AITA – Raising my 2yo brother?

A 21-year-old college student is grappling with her decision to move out after her single mother asked her to take on significant responsibilities for her 2-year-old half-brother. Despite loving her little brother, she feels unprepared to step into a parental role while juggling school and work. Her decision to move out has caused tension, with her mom accusing her of being selfish and abandoning the family. Read her story below.

‘ AITA – Raising my 2yo brother?’

AITA for moving out when my mom told me I should help raise my 2-year-old half-brother? Hey Reddit, I’m (21F) and currently a junior in college, working part-time, and living at home to save on rent. My mom (42) is a single parent who ended up with a surprise baby a couple years ago. I don’t have any biological siblings myself, so this little guy is my first “sibling” experience.

Recently, my mom sat me down and said that with everything going on, she really needs “more hands on deck” with the baby. She asked if I could start taking on a lot more responsibilities with him, like picking him up from daycare, helping with meals, and basically being a live-in babysitter.

I told her that I already have a busy schedule with work and classes, and while I love my little brother, I’m not in a position to take on the role of a second parent. She seemed really hurt and said things like, “But family steps up for each other,” and that since I’m the only other “adult in the house,” it’s only fair I pull my weight.

After a lot of thought (and a little heartbreak), I decided to move out. I can afford a small apartment with a couple of roommates, but obviously, money is going to be a lot tighter now. When I told her, she got really upset, saying I was “abandoning” the family when they needed me and that I’m being selfish.

I’m torn because I feel bad about leaving my mom in a tough spot as she’s always worked so hard to provide me the most, but I also feel like I didn’t sign up to be a co-parent and staying at home will really hinder my future. AITA for moving out?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Nervous_Security_714 −  NTA. You’re just starting your adult life. School is an important step in preparing for that. It’s an investment in yourself, that should be a top priority. If you stay at home, it’s a slippery slope to where being the parent overtakes everything else. Moving out sets boundaries. Can you babysit sometimes? Sure, if your schedule allows it. But if you’re at home, you’ll have a harder time saying no, and the expectations on you will be higher.

rigbysgirl13 −  NTA. Where is this child’s father? Where is the child support which would allow your mom to hire help? This child is not your responsibility and you are already “pulling your weight”. Your mom made the choice to have this child and it is for her to figure it out.. DO NOT QUIT SCHOOL

CoverCharacter8179 −  Total NTA, I think the phrase applied here is “her poor planning is not your emergency,” and also that in these stories, “family steps up for each other” is generally said by the person who’s making unreasonable demands and trying to take advantage of the writer.

mdthomas −  I told her… while I love my little brother, I’m not in a position to take on the role of a second parent.. Absolutely correct. She should be asking this of the father of the child.. NTA

Worth-Season3645 −  NTA…Helping out is one thing, Co-parenting is another. Where is the child’s father? Why is he not co-parenting?

Away_Refuse8493 −  NTA. I feel bad for your brother, but your mom should look to see if she qualifies for income-based day care vouchers, etc. She shouldn’t have laid a guilt trip on you, b/c this is 100% not your responsibility. If you wanted and were available to help with your brother, AT YOUR CONVENIENCE & WHEN AVAILABLE, that would be at your discretion, but she forced your hand.

SushiGuacDNA −  NTA. Please don’t feel guilty **at all**. Here’s the thing. It is a parent’s job to launch their adult children into their own grown-up life. That is the definition of success. But your Mom is trying to hold you back. And it’s not like she asked you to “help a little”, since you are around.

She’s asking you to stick at home to raise **her** child, and she’s doing it in a way that will most likely damage your launch. It sounds like your Mom has been making bad choices, but don’t let her bad choices mess up your life.. Be brave and march into the world!

Financial_Bear_5071 −  NTA. Your mums inability to practice safe s** at 40 years old isn’t your responsibility.

dncrmom −  Your mother did not get pregnant by immaculate conception. Your brother has a father. He needs to step up & care for his son. Your mother can go after child support. This is not your responsibility. NTA

Lunar-Eclipse0204 −  NTA – You are not the parent of your sibling, therefore aren’t responsible for things like daycare pick up, meals etc.. You are doing the right thing for yourself, which is who you need to prioritize. Your mom needs to get the father involved!

Do you think the daughter is justified in setting boundaries and prioritizing her education and independence, or should she have stayed to help her family? How would you handle being asked to take on such a big role for a sibling? Share your thoughts below!