AITA telling the truth in the wedding toast?

A Redditor shared how their best man duties turned into a nightmare due to the bride’s excessive demands and constant micromanaging. Despite their efforts to stay patient, the situation escalated, leading to a wedding toast where they candidly expressed their frustration and doubts about the marriage. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA telling the truth in the wedding toast?’

I’m a 30 year old male and my best friend got married last week. I just bought a house and my wife is expecting out son in November, so I let him know I was limited in what I could contribute financially, but did tell him I would try my best. So, I wend to the bachelor party in Maine, I rented the tux, and paid for mine and my wife’s dinner at the rehearsal dinner.

I also had a gift of $300 that I was going to give them, but we will get to why I didn’t give it to them. His (now wife, then fiance) texted me multiple times a day with updates–fine. I didn’t always respond and it got to the point where if I didn’t repsond at LEAST once a day, I’d get a call from my buddy.

(I have a full time job and am redoing some rooms in my house, so I’m busy.) She texted me for the following reasons: 1. My wife was NOT allowed to talk about our pregnancy, at all. She didn’t want anyone to focus on that more than her, the bride. 2. She was NOT going to order special food for my wife (no one asked her to, my wife was fine with whatever she was going to be served.)

3. I was not helping the groom enough, he had to help her with favors, seating charts and programs, so I had to help him with those things, according to her. She also said to get ready to help with thank you notes after the wedding. 4. She said if I was a true best man, I would offer to pay for the bar bill. I don’t even know what that means.

5. She had to read a approve my speech before the rehearsal dinner and wanted to be include as much, as my buddy. She told me to make up things if I had to. I was also NOT allowed to include anyone but the two of them and no inside jokes or stories about my buddy that didn’t include her.

6. Her last text said to tell my wife to keep it together and not make a pregnancy scene during the wedding. Also, she wanted her to choose a dress that downplayed her pregnancy as much as possible.

I was just so aggravated, I spoke to my friend to see if he could reason with her. He told me to just play ball on this one, it’s her day and to cut him a break, because he’d be dealing with her nonsense for the rest of his life. I was annoyed but calmed down.

The day of, all the bride and my buddy do is scold me, berate me and bark orders. I head down to the bar for the a drink…the bride’s mother is there and warns me not to get drunk because I’ve ruined her daughter’s day enough. Final straw.

I didn’t give them the card with the cash and in the speech, I used my friend’s exact wording about having to deal with her nonsense for the rest of his life. I wished them the best and told him I’d always be there for him, especially during the divorce. AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

CuriousTsukihime −  ESH- here’s why: 1. Groom knew he was marrying a piece of work and instead of protecting his interests he cosigned, aided, and abetted his wife’s atrocious behavior. 2. His wife sucks for trying to regulate your wife’s body, for allowing her insecurities to cloud her judgement, and being the very definition of a bridezilla.

3. You, for not taking the high road and waiting until the very last min to defend your wife’s honor. Look dude, you were totally justified, but you also had ample opportunity to jump off the crazy train before it got this far. Being a good friend means having the comfortability and latitude to say no when your friends are off the rails.

You waited until the last min and let your emotions get the better of you. Your wife deserved better from these people and from you in this moment.. P.S. Get new friends, these people s**k HARD. CORE.

EDIT: Omg y’all thank you for the awards 🥰😭 EDIT 2: I’m trying to respond to all these awards and thank y’all- it’s way too kind 😭 EDIT 3: This has come up a couple of times so I’ll explain here:

ESH- Everyone Sucks Here. This judgement is given when no one involved is innocent and all have contributed to the predicament that brought OP here in the first place. I hope this helps!

talkmemetome −  ESH. But listen.. You are my hero. Also be aware that your friendship might be over if not for any other reason than that the new wifey will make it so.. EDIT: Oh. My. God. This certainly blew up! Thank you for the awards and upvotes, I literally thought my phone was broken when I woke up and saw all of the notifications. Never thought it would happen to me ♥️

poodle_kitten −  From the title alone, I was prepared to think you were the AH…through the bridezilla bits I was thinking yikes, they are the AH…and by the time I got to the end I was a firm ESH. I don’t blame you for not giving the card. They treated you horribly and did not deserve the generous gift you were prepared to give.

But I think being “honest” in the speech took it too far. You would have been better off just cutting it super short (“words can’t even describe these two…so let’s raise a glass” the end).

I don’t think your speech was too much because of how it impacted *them* but because of their families. Maybe their families s**k as much as them (they had to get their ridiculous entitlement somewhere), but I’d be horrified to witness a best man speech like you described if I were a guest at a wedding.

SuitableVirus8 −  ESH. YTA because you aired your dirty laundry in public. That is completely tactless. You should have simply refused to do a public toast. Don’t say anything at all if you can’t say anything nice and whatnot.

Bridezilla sucks for obvious reasons. Groom also sucks for not putting a stop to bridezilla antics.

[Reddit User] −  ESH. Two assholes don’t make zero assholes. They just make two assholes. Your buddy’s wife is a pretty obvious bridezilla. Your buddy is taking a cynical view of his bride and marriage, and he aided and abetted her attitude toward you.

But you were an a**hole, too. Piling up all this crap in a speech and dropping it like a bomb on the reception might be satisfying, but it also embarrassed both your buddy and his wife and it likely ruined the day for everyone else.

If you thought the wife was unbearable, it would have been a fair ball for you to withdraw from the ceremony, stand up for yourself and your wife, and even to have a heart to heart talk with your friend where you tell him this lady is no good. But the key to all of that is you keep the feud private, and you don’t make a spectacle of yourself. Taking this all to the party was an a**hole move.

Sad-Combination-7356 −  … I’m so torn between ESH and NTA… Like did you need to say what you did? No. Did they need to treat you like garbage? Super no. But the more I think on it the more I’ll say…. NTA. You probably could have had more tact and just walk away but they never gave you a reason to JUST walk away.

karskipellis −  ESH: Bride and her mom for obvious reasons. Groom for not standing up for you, snapping at you, and for his remark about putting up with her nonsense for the rest of his life.

You for making a scene at the wedding. “We’ve been best friends for years, I love you like a brother. I’ll always be here for you, come what may. I am o**rwhelmed with your devotion to your wife, and your dedication to making her happy. To the bride and groom!” (raise glass) That’s it. That’s all you had to say.

be-incredible −  Eh, your speech was probably inappropriate, but I’m going to say NTA based on all the horrible crap they did to you. I also don’t understand the thinking of “it’s the brides day.” No it’s not, you’re both getting married, it’s just as much of an important day for the groom as it is for the bride.

But, it doesn’t have to be all this demanding s**t that some people pull with their weddings. It’s supposed to be a celebration, and that type of s**t just turns it into drama and makes everyone involved miserable.

CJHarts −  Info: did you mention divorce in your speech?

thekelsey21 −  Ugh, okay. ESH. Her for her BS demands. You, for causing a scene you did not need to. He’s your friend and you just caused s**t for him too

Was the Redditor justified in using the speech to vent their frustrations, or did they go too far? How would you handle such a situation as the best man? Share your thoughts below!