AITA refusing to ban alcohol from Christmas?
A Reddit user faced a family conflict when their brother’s new girlfriend, Jenny, requested a ban on alcohol during Christmas to accommodate her children’s strict rules. The user, who hosts large cultural and family gatherings during the holidays, refused, citing the importance of their family traditions and the impracticality of altering them for guests they barely know.
The situation escalated as the user was also asked to enforce Santa and Elf on the Shelf beliefs, clashing with their children’s understanding of Christmas. Read the full story below for the details.
‘ AITA refusing to ban alcohol from Christmas?’
Expert Opinion
Navigating Family Dynamics in Blended Celebrations
Blending families during holidays is rarely seamless. Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist specializing in family relationships, notes, “New partners often enter established family systems with their own traditions, creating friction. The key is negotiation, not ultimatums.” A 2022 Pew Research study found that 43% of U.S. adults in blended families report tension around holiday customs, often rooted in unresolved cultural or parenting differences.
Alcohol and Social Rituals
The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) highlights that moderate drinking at gatherings is culturally normative in many communities, including Mexican-American festivities. Demanding a dry event without consensus, says Dr. Coleman, risks alienating the host and guests. “Guests can express preferences, but hosts retain autonomy. Compromise might involve designated alcohol-free zones or timed activities.”
Santa and Cultural Identity
The Santa debate taps into deeper issues of cultural preservation. Dr. Emily Edlynn, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes, “For bicultural families, traditions like Santa or religious figures (e.g., Baby Jesus in Mexican Catholicism) are identity markers. Forcing conformity can erase cultural pride.” She advises transparent conversations with children: “Explain that different families have different beliefs—a lesson in empathy.”
A Path Forward
Experts suggest the host offer alternatives: a smaller, alcohol-free gathering with Jenny’s family post-Christmas or a “Santa compromise” where kids agree to avoid debunking myths. As Dr. Edlynn writes in Psychology Today, “Flexibility preserves relationships, but boundaries protect traditions.”
See what others had to share with OP:
Community Opinion
Reddit’s top comments overwhelmingly side with the host: “NTA. Your house, your rules.” Users critique Jenny’s entitlement, arguing newcomers shouldn’t dictate terms. Some, like u/Yikes44, suggest practical fixes: “Let kids play along with Santa—they’ll love it!” Others, like u/anglflw, dismiss Jenny’s alcohol concerns: “Her kids won’t die seeing adults drink.”
This narrative highlights the challenges that can arise when inheritance and family dynamics intersect. It prompts reflection on how we might handle similar situations, balancing respect for personal boundaries with compassion for family members. What would you do in her position? How can families navigate such conflicts while preserving relationships?
NTA. There are two proplems with this whole thing. Being asked to accomadate one person over everyone else and your mother picking a side. Your brother must be your mothers favorite.
NTA. I would tell her she’s not invited because of her demands, That’s more polite if someone decided to impose their” rules in my house. I would of slammed the door in her face. Being a senior citizen, I don’t have patience or a filter for such nonsense.