AITA if I don’t help a relative because they wasted their money buying a house for 2.8Million?

In the complex world of family finances, sometimes the choices of our relatives can leave us scratching our heads. Imagine being a hardworking teacher in the US who has managed to save up a decent nest egg—only to be constantly hounded by family members for financial help with a relative’s disastrous real estate investment.

That’s exactly where our story begins. A cousin, once close but now estranged due to past conflicts, made a fateful decision to buy a house in Shanghai for 2.8 million RMB—a decision he now deeply regrets.

As mortgage payments pile up and his loans spiral out of control, our narrator finds himself caught in a tug-of-war between family duty and financial self-preservation. Despite repeatedly warning him that this concrete box was a recipe for disaster under Chinese law, the cousin continues to face mounting debts. Now, with relatives both near and far demanding assistance, our narrator is left wondering: Will he be the asshole if he refuses to help fund a mistake he warned about from the start?

‘AITA if I don’t help a relative because they wasted their money buying a house for 2.8Million?’

When it comes to high-stakes financial decisions, sometimes common sense is the best adviser. Financial experts agree that overspending on property—especially in a market as unpredictable as Chinese real estate—can be a recipe for financial disaster. As noted by renowned financial advisor Suze Orman, “Wise money management often means avoiding investments that jeopardize your long-term financial stability.”

In our case, the cousin’s decision to invest 70% of his monthly income just to cover interest on a house he may never fully own fits this warning all too well. The financial strain is not just about numbers; it’s about the impact on family dynamics too. Our narrator, who barely manages to save enough for his own future plans like buying a new car, finds himself pressured to bail out someone whose poor decisions he foresaw.

By holding firm and refusing to fund a bad investment, he’s not only protecting his financial future but also reinforcing a valuable lesson: financial responsibility cannot be compromised by familial guilt. It’s a hard truth that sometimes, no amount of family pressure can justify bailing someone out of a mistake they made themselves.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community has had plenty to say about this financial fiasco. Many users agree that bailing out a relative who made such a reckless decision is a recipe for future headaches. One user pointedly stated, “Don’t help them? Block them. You couldn’t help even if you wanted to.” Others emphasized that the cousin’s decision was bound to backfire, noting that family money should never be used to prop up poor investments.

In the end, our narrator is faced with a classic dilemma: the pull of family loyalty versus the need for personal financial stability. By refusing to help fund his cousin’s failed investment, he is standing up for responsible money management. But is this stance enough to withstand the pressure of family expectations?

How do you balance compassion with accountability when a relative’s poor decision threatens to drag you down? We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences—what would you do if faced with a similar situation? Your insights could help others navigate the murky waters of family finance and tough decision-making.