AITAH for asking my friend to split the bill evenly when they ordered significantly more than me?
A woman joined friends for dinner, agreeing beforehand to split the bill evenly. However, one friend ordered significantly more—multiple appetizers, an expensive entrée, and drinks—while she had a modest meal due to budgeting constraints.
When the bill came, she suggested paying individually for what they ordered, but the friend pushed back, saying they “always split evenly.” Feeling awkward, she relented but now feels resentful as this pattern has occurred before. read the original story below…
‘ AITAH for asking my friend to split the bill evenly when they ordered significantly more than me?’
A few nights ago, I went out to dinner with a group of friends to a nice restaurant. We agreed beforehand to split the bill evenly, as we usually do. However, one of my friends ordered multiple appetizers, an expensive entrée, and a couple of drinks, while I only got a modest meal and a soda because I’m on a tight budget this month.
When the bill came, the total was much higher than I expected. I suggested we adjust the split so everyone paid for what they ordered, but my friend looked annoyed and said, “We always split evenly. Why make a fuss now?” The rest of the group seemed neutral, but I felt awkward insisting, so I ended up paying the even split.
Now, I feel a bit resentful because this happens often with this friend, and I wonder if I was out of line for suggesting a different approach this time. AITAH for wanting to split the bill based on what we ordered?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Angelz80 − NTA Unless everyone agreed and ate those appetizers and drinks I suggest a different way to pay. This “friend” is very obviously taking advantage of the split agreement. Make a dollar limit or an item limit or stop inviting that friend.That’s just greedy.
Prestigious_Teach549 − NTA. Splitting the bill evenly only works when everyone orders similarly; it’s unfair for you to subsidize someone else’s indulgence, especially when you’re on a tight budget.
It’s reasonable to suggest paying for what you ordered when the disparity is significant, and your friend’s annoyance reflects entitlement, not a valid argument. Next time, set clear expectations before ordering to avoid this situation.
Nolongeranalpha − Separate Checks. Always. Unless one of you says “I’m buying. ”
Visual-Ad2319 − NTA. Folks, it is easy math. No one is exempt from paying for what they ordered. If not, I will just start getting champagne and lobster.
THOUGHTCOPS − Why are people afraid to call out freeloaders? When he says “why make a fuss now”? Remind him/them you are on a tight budget thats why you only ordered such. Then list his extravagant order and just PAY for what you ordered!
LyraWhisperer − NTA, it’s totally fair to want to pay for what you ordered. Maybe next time mention you’re on a budget before ordering. A friend of mine dealt with this by getting separate checks, and it worked out well for everyone. Clear communication helps avoid awkwardness later.
SablePulse − You’re not the a**hole. It’s totally fair to want to pay for your own meal, especially on a tight budget. Next time, just let the server know you want a separate check right away. That way, there’s no awkwardness and everyone pays their fair share.
Treehousehunter − Next time someone orders like your friend did, politely ask the server to separate just your bill. Watch how the rest of the group follows when they realize they have to subsidize even more of the friend’s expensive taste!
Ok_Historian_646 − NTA! Your friend is taking advantage of the situation. Moving forward, I suggest being upfront and letting the group know you can only afford to pay for your own meals when you go out. Often times the even split down the middle is NOT that even!
LuneSable − NTA, it’s totally fair to want to pay for what you ordered. A friend dealt with this by requesting separate checks at the start, and it worked well. Just be upfront about being on a budget next time; clear communication can prevent awkwardness and resentment later on.
Was it fair for her to propose splitting the bill differently, or should she have stuck to the prearranged agreement? How would you handle a friend who consistently orders more but expects an even split? what do you think? share your thoughts below !
