AITA: My (53F) SO (63M) was too impatient to wait for the clothes washer to finish its cycle, so his clothes got stinky from mildew, and I folded them and put them away for him to wear all stinky?

A woman (53F) and her partner (63M) clashed over laundry timing while preparing their new house. Impatient and hungry, he refused to wait 10 minutes for the washer to finish, despite her warning that leaving clothes wet would lead to mildew.

He insisted she leave with him, leaving the laundry overnight. The next day, his clothes were stinky from mildew, so she dried them and put them away as-is, while rewashing her own items. Now, he regularly complains about the smell, and she smugly reminds him of her initial warning. read the original story below…

‘ AITA: My (53F) SO (63M) was too impatient to wait for the clothes washer to finish its cycle, so his clothes got stinky from mildew, and I folded them and put them away for him to wear all stinky ?’

My SO has a big problem with being impatient. We recently finished construction on a new house, so we’re currently in between two houses. We were at the new house, doing some things to get it ready to move in. So, I put a load of laundry in the washer to let it run while we worked.

We finished everything we planned to do, and there was about 10 minutes left on the wash cycle. When I told him this, he immediately got very impatient, yelled at me *for doing his laundry* while we were there, and said he wasn’t waiting 10 minutes for it to finish so I could put it in the dryer.

I told him it would get stinky from mildew if I left it in the washer overnight until we came back the next day. We had two cars there, so I told him he could leave, and I would take the other car after I put the clothes in the dryer.

He said no because he was hungry, and he wanted me to come with him so we could eat as soon as we got back to the other house (aka – he wanted me to fix him something to eat, and he didn’t want to wait 10 extra minutes).

I was tired of arguing with him, so I said fine and left with him before the wash cycle finished. The next day when we went back, guess what! The laundry was all stinky. So, this is where I might be the a**hole. I put his items in the dryer to dry and rewashed mine. T

hen, I folded his and put them away. Now, every few days, he pulls something out, puts it on, and says, “Ewww, this shirt smells bad!” I just smile, nod and say, “Yep, I told you that would happen.” AITA or was this simply malicious compliance?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

LamzyDoates −  NTA. Ten minutes to make sure the laundry can be dropped in the dryer is minimal. If you’re in between houses, there’s always something to fill that smidgin of time. But is this weird tantrum behavior typical for him? Not for nothing, but that seems like it would be hard to tolerate.

momo-76 −  NTA. While this was slightly petty on your part, it seems like you do a lot of kindred keeping (AKA the mental and emotional work women take on by doing all the planning, emotional reasoning, and house labor).

Also, you told him what would happen, and he was being impatient and unreasonable. You should try having him make a few meals a night or do his own laundry, and then maybe he will understand what it is like to be you.

Voidfishie −  Why does he get to decide you don’t spend ten extra minutes there? He’s clearly an a**hole, but if you’re at the point of this sort of pettiness I really question the choices you are making, too, to let him boss you around because he can’t fix himself a snack.

oliviamrow −  LOL, I’m sorry. He got mad at *you* for doing his laundry, because it would delay him for ten minutes…because he was unwilling to wait ten minutes because he needed *you* to fix him something to eat?

If he’s mad at you about this, sounds to me like SO just bought a ticket to doing all his own laundry *and* meal-arranging for the foreseeable future to me. NTA. Are you sure he knows you’re his SO and not his mommy?

Gilthoniel_elentari −  NTA. He (didn’t) make his bed, he can lie in (mildew). Although I do question why he’s not folding his own laundry and why he can’t eat without you/make his own food.

Pitiful-Citronel666 −  What 63 year old man acts like this….

anonymous_for_this −  he immediately got very impatient, yelled at me *for doing his laundry* while we were there. Ok, simple. He wants to be in control of his laundry. Drop the rope. Stop doing his laundry. he wanted me to fix him something to eat, and he didn’t want to wait 10 extra minutes).

I was tired of arguing with him, so I said fine and left with him before the wash cycle finished. This was a bad idea on multiple fronts. Don’t do something that you know is stupid to appease someone throwing a tantrum. It just teaches them that tantrums work. When he cooks, it’s a 3-hr minimum production.

He’s perfectly capable of cooking something quick. You aren’t the only one who can put cheese and vegemite (or condiment of choice) on toast, boil or scramble some eggs and throw them in a ramen soup.

bethsophia −  It’s definitely malicious compliance and I applaud you for it. I’d almost say E S H as leaving appliances that are heat based running while you’re out of the house is unsafe (knew someone who burned down her place with a crockpot) so you should have waited to do laundry until you were able to be there the whole time.

But that’s not what you’re asking about. He can wash his own clothes if he is going to get mad at you for doing it, and it was his idea to let them get smelly.. NTA

thunderbastard_ −  You’re nta but it’d proboly be better to just tell him no and enforce boundaries like that. it seems he relies on you so I don’t think he could do anything if you just made him wait. If he’s gonna act like a toddler you need to make it clear your in charge

Rendeane −  NTA. This is ridiculous. He can’t “wait” ten minutes for the laundry to finish, but does have ten minutes to throw a tantrum about not wanting to wait and needing you to fix him a snack??? Has he always behaved like a toddler or is this new?

If he has always been atrocious, WHY are you with him??? If this behavior is new, he needs a thorough medical exam and a CT/MRI scan for brain injury.