AITA to request my little brother stop calling me by my stepfather’s lastname?

A 16-year-old Redditor shares their discomfort about being called by their stepfather’s last name by their 5-year-old half-brother. After their mom married Seth and changed both her last name and the little brother’s last name to match, the young boy has started addressing OP as “(First Name) Smith.” Despite repeatedly asking him to stop, the mom defends the behavior, accusing OP of causing a rift in the family. Now, OP wonders if they’re wrong for wanting to maintain their own identity and requesting their brother to respect it.

‘ AITA to request my little brother stop calling me by my stepfather’s lastname?’

My mom 42F has been seeing this guy 46M, whom i will call Seth for about 9 years now. They got married in 2019 and moved in together but 8 months later they separated, not legally. They kept contact and are now back together.

Since moving back, my mom decided to hyphenate her lastname to match Seth’s last name and have changed my 5M little brother’s lastname from her maiden to Seth’s lastname, let’s say Smith for the sake of the post.

Now, even though I 16m moved in with them, i didn’t want to change my lastname, for myself and to avoid drama within my late father’s family. Now, Seth and Mom are training LB to his new lastname and he has started calling me (OP name)Smith. I wasn’t comfortable and told him to stop it or just call me by my name only.

Mom is defending LB and saying to stop letting know LB that we should have different lastnames and causing a rift in the family Please note that LB is aware that Seth is not my Bio dad and acknowledges that i even have half siblings besides him. But, AITA to request he stop calling me by Seth’s Lastname.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

RosyGlint −  NTA. I think it’s totally okay to want to be called by your own last name, especially since it’s important to you. Your little brother might be getting used to his new last name, but that doesn’t mean you should be forced to adopt it if you’re not comfortable.

AnalogyAddict −  NTA, and I’ll never stop being baffled by adults who want their kids to play in their crazy games of g**lighting and erasing the past. When I divorced, I lived for 10 years with a last name I hated, given to me by my abuser, so my very young kids wouldn’t have one more thing to stress about during that time. . Putting it on you is disgusting.

dryadduinath −  NTA. Training your brother to call by a name that isn’t yours will never lead anywhere good. Your name is what it is, and if he’s to call you by your full name, it should be your *actual* full name… not the name someone else thinks you should have.

Bouche_Audi_Shyla −  I worked in daycare. Aaron was in my two year old room. A few months in, and he’s moved to the three year old room on the other side of the divider. The new twos, including Erin, came in from the toddler room. The twos and threes were together early morning and late afternoon, and also during outside time.

The children called Aaron “the boy Aaron” and Erin “the girl Erin” without any input from the adults. These were two and three year olds. They didn’t know that Aaron and Erin were spelled differently. They didn’t know that they’re two different names. The kids knew that two children answered to the phonics of Aaron/Erin.

They came up with the solution themselves. If two and three year olds can understand, a neurally normal five year old can. All you need to say is “Your last name is Smith. My last name is Jones.”

FairyFartDaydreams −  NTA just say “My name is OP’s name Your name changed mine didn’t and that’s OK.” Your brother is 5 he looks up to you so he wants to have the same name as yours is likely what is happening. Let him know it is OK to have different last names and still be family, The adults need to stop treating the 5 year old like he can’t figure this out with a few corrections unless he has a learning difficulty this concept is something he can handle.

Specialist-Yard139 −  NTA if you don’t want to change your last name your family can’t force you, your also old enough to make that choice yourself.

_daddyissues666 −  NTA. It’s not your last name, so there’s no reason for them to train him to call you that. That’s just showing your little brother he can call anyone by any name he wants regardless of what name they actually go by.

LowBalance4404 −  NTA, but he’s five. Any reaction you give him is attention and he wants his older sibling’s attention, even if it’s negative. I’d just ignore it.

Key-Ad-5068 −  This whole situation sounds unhealthy as Hell. Like your mom is using your brother and attempting to use you as a tool to her husband to stay. NTA.

Shdfx1 −  NTA. You gave the right to keep your father’s name. Your mother is way out of line here, demanding you change your name.. Stick to your guns. Your brother should learn the correct names of his relatives.