AITA if I’m refusing to let my husband kick our dog out of the bed?

A 31-year-old woman is refusing to let her husband kick their 8-year-old dog out of their bed. Despite her husband’s concerns about potential damage to their new mattress, she feels that he’s not considering her emotional connection to the dog, who has been by her side through significant life changes.

She believes it’s unfair to change a routine that the dog has known for his entire life. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA if I’m refusing to let my husband kick our dog out of the bed?’

My (31F) husband (30M) and I have been married for 1 year and living together almost 5 years. He’s not a big dog guy, but has accepted my dog into his life. My dog is 8 years old and I’ve had him since he was a puppy. He’s seen me through many life changes and is honestly my heart dog.

I recognize that he is spoiled since the training he got from an early 20 something girl wasn’t top of the line. I have always allowed him on furniture to cuddle with and he’s slept in bed with me almost every night of our 8 years together. We recently purchased a top of the line bed and are very excited about it.

He expressed concern about the dog on the bed and I assured him that with a mattress protector and regular nail trims, everything will be fine. My dog has never been destructive, so his concerns are around accidents.

The conversation was brought up again tonight about how he still doesn’t feel comfortable with the dog on the bed and that if anything happens he’ll have no choice but to be mad at me.

I can’t help but feel he’s placing a lot of emotional weight in material things and not considering my feelings of comfort having my pup next to me or considering that this is not a fair change in a routine the dog has known his whole life. AITA for putting my foot down and potentially straining my relationship?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Mamainthenorth −  YTA. I’d be upset too if I bought a very expensive mattress & my husband wanted to let a dog shed, lick, pee & whatever else on it. You don’t NEED to sleep with your dog.

[Reddit User] −  YTA. The bed is just as much his as yours, meaning both of you should agree to having the dog there, not just you selfishly imposing on his good nature. If I were the husband and you insisted, I’d sleep elsewhere permanently. Obviously you value the dog and what you want more than your husband.

[Reddit User] −  Sounds like there’s zero boundaries for your dog. It’s your husband’s bed as well. He has a say in his own sleeping arrangements.. YTA.

[Reddit User] −  It sounds more like he just doesn’t want to sleep with a dog on his bed at all and he was just trying to compromise. Personally I wouldn’t want any animal on my bed either.

HeadOfHarlots −  NTA based on OP’s response.. INFO. Does your dog have a history of having accidents while sleeping in bed with you? Edit: I understand him not wanting the dog on the bed because it’s new but your perspective is spot on here. He cares more about the mattress than about your dog or how you feel.

If he’s been sleeping with you for 8 years and you’ve slept fine with all 3 of you in bed thus far, he really doesn’t have a leg to stand on. He knew going into this relationship that you have a dog and he sleeps in the bed. If it was a deal breaker it would’ve broken the deal already.

Hystadvice −  NAH I personally hate dogs in beds/on furniture. To me it’s gross, they have their own beds. But if that’s the way it’s always been in your house you shouldn’t be expected to change it.

[Reddit User] −  Look, it basically comes down to the rules of consent… he consented to having your dog in the bed, but he can withdraw that consent at any time and he’s perfectly within his rights to do so.

Now you could choose to sleep on another bed with your dog instead or you could make other arrangements for your dog, for example a bed next to your side of the bed.

I let my older dog sleep on the bed with my husband and I but I must admit, it’s a disturbed sleep and having a dog in the bed does impact on sleep. Your husband is well within his rights to want to have a bed as a pet free zone.

MerelyWhelmed1 −  NTA. A mattress protector will keep anything from getting wrecked. It seems like he’s setting up a situation where he gets to yell and be mad, since he knew when you got married the dog slept in the bed with you. Also, since the dog has slept with you for 8 years, he will think he did something wrong if he’s banished now.

SnooChipmunks770 −  NTA. Yeah, people can change their minds, but also this was the set up for the last 8 years. He should’ve waited for the new bed until after the current dog dies or just deal with it until he does. He knew when purchasing the new bed you’d want the dog on.

It’s not as though you two bought the bed and then pulled a bait and switch on him. He knew this is what would happen and if he bought a new bed. 

Is she being unreasonable by prioritizing her bond with her dog over her husband’s concerns? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!