AITA? Sister in law kicked us out after helping her?
OP and their wife selflessly moved into SIL’s home, renting out their own, to help manage her chaotic life as a single mom and corporate president. Promised renovations to create a functional living space never materialized, and after months of unpaid labor (childcare, housekeeping, dog care), they announced plans to leave. SIL retaliated by evicting them via text, gaslighting them about their contributions, and severing their bond with her kids. Now, OP refuses to reconcile, while their wife seeks peace for the children’s sake.
‘ AITA? Sister in law kicked us out after helping her?’
Expert Opinions
The Dynamics of Familial Exploitation:
Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, explains: “Narcissistic family members often exploit ‘helpers’ by framing their labor as a ‘favor,’ then dismissing their contributions. SIL’s gaslighting is textbook manipulation.”
Legal Implications of Illegal Eviction:
Tenant rights lawyer Mark Silverthorn notes: “In most jurisdictions, SIL’s abrupt eviction violates laws requiring 30-60 days’ notice. OP could sue for damages, especially given their financial losses from renting out their home.”
Marital Strain and Boundary-Setting:
Relationship coach Dr. Tammy Nelson advises: “OP’s wife must prioritize her marriage over her sister’s demands. SIL’s behavior isn’t just toxic—it’s a threat to their union. Couples therapy is critical to align their priorities.”
Solutions from Experts:
- Legal Action: Consult a lawyer regarding tenant rights and compensation for unpaid labor.
- Therapy: Individual counseling for OP to process betrayal; couples therapy to bridge the gap with their wife.
- Boundaries: Wife must establish terms for seeing the kids (e.g., supervised visits outside SIL’s home).
Heres the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with OP, labeling the SIL a “toxic liar” and urging legal recourse. Critics questioned missing details but conceded SIL’s actions were indefensible. A minority empathized with the wife’s desire to see the kids but stressed: “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”
This isn’t a simple family spat—it’s a case of systemic exploitation. SIL’s entitlement, dishonesty, and refusal to acknowledge OP’s sacrifices reveal a profound lack of respect. While the wife’s hope for reconciliation is understandable, rebuilding trust with SIL is neither safe nor advisable without accountability.