AITA We started eating Thanksgiving dinner without my sister ?

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A family warned their sister to be ready for Thanksgiving dinner by 7 p.m., giving her reminders from 1 p.m. until dinner was served. Despite constant check-ins and updates that dinner was starting, she stayed in her room and didn’t communicate.

The family began eating around 8:24 p.m., but the sister came down 10 minutes later, angry that they started without her. The family wonders if they were wrong to proceed without waiting longer. read the original story below…

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‘ AITA We started eating Thanksgiving dinner without my sister ?’

1pm: We warn her guests will arrive at 7 and to please get ready and be out of her room.
1-7pm: We send sporadic reminders, knock on her door, remind her she has X amount of hours left, constant checking-in.

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7pm-8pm: Guests arrive. She is nowhere to be seen. Everyone is busy doing something. Cooking, setting the table, socializing. Still we send reminders: People are here. Eating soon. Dinner is almost ready. Dinner is on the table now. People are on the table now. We are eating. She is not answering or otherwise communicating with with us.

8:24pm (exact timestamp from a photo I took): We start eating. 10 mins later she comes down pissed we started without her, nearly an hour and a half after we told her to be ready, and with constant reminders and warnings leading up to dinner.

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So, are we the assholes? Mind you there were 11 people total, with two sides of the family seeing each other for the first time in years, plus a newborn baby who was mercifully asleep right when the food was coming out hot. Everything was chaotic and people were hungry.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA. Sister is ridiculous

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Turmeric_Ping −  If I pulled that kind of crap when i was a kid, I’d have been sent right back to my room, not seated at the table.

Just_somebody_onhere −  Stop enabling entitlement. This shouldn’t even be a question, she’s an entitled princess and no one should be putting up with that nonsense.. NTA

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adjudicateu −  Why are you constantly reminding her? No adult should need to be reminded that many times what time dinner is. NTA. Stop babysitting her. Tell her once ‘dinner is at X’ and then have dinner at ‘x’. If this ‘reminding’ behavior is normal, it needs to stop across all categories.

definitelytheA −  After years of my adult daughter turning up late for holiday meals, telling her dinner would be an hour or two before I actually planned to serve, oh (!), and the time she told me she was coming in the morning to help cook, and showing up two hours after dinner was to be served, I had enough.

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Especially since the last instance ended up with a nearly inedible turkey. Next holiday, I gave the correct hour, and said we would be eating at that time. And we did. Cue daughter showing up late enough that leftovers were packed up, and dishes were done.

The shocked face when I greeted her warmly and told her she could help herself to the leftovers as long as she cleaned up her mess… gold! Her brothers and I didn’t even bother to shut off the Die Hard marathon. We let her eat alone.

Alarming_Reply_6286 −  How old is your sister? 14?. NTA

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amyloulie −  NTA. What an entitled b**t, turns up late and without having lifted a finger and still has the nerve to be annoyed.

Baker_knitter1120 −  NTA. Your sister is a d**ma queen. Too used to being babied with all your constant reminders. She should be helping with the preparations. Are your parents still with you? Sorry i had to ask coz OP did not mention anything about your parents being in the same house.

billdogg7246 −  We host most holidays for my wife’s family because we have the room, and can better afford the costs. I was raised to be on time, which actually means 15-30 minutes early to help the hosts. We’ve been married 23 years. The first few years we’d wait, much to the detriment of the food.

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Then we tried telling them we were eating at least 2 hours before we actually planned on sitting down. That worked a couple times. About 4 years ago I said f**k it. We told them all when dinner would be served, and that if they were late, too bad.

More than once, people would arrive after things had been cleaned up and put away. Oh well! I guess you’re not eating! Thanks for coming! This thanksgiving, EVERYONE was on time!!!

Wisdomofpearl −  I had an aunt who was always late to everything, Grandpa always said she would be late to her own funeral. Everyone just started telling her whatever it was it started two hours earlier than scheduled, she still showed up late but only twenty to forty minutes late.

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When this aunt passed away the driver of the hearse got lost between the funeral home and the small country church, so she actually was late to her own funeral. It was oddly appropriate.

Balancing respect for someone’s timing with the needs of a larger group can be tricky, especially during a family gathering. What would you have done in this situation? Should they have waited or were they right to start without her? Share your thoughts below!

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