AITAH: Don’t want to bring my girlfriend to a wedding?

A Reddit user is grappling with the dilemma of whether or not to bring his girlfriend to an upcoming family wedding. While the wedding is an important event for his family, he struggles with his girlfriend’s expectations of constant attention and introductions at social gatherings.

Past experiences have left him feeling restricted and frustrated, leading him to consider attending the wedding alone. The Redditor questions if his reluctance is due to relationship issues or personal preferences. To read the full story and see how the situation unfolds, check out the original post below.

‘ AITAH: Don’t want to bring my girlfriend to a wedding?’

I have a family wedding coming up, the families first wedding in like 10 years, so it is a big deal for the family. When I take my girlfriend of a year plus to events, she wants me to babysit her, sit by her, expects me to introduce her to every person. In contrast, take me to an event, I am fine, I am happy not to be introduced to anyone, if I want to talk I will go introduce myself.

Not that long ago I took her to my uncles 88th birthday party (he lives in a nursing home), I knew maybe 4 people out of 25 there. I started mingling and meeting the people, trying to understand their relationship with my uncle. On the way home, she eviscerated me, “you left me there sitting with your aunt”, “you didn’t introduce me to everyone” etc. All I could think about was, how about, I don’t bring you next time, its not worth all this.As additional info, she is like a CEO type, runs an organization, getting her way on most things.

Recently, I took her to a Gala that had about 400+ people, I probably knew 100 personally (it was an event that most people did not bring their significant others because it was expensive, probably 15% did). On the way there, she gave me a lecture, don’t leave her, etc.

So walking in, I introduced her to everyone that I ran into on the way to our seats, probably 10-15 people, but then I just sat at our table. I only talked to people at my table, I felt so constricted. So finally, I said, let me go talk to my friends over there and I spent about 10-15 minutes talking to people that I knew.

Additional Info, it is a cross country relationship, she happens to live near my hometown, which I visit regularly and thereby visit her. She comes out to visit me on occasion. She has met my cousins, particularly the grooms mother, whom she has become friends with so, she knows all the details about the wedding which is also in a different state. So to go to the wedding, both of us would have to travel.

Last night, as I was home alone, I had an epiphany, I really don’t want her to come to the wedding with me. All I could think about was all my cousins and family that I haven’t seen in forever and being constricted in just hanging with them. She is going to feel like a boat anchor at this once in a decade family event. Maybe I have just been an AH about this my entire life, not doing introductions properly.

Maybe I am just not just happy about other things. I flew in for a long weekend and she wanted to go out to jazz place, she made reservations (she must always have reservations wherever she goes), and while out, she got sick (probably bad food earlier), we left early and she is driving home in her brand new luxury vehicle and she pulls over quickly, opens the door and starts vomiting.

Covering the door, the cup holders, the hand holds, everything with vomit. We finally make it home and she goes to bed. I go out to her car and clean the vomit from everywhere. I get a bucket of soap and water and clean it completely, but I realize that some of the vomit is so deep in the hand wells, that I need to take a small bit of it apart, clean it and let it dry separately. So I leave a piece out on the console to fully dry.

The next day, she is feeling better and has to go somewhere and I say, don’t mind that little piece that I had to take off the door of the car. She starts complaining about how I have comprised the warranty on her car, and how I need to go put it back together this very moment, etc. I responded by saying, its not a big deal, not going to affect your warranty, etc.

She continues to shriek about this, so I get up, and spend 30 seconds putting the piece back in place. Something about the sequence just irritated me. I just want to go to the wedding and have fun, enjoy my family, but realize that if I don’t take her with me, the relationship is probably over.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

doug5209 −  NTA, but the wedding isn’t really the issue. When you don’t want to take your partner to important events in your lives, you’re with the wrong person.

ChaoticCrashy −  NTA. It sounds like you two are not compatible. She wants to be the center of your attention and you want to enjoy your family. Not wanting to attend family events with her is a clear sign that the relationship is over. Go to the wedding alone. End the relationship and move on. She doesn’t appreciate you at all, and what little time you spend together you aren’t enjoying yourself. It’s time to move on.. Good luck!

Similar-Traffic7317 −  NTA. But why are you with her? Are you one of those people that would rather be miserable in a relationship because you are too scared to be alone?

sbull630 −  My grandmother passed in 2021. My bf at the time said he was gonna come with me to the funeral. I told him no. Everytime he went to a family gathering, he would sit on the couch and not talk to anyone. We were together for 6 years; it’s not like he didn’t know these people. He made me feel horrible for wanting to talk to my family, so I would sit on the couch with him so that he wasn’t alone.

This day in particular, I just wanted to be with my family. Sit and drink and reminisce about better times. I didn’t need or want him there to make me Feel weird and uncomfortable. He was NOT happy. And it was proof to me it was time to end it.

We lasted another year cuz I just kept trying. But when he didn’t send condolences for my grandfathers passing OR wish me a happy birthday, I was done. There were alot more issues in that relationship, that Covid actually exacerbated. But I kept trying. Point is, don’t take her if she’s gonna be like that. Go and enjoy your time with your family. Than take a real long hard look at your relationship.

CommunicationGlad299 −  NTA, the two of you aren’t compatible. You are an extrovert and enjoy meeting and mingling. I don’t know if she’s an introvert but she certainly does not enjoy meeting unless someone does it for her. Neither of you is wrong but you aren’t compatible.

What is wrong is her thinking it’s ok to shriek at you for any reason, let alone for doing her a favor. Shrieking at you and demanding that you comply immediately is also known as controlling behavior and verbal abuse. Cut the chain and chuck the social anchor overboard.

Salt-Finding9193 −  You’re on totally different wavelengths. It’s better to be single than be with someone like this. You don’t suit don’t make the mistake of marrying her and then meeting the person you are compatible with. It will be a bloody mess. Stay single until you meet someone cool. . This person isnt it. 

SadFlatworm1436 −  The wedding is not your problem. You do her a solid cleaning up her vomit and she yells at you? That’s not respectful. The dynamic is your problem NTA.

FrannyFray −  You need to rethink this relationship. It sounds like you are not happy. As for the family reunion, go solo. You are right, it’s probably a rare experience and you want to enjoy it fully. If you know she will destroy the day, do not take her. Period.

PensionLegitimate706 −  INFO: Please explain why you are in this relationship when it’s clear you don’t want to be. That’s the real question.

Perfect_Ring3489 −  Nta but you are not happy. Why would you stay in this situation . She didnt appreciate your efforts cleaning her vomit and she sounds insecure and c**ngy. If you dont want her at an event, youre not really into her.