AITA? I found out my sister is pretending to be my daughter’s mother?

A Redditor (27F) recently discovered that her sister (34F) has been posting pictures of her daughter on Facebook, claiming her as her own and using a different name for the child.

The sister also has a framed photo of herself and the daughter with “mother and daughter” written on it. Disturbed by this, the Redditor confronted her sister, banned her from seeing her daughter, and hasn’t spoken to her since.

The sister is now calling and trying to visit, while the Redditor is unsure how to move forward.
Read the full story below to learn more about how this family conflict unfolded.

‘ AITA? I found out my sister is pretending to be my daughter’s mother?’

When my (27F) fiancé and I first announced my pregnancy to my family, my sister (34F) was a little jealous, I’m assuming it’s because she was trying for a baby with her ex partner but they broke up because he was a cheat.

I gave birth to my daughter seven months ago. Her name is Kaia. When I returned to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave, my sister offered to babysit Kaia once a week which has been incredibly helpful.

Not too long ago, one of my close friends who also recently had a child approached me to tell me that my sister is in a mothers group on Facebook and she’s posting photos of Kaia and she’s calling my daughter HERS and she’s also calling her by a different name.

My friend sent me screenshots of my sister’s posts and I was completely disturbed so I spoke to my fiancé and we both decided we had to take action immediately.

I went over to my sister’s and asked her directly about what she was posting on Facebook, she did not deny it and also had no explanation. Therefore I told her that she’s banned from seeing my daughter.

My sister flipped out and said that I can’t take Kaia away from her and then called me a “selfish b!tch” and she started crying. I have NEVER seen my sister act this was before, it was alarming.

I ask her if there’s anything else I need to know because she may as well just spill everything, so she shows me a framed photo she has in her bedroom of her and my daughter and on the frame is written “mother and daughter.”

I’m not going to lie, I did call her crazy and then I left and haven’t spoken to her since, although she continues to try and come over and calls me multiple times a day.
My mind is an absolute mess. I don’t know where we go from here. AITA for how I handled the situation?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

anNonyMass −  NTA at all. You need to protect your daughter. Your sister needs some serious help. What she is doing is not healthy at all. You could try telling her that she can see your daughter only after she gets into therapy.

LRose1825 −  NTA but it sounds like your sister has some serious psychological issues and needs professional help asap. It will probably be safer for everyone to keep your daughter away from her and you may want to install a home security system as well as inform any other care givers that your sister does not have privileges regarding being around her.

This type of thing is a HUGE red flag for mental health issues. If you can, you may want to encourage her to get help.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Absolutely. Get your kid and yourself away from her.
Sounds like she has some deep, unresolved issues that only a specialist can help her with.

DetectiveGurlKudo −  NTA. GET YOUR SISTER SOME HELP. Employ your parents if they’re around to help and any other family members. Do not let your sister see your daughter. Your sister needs help, serious help.

This is the sort of thing that evolves into something worse if allowed to fester. How terrifying to find someone else, especially your family, claiming your child for themselves!! You did the right thing!!

Ragingredblue −  NTA. Protect your child. Your sister is creepy and delusional. She needs therapy. It would have only been a matter of time before she decided she is the *real* mother and tried to steal your baby.

Left to her own devices, she would intrude upon your relationship with your daughter, and undermine it. Actually naming *your* child some other name!? Wow. That is scary. I would consider a restraining order on her.

That is not normal. It isn’t loving or kind either, no matter what she claims. It’s obsessive and delusional. See if you, or someone who knows her, can get screen shots of her insane posts, as evidence.

You might need therapy too, to process this trauma. What a terrifying experience! Yikes! Also, be prepared to have your family try to demonize you for protecting your child. Do not back down. A therapist will help you do that.

**edited to add. She is showing up at your house multiple times a day to stalk your baby. Get a restraining order, yesterday. Get security cameras too, and make sure you cut off all 3rd party contact between your sister and your baby. Make sure the other caregivers know to call the police immediately if she shows up.

a2020wils −  yeah NTA …. there’s a lot to unpack here. Your reaction is understandable and I’m fully with you with not letting her see your child. This sounds like the beginning to a lifetime movie. She crossed many lines. I don’t know if bringing family into this would make it worse but your sister needs an intervention. That behavior is not okay….

riritreetop −  NTA, she needs to learn boundaries and fast. You also need to get a security system for your home, like some motion-activated cameras. People do crazy things for babies, like kidnap them. Protect your family.

gillygillyj −  NTA. I’ve struggled with fertility issues, and never once would this ever cross my mind. I’d honestly suggest some grief counseling for your sister—losing the relationship and immediate hope of having kids has clearly taken a toll.

Philosopher_1234 −  NTA. Your sister needs serious psych help. It sounds like she’s latched on to this delusion of your daughter being hers. I would be worried if she was left alone with your daughter again that she would try to kidnap her.

Current-Read −  NTA, this is some concerning behavior i would also be clearing the air on the mothers group because thats some scary stuff

Do you think the Redditor was justified in banning her sister from seeing her daughter, or should she have handled the situation differently? What would you do if you found out a close family member was pretending to be the mother of your child? Share your thoughts in the comments below!