AITA if I tell my fiancé I don’t want to continue to live and pay the mortgage of a house they bought?

A Redditor grapples with her feelings about living in a house purchased by her fiancé and his ex. Despite her desire for a shared home, the ongoing financial strain and lack of ownership in the current situation leave her frustrated. After discovering that they’ve been served with a pre-foreclosure notice due to the ex’s failure to pay the mortgage, she questions whether she should continue living there and supporting the mortgage. Read the original story below to see how she confronts this challenging situation.

‘ AITA if I tell my fiancé I don’t want to continue to live and pay the mortgage of a house they bought?’

Bear with me this is a lot. I (42F) moved in with my fiance (46M) into a home him and his ex bought together. I have always told him that this is temporary for us because I want us to buy a home together. The house is only in her name but we pay the mortgage payments.

He made a written agreement with her that he will get the house after it’s paid for. This came up because he was giving her the money to pay the mortgage and one day we were served with pre foreclosure notice. In essence she wasn’t paying. So the house had to be refinanced which extended the mortgage by years and also raised the mortgage 400 dollars.

I was pissed! He decided we should take on the extra 400. Now we are paying the 2200 mortgage and she is reaping the benefits of her credit being brought back up. I have no ties to it and won’t get anything out of it because they have control. So AITA for stating I’m going to move forward with buying my own house and he can deal with that?

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

celticmusebooks −  **He made a written agreement with her that he will get the house after it’s paid for.** Have you actually seen this agreement? Is it an actually LEGAL document? This whole deal sounds extremely sketchy. I’m not even thinking about your discomfort about living in a home they shared but you’re paying HUGE mortgage payments toward a home that would possibly end up belonging to the ex.. Whose name is on the mortgage?

MrsNobodyspecial67 −  NTA and unless there is a contract that states he owns the house when it is paid off there is nothing that stops her from saying hey you paid rent and I own the house. I would walk away from that situation and definitely buy your own house. If he wants to come with you and pay you rent each month great for him and you.

Why can’t he finance the home in his name? He could just buy the house from her and make the payments on his own mortgage. And FYI you can’t just refinance a mortgage if it is in foreclosure. It has to be paid up in full to move forward at all. You can’t refinance a home that is behind in payments, then you have to prove you can make the payments to qualify.. something is stinky here..

PenelopeShoots −  He shouldn’t make payments on a house he only gets AFTER it’s paid for… she should sell it to him now and he can get his own mortgage in his name. I wouldn’t pay for a house in HER name or HIS name, but only for a house in MY name.

NTA. He’s being played (and you are too). There is NO reason he can’t assume the title/mortgage in his name and get a mortgage to pay her in full now. Her not paying on the house means she’s not keeping up her end of the agreement (she is taking the money and doesn’t care if he ends up with nothing, despite the agreement).

No-Names-Left-Here −  The house is only in her name but we pay the mortgage payments. Why the hell did you agree to this to begin with? You need to leave this house now! Don’t pay another cent on it. NTA but that is the least of your issues.

ScrevyRevington −  INFO: is this the same “ex” that is always at the family functions from your previous post?!

RyTex73 −  NTA – but this is very strange… When I divorced, the house went to me and she was completely removed from the paperwork and deed to the house. It was solely in my name after the divorce was finalized. I find this situation highly irregular. Are you sure this home is now fully his? It does not sound d that way at all. I would ask him to see the divorce decree and associated paper work regarding the deed, etc…. Sounds very fishy

[Reddit User] −   He made a written agreement with her that he will get the house after it’s paid for. But she can cash out equity so it never happens…

plantprinses −  So you are paying for a house that you will never own, not even partly? Am I reading that right? Why would you do that? Why would your partner want you to do that? Why don’t you two buy a house together, with you two being joint owner? This is so weird. This makes no sense whatever. Not from your perspective, I mean. From his and hers, yes, because you subsidise them. I smell a r**…..

Naasofspades −  That ‘written agreement’ is not worth the paper it’s written on! No lawyer would ever, ever, ever advise someone of that arrangement. You fiancée is essentially paying rent on his ex’s house.

MeasureMe2 −  NTA. D**p this freeloader before you get more entangled. Whatever you do, do not let him be part of buying your own house. He sounds like a j**k.

Do you think the Redditor is justified in wanting to move on and buy her own home, or should she continue to support her fiancé through this situation? How would you handle being in a relationship where financial obligations to an ex complicate your plans? Share your thoughts below!