AITA refusing to ban alcohol from Christmas?

A Reddit user faced a family conflict when their brother’s new girlfriend, Jenny, requested a ban on alcohol during Christmas to accommodate her children’s strict rules. The user, who hosts large cultural and family gatherings during the holidays, refused, citing the importance of their family traditions and the impracticality of altering them for guests they barely know. The situation escalated as the user was also asked to enforce Santa and Elf on the Shelf beliefs, clashing with their children’s understanding of Christmas. Read the full story below for the details.

‘ AITA refusing to ban alcohol from Christmas?’

We have a large mix family. My wife is Mexican so her family starts dropping in on Christmas Eve and we host them and my family Christmas day for dinner. It could be over 50 people in and out of our house in those two days. There’s lots of mixing of cultures because who doesn’t want tequila and tamales. I’m often gifted drinks and my wife likes wine.

My older brother Mike started dating this new woman who has children. I’ll call her Jenny. Jenny wants to bring her 3 children that I have only met briefly over the summer. But she said her children are not allowed around people who drink.

So now Mike wants me to ban all alcohol at Christmas from my house. My mother backs him up saying it’s unnecessary to have all those people around children even though I have 2 of my own and my children love the loud bustling house at Christmas and playing with their cousins. These no other children on my side of the family so Jenny’s children “like my family” and need to adjust my holiday to make Jenny and them feel welcome.

Another issue I was told to talk about my kids is Santa. Santa wasn’t really a thing in my wife’s culture so we did away with it before my wife felt like the whole naughty and nice thing with Santa doesn’t go with her Mexican Catholic roots so Santa is more of symbol of Christmas for my children and the cousins.

I understand that Jenny is really into Santa and Elf on the Shelf. My children are 5 & 8 and Jenny’s are 4-10 and I don’t know how my children or their cousins would react to all of that if it was brought up. I said maybe next year maybe my mom could host our family’s Christmas or my brother and Jenny could (if they are still together) but I don’t feel like setting rules in my house about tequila and making kids pretend Santa and elf on the self is real or talk to their cousins about it. It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen so I think Jenny and her kids should stay at home.

See what others had to share with OP:

Successful_Activity8 −  NTA. It’s your house and therefore your party. If this woman doesn’t like that she can either stay home or find a babysitter and have fun for the first time in her life.

StAlvis −  NTA. Jenny is a hanger-on at best here and does not get to dictate shit. The whole naughty and nice thing with Santa doesn’t go with her Mexican Catholic roots. I could not care less about Santa but I’m very curious about her thinking here, as I was raised Catholic and it was ALL ABOUT constantly reminding people that they’re naughty.

Artistic_Thought7309 −  Jenny seems high maintenance and reeking of entitlement. Her priority, as a newcomer to this large family , should be to get to know others, insert herself and her children into what seems a wonderfully blended group of adults and children. Her approach is hostile, rude, impolite, oblivious to othes, self centered; she is setting conditions to people she does not know.

I commend your brother for being so accommodating to a woman he has ben dating since not long ago, but mi casa is no Jenny’s casa. Jenny can opt for celebrating Christmas in the abstinence of her home and thus protect her children from (oh the horror) adults celebrating a centuries old tradition, in the presence of their children, united by love, tolerance, curiosity to know one another.. NTA and stand your ground.

Born_Significance691 −  If Jenny’s children aren’t allowed to be around people who drink alcohol, she can easily solve the problem by not coming to your house for Christmas. Your brother and mother can host their own Jenny-approved event.

Your celebration sounds very similar to how my Eastern European family celebrated Christmas. Lots of good food, brandy, wine, cookies! Sure some people got a little drunk, but it was part of the experience. Like you, Santa was not recognized in our home. Baby Jesus and the angels brought our gifts. St. Nicholas, not Santa, visited on December 6th to leave little treats in our shoes. . NTA!!!!!!

ArtShapiro −  NTA. It is not a guest’s prerogative to dictate what a host does or does not serve when hosting an event. Period.

Yikes44 −  NTA. It’s completely unreasonable of her to dictate that you can’t drink alcohol in the house if you have 50+ other people popping in for drinks and food, or maybe she just doesn’t realise what the vibe is going to be. That’s just what happens at Christmas so she’ll need to make an exception or come and visit another time when it’s just you and them. As for Santa, tell your kids that her kids believe in Santa and ask them if they’d be OK with playing along. They’ll probably love to do that.

TogarashiAhi −  Can I come in Jenny’s place? Sounds like a blast!

Weary_Panic6498 −  NTA. Jenny should definitely enjoy her Christmas traditions with her family at home. Maybe they can stop by for a few minutes, but guests don’t dictate the nature of holiday celebrations for their hosts.

anglflw −  NTA. But Jenny’s kids aren’t going to die seeing adults enjoy tequila.

kick_him −  Nta…..but, why does your mom think it’s unnecessary to have all those people around children? Are children meant to be secluded or are the Mexicans too much for her liking? I’m Mexican, so I know how we get on Christmas eve, but we are not a threat to children. Wth. She obviously has an issue with your inlaws and using the children as an excuse.