expected in a roommate dynamic? How would you handle a similar situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!