AITA: My sister is having my dad’s side piece in her wedding and I told her thats wrong?’

A woman is deeply upset that her sister plans to make “Emily” — their dad’s longtime mistress, who also has his child — the matron of honor in her wedding. Their father’s infidelity has hurt their family, especially their mother, and the poster worries about the pain and tension Emily’s presence will bring.

Despite their protests, her sister is set on having Emily there, seeing her as a “second mom.” read the original story below…

‘ AITA: My sister is having my dad’s side piece in her wedding and I told her thats wrong?’

I’ll try to keep this sort of story shirt but essentially the “close family friend”, we’ll call her Emily, that my father has a child with and has been cheating on my mom with for the last 15 years is going to be the matron of honor in my sister’s wedding next fall.

Our family met Emily back in 2009 when she and my mom were pregnant at the same time. Shes about ten years or so younger than my parents. I hated her all through my childhood cause i felt like there was something fishy about how close she was with my dad.

My dad went out to Cali a few times while I was stationed there for work a few years back but only to visit Emily who lived about seven hours away from where I was. Even though he was out there once when it was my birthday, Emily stopped him from coming up to see me cause she had already “made plans” for my dad’s visit.

This mad my mom mad as hell and absolutely crushed me. I talked to my mom finally a few years ago and she told me that while yes she was ok with the open marriage concept at first she quickly changed her mind and told Emily and my dad to stop and they just continued and blatantly disrespected my mom.

So my mom cut her off from our family for a few years but then magically my dad brought her back into our lives and sent her on a cruise with our mom and a year later knocked her up while. I think my mom doesn’t want to fight just to keep the peace since my two younger sisters still live at home.

Her and my dad are high-school sweethearts and when we were kids we knew that they loved each other so I cant fathom how my dad can live with himself doing all of these things to her. I asked her why she kept letting this go on and she just said that shes gone numb to the pain.

That was the first time I ever heard my mother cry. Everyone in my extended family knows what my dad did and absolutely despise Emily, but my sister just isn’t bothered having her there and in the wedding party.

Both my mother and I talked to my sister and explained that while we are so happy to be part of her wedding and support her in her big day, shes crazy if she thinks that there won’t be tensions. She essentially just told us “well mom was ok with it at first so I don’t see how Emily and dad are doing anything wrong”.

Ofc i then had to break down the concept of consent to her. she still calls Emily “mom #2”.  My parents are still married and Emily is still married to her husband. Emily not stepping away from my family when my mother first told her to stop yknow f**king her husband is the part that my older sister just isn’t grasping.

I know this is also completely on my father as well, I had to cut contact with him for a few years over it. My sister having Emily near our family again is going to tear open so many wounds for a lot of people. AITA for trying to open her eyes to how wrong this is?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

corgihuntress −  Honestly I’m surprised your mom is staying with your dad. I’m surprised your sister is so callous. I’m surprised your mom is going to attend. I’m surprised you will. You certainly aren’t the a**hole, but your dad, Emily, and your sister is, but mostly your dad and emily. I cannot believe she asked her to be the maid of honor. Wow. NTA

JTBlakeinNYC −  NTA. I feel for your mother, but I can’t see a way to solve this. You can only persuade someone to cease hurtful behavior on the grounds of the pain they are inflicting upon others if the person in question has a conscience, which neither your sister nor father seem to possess.

Mouthy_Dumptruck −  Nta.. Your sister has chosen Emily. She probably perceives your mother behavior as weakness and cowardly. She’s also been raised by your s**tty father, so she’s unfortunately going to share some of his perspective. She’s trying to hurt your mother for being so weak.

She’s chosen her side, yall need to move on. Don’t go to the wedding. Your mom will be miserable. You will be trying to control things that can’t be controlled. Yall should go on vacation somewhere during the wedding. And obtain a divorce for your mother.

Grump_NP −  NTA. I actually agree with not shunning someone because they did something like cheating. People are more than the worst thing they have done. But…. Your sister having her as her matron of honor in her wedding is too much. That’s a slap in the face to your mother and way out of line.

Do you really want to start your marriage by having someone that did that in a place of honor in your wedding party? Not boding well for your sister’s marriage. If your sister thought this was a good idea I don’t think she is going to listen to you. You can’t reason with someone who would think this is ok. 

ComprehensiveSet927 −  If your mother doesn’t want to be around Emily, why did she go on a cruise with her?

Ducky818 −  You’ve told your sister how you feel and that you believe it is wrong. Now you have to let her decide. You’ve done your part. It is your choice to attend or not but not about whom your sister gets to include in her wedding.

Spiritual-Concert363 −  Why are you and your mother going to the wedding? I just would say dear, it’s your day invite who you like. Unfortunately I can not abide attending with her there. God Bless I love you. Then you and your mother be together that day.

Don’t either one of you have backbones? No wonder Emily and your father get away with this. There’s no consequences. Grow some ovaries. Quit whining about the situation.

Left_Pear4817 −  What in the land of all that is holy. Your sister is literally mad 🫠 I hope it kicks off at the wedding and your entire family whoop Emily and your Dads ass back to the stone age

Moon-Queen95 −  I really don’t understand why tf they haven’t gotten divorced. He’s clearly in love with someone else. I’m also confused about how much Emily has been allowed in the lives of these kids. And this whole timeline is confusing. If sister calls her mom #2, it seems like she’s been pretty heavily involved in her life.

It’s on the adults to be adults. If they let a child (sister) grow up attached to her, they don’t have room to be angry that she still loves her. But yeah… The timeline on this is incomprehensible.

They met 15 years ago when both women were pregnant, at some point the marriage was “open”, mom changed her mind and cut out Emily, dad brought back Emily, Emily and mom went on a cruise, Emily got pregnant from dad… The lack of ages on anyone doesn’t help make this less confusing.

Consistent-Ad3191 −  I would cut ties with your father, his mistress and anybody else that enables it it’s very disrespectful for your sister to do that to your mother, and I wouldn’t even attend the wedding and neither should your mother. I don’t care who feelings are hurt. They’re not worried about her feelings, your mother.

Is she right to raise her concerns, or should she respect her sister’s wishes? Share your thoughts!