AITA – photography is my hobby, but my boyfriend has sudden interest in when we are on expensive once in a lifetime trips and hogs the camera?
A Redditor, an avid hobby photographer, is facing conflict with her boyfriend over a shared camera. Although he bought the camera for them as a couple, he never uses it—except on rare, expensive trips where he suddenly insists on taking photos himself, despite having little experience.
This often leads to tension, as the user feels it disrupts her enjoyment of photographing wildlife, one of her passions. With an upcoming safari, she tried to set boundaries, proposing that as the primary photographer and the one renting a specialized lens, she should primarily use the camera.
However, her boyfriend disagrees, saying they should “share.” Read the full story below to see whether her reluctance to share the camera is fair or unreasonable.
‘ AITA – photography is my hobby, but my boyfriend has sudden interest in when we are on expensive once in a lifetime trips and hogs the camera ?’
I (29F) am a hobby photographer. I am not great, but have a nice camera body and have been taking photos consistently for about 4 years. My main focus is my dog, but I am also a hobby birder and really love attempting to capture birds and animals especially.
My boyfriend (32M) technically purchased the camera body for us as a couple to use. I did not pay for the camera body at all. It was a significant purchase, but it was several years ago and he makes a lot of money at his job. Despite the purchase, he has never once independently used the camera.
He seemingly has no interest in photography. He never has any issue with my use of the camera and typically supports my photography.
Except when we are on very nice vacations. For example, last year we were on a bird tour in Canada and I was super excited to photograph Puffins.
On the tour, out of nowhere, he demanded to use the camera. I was really upset but figured I should let him try since it is technically his camera. Of course, he doesn’t ever use a camera or have experience so he didn’t know what he was doing and didn’t get any good photos.
I tried to ask for it back because I was so excited, and we got in a fight. He wanted to keep trying to take photos and ended up using the camera during really special once in a lifetime moments like when an eagle flew by extremely close to us. Fast forward to present.
We are going on a big safari trip in August. In an attempt to prevent another fight, I brought up this issue preemptively. I said since I am the primary photographer and I am the one renting a very expensive telephoto lens for the trip, I should be the one taking photos.
He got upset and said he doesn’t understand why we can’t share. I really don’t understand why he even wants to use the camera if he doesn’t ever touch it normally.
This is a huge trip, that I planned and am the reason we are going on, and I am worried he’s going to ruin it by hogging the camera. AITA for being unwilling to share, even though it’s technically his camera?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Timely_Egg_6827 − I think you need to buy your own camera body or hire one with the lenses and yes, i know the cost. Or get him a decent bridge camera.
He’s being unfair. If you have someone with good skills, you use them when it is important. But think he wants the “glory” of being the star when everyone is taking photos – the man with the expensive lenses. So you may get pushback even if hire equipment on own.
PuzzleheadedRoyal559 − ESH. If you can afford to go on safari, you can afford another camera.
Infinite_Narwhal_731 − I am hearing you all: I need to buy my own camera and shut up. Thank you!
Skull_Bearer_ − ESH both of you get your own cameras if you can’t share.
abrequevoy − Have you considered that maybe from his point of view you’re the one “hogging the camera” all year round? You mentioned he makes good money, maybe he works long hours and already has a couple other hobbies on the side,
so he normally doesn’t have that much time to dedicate to photography, outside of vacations. If you use the camera during vacation + during the rest of the year and end up being the only user, then “technically” as you like to say, it’s just a really nice gift from your boyfriend to you.
It also sounds like throughout your post you’re downplaying any interest or skills he might have – if he really had no interest in photography, would he really spend thousands of dollars on a camera? Of course we cannot be the judge of that but soft YTA for the bias you display in your post.
applebum8807 − ESH. Frankly this is kind of childish on both sides. Grown ass adults should be able to either share the damn camera or have separate ones.
DubiousPeoplePleaser − It doesn’t really matter that you are the hobby photographer. It was meant to be shared and so you can’t h** it and neither should he. I initially wondered if this was a question of him not letting you use the camera and not sharing, but rereading you post and you come off as really entitled.
An eagle flew by and you are mad that you were not the one holding the camera at that very specific, unplanned moment, and basically saying that you should be the one using the camera all the time to ensure that every moment is captured to your standard every time. Get over yourself.
There is only two solutions to your problem. The first is that you buy your own camera. The second is that the camera is sold and you can both go back to using your phones. YTA
30yrs2l8 − If you can afford “expensive once in a life time trips” you can afford another camera.
Open-Incident-3601 − YTA. Buy your own camera. You are demanding exclusive use of something that you don’t own.
Zestyclose_Gur_8889 − I think you should buy your own camera. He’s going to h** it, and you know it. If you have your own, you’ll have nothing to fight about.
Do you think the Reddit user’s request to primarily use the camera on the trip is justified, given her passion and experience? How would you approach balancing personal interests with a partner’s in shared hobbies? Share your thoughts in the comments below!