AITAH for announcing our pregnancy at my brother’s wedding after he proposed at mine?
Family milestones are meant to be celebrated, but what happens when sibling rivalry hijacks the spotlight? A Reddit user faces backlash for announcing their pregnancy at their brother’s wedding—a retaliatory move after he ignored their pleas and proposed at their own wedding months earlier. The story sparks heated debates about boundaries, revenge, and who “owns” a wedding day.
‘AITAH for announcing our pregnancy at my brother’s wedding after he proposed at mine?’
Expert Opinions:
Wedding Etiquette and Boundary-Setting
Dr. Jane Greer, relationship expert and author of What About Me?, states: “Weddings are deeply personal events, and hijacking them for another milestone violates basic etiquette. The brother’s decision to propose despite being asked not to shows a lack of respect for boundaries. However, retaliating with another attention-grabbing act perpetuates a toxic cycle.” (Psychology Today, 2023).
The Psychology of Reciprocity in Family Conflicts
A 2022 study in Family Process highlights that retaliatory behavior in families often stems from unresolved resentment. Dr. Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author, explains: “Retaliation might feel justified, but it rarely resolves the core issue. Both parties end up weaponizing milestones, which can fracture family trust long-term.”
The Role of Parents in Sibling Rivalry
Dr. Susan Forward, author of Toxic Parents, argues: “The mother’s failure to mediate fairly—threatening to leave OP’s wedding—escalated the conflict. Parents must model impartiality, or they risk becoming complicit in sibling estrangement.”
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Top Comments Summary:
NTA: “Brother had it coming—play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
ESH: “Two wrongs don’t make a right. You both ruined each other’s weddings.”
YTA: “Announcing a pregnancy at a wedding is just as bad as proposing at one.”
Justified ESH: “Mom’s the real villain for enabling this drama.”
This sibling showdown raises thorny questions about fairness and forgiveness. Was OP’s pregnancy announcement a justified act of poetic justice, or did it stoop to the same level as their brother’s proposal? While the mother’s partiality fueled the fire, both siblings turned weddings into battlegrounds. Where do you draw the line between standing your ground and perpetuating family toxicity? Share your thoughts below.
Love it, love it, LOVE IT! Perfect! You did just right in getting back at him. I’d love to know how he reacted! More about Granny too, who backed you up. good for her.
Tit for tat…How did he like being treated just like he treated you?
NTA. And by the way Mom. Don’t worry, I won’t bother letting you know when the baby comes.
All you people saying what’s wrong with sharing the joy of the wedding with a proposal or that it’s selfish to want the whole day to be about the couple are dense Y’all are probably the ones that don’t get what is wrong with allowing a child to grab the spotlight or blow out the candles at another’s birthday party Ridiculous, it is never wrong to want your special days to be just about you or in this case the couple.
Not at all as you so rightly pointed out to your mother by their own logic it should not have been a problem. Good job standing up for yourself and congrats on your baby
Who can go wrong with grandma in their corner? Brother and Mother got what they deserved! Well played!
I would’ve just added to mother, or even at the start of your speech, that “since we won’t see a lot of of our family members for a long time, I’d like to take this opportunity to announce..” nothing like your own words thrown back in your face.
NTA. Reminds me of when Megan M announced her pregnancy at Eugenie’s wedding. Always wanting the spotlight on them. Good on you both !
You were there? Fabulous – lucky you!