AITA fot kicking out my daughter after she tried to send my cat to the shelter?

A Redditor recently found himself in a heated family dispute when his eldest daughter, who is pregnant and divorcing her husband, attempted to send the family cat, Leut, to a shelter. Concerned about the potential dangers of an “old grouchy” cat around a baby, the daughter took matters into her own hands without consulting her father.

After rescuing Leut from the shelter and confronting his daughter, the Redditor gave her a month to move out, arguing that she disrespected both him and his pet. Now, with his wife and younger daughter pleading for him to reconsider, the Redditor is questioning whether he was too harsh. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA fot kicking out my daughter after she tried to send my cat to the shelter?’

the relevant backstory: I have two daughters, one is 21 and in college, the other is 26 and because of a lot of factors finds herself pregnant, divorcing her husband and needing to live in our house for the foreseeable future and I am happily married to their mother. The other notable character is my cat Lieutenant (we call her Leut).

I found Leut in a dumpster almost ten years ago when she was only a week old, got her to the vet and she has been my best buddy for the last decade. She is now my grumpy old little shadow whenever i’m home.. ​

so yesterday I came home from work and I hear my eldest daughter calling me from the kitchen. my wife and eldest then tell me that “Leut is getting old dad, and with the baby coming we didn’t think it was safe to keep an old grouchy cat around an infant. So we made the decision today to send Leut to a shelter so that she can find a family that is more in line with what she needs.”. ​

I told them both they were WAY out of line (not in so many words) and we would talk when we get back. I drive to the closest shelter, fine Leut, prove ownership, pay the $100 fee to get her back, and take her home.. ​

So here is the drama part: When I get home I call a family meeting and tell my eldest she doesn’t get to make decisions about my pets without consulting me, Leut only wants to be left alone and even if it came to it i would rather exhaust all my options before putting Leut through life at a shelter.

My eldest began arguing with me that Leut would be a liability around an infant and she is unpredictable (untrue, she is either asleep, sitting on her cat tree or eating). At that point i saw red and told her my cat is well trained, and dared her to come up with one instance of Leut even scratching someone, which she couldn’t but kept insisting that old cats are inherently dangerous for kids.

I then told herthat she had one month to get a new place to live as she clearly doesn’t respect me or my things, and that if Leut so much as lost a whisker, I would hold her personally responsible.. ​

My wife and younger daughter are now begging me to change my mind as with my eldest’s current financial condition i would probably be condemning her to homelessness, and that my daughter should come before a cat. AITA for kicking my daughter out after she tried to get rid of my cat?

TLDR: eldest daughter decided to send my elderly cat to a shelter over fears she would harm her baby when the child is born. I kicked her out. AITA?. Edit to add: As many people have brought up, no i am not being as hard on my wife as my daughter.

My wife came up to me last night and basically begged for forgiveness, saying she wasn’t thinking and just accepted the things my daughter was saying without checking (very out of character for her). So I have told her i will need some space for the foreseeable future but that she and I are ok.. ​

Leut is already microcipped and wears a collar and tag. I have also contacted all the shelters around my area and sent them Leut’s picture chip ID and my contact information and an explanation that i am worried someone may surrender my cat without my permission.

See what others had to share with OP:

VirtualEconomy −  NTA. Her entitlement astounds me. She is a complete a**hole for thinking she can remove a member of your family without consulting you. As far as I’m concerned, she did this to herself.

UnsightlyFuzz −  NTA. Making that kind of decision about your cat smacks of entitlement.. My wife and younger daughter are now begging me to change my mind as with my eldest’s current financial condition i would probably be condemning her to homelessness, and that my daughter should come before a cat.

First I do not agree this condemns her to homelessness, she might just have to GET A JOB and ROOM WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHO HAS CATS or sleep on a friend’s couch a while. She also might learn that the world does not owe her a living.

soundspretty −  NTA and honestly your wife is a huge a**hole as well. I would be just as mad at her as the daughter.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. If she wanted you to have pity for her she shouldn’t have came in so confidently acting like a entitled b**t. I’m sorry but you’ve had the cat for 10 years. It’s absurd and selfish to come into your house and tell you you have to get rid of it because she got knocked up.

I have a young cat, but my mom has my childhood cat at her house who is 18 years old. He’s a tomcat and soooo grumpy. However…. when my daughter is around he literally softens and melts over her. He loves her so much and she brings him so much happiness. She’s his baby more than mine at this point lol.

So yeah it’s bs and bogus to just assume a 10 year old cat can’t handle being around an infant. It’s absolutely cruel thah they want you to just ditch a cat you’ve had that long over something that they don’t even actually know will be a problem.

Reddidiot13 −  OP, if I were you, I would call the cops and file a report so there’s a record, because she will probably try again. NTA. Why do people think it’s okay to throw away animals behind people’s backs? Like what the f**k did she think was gonna happen? *Oh thank so much for dropping my old cat off at the kill shelter, I’ve been meaning to euthanize it without saying goodbye* . Holy f**k how callous.

GrannyW3atherwax15 −  NTA, NTA at all. She got rid of your cat behind your back! The cat you rescued 10 years ago and hand reared. Oh lord No, that is unforgiveable. Then to double down and insist she was right and that the cat cannot stay. She is lucky you gave her a month. You could potentially offer to let her stay but Leut is non-negotiable and, if ANYTHING untoward happens to him then she has a week to leave.

Also, older cats generally aren’t fond of babies and will actively avoid them. Even if the cat bizarrely falls in love with the baby then make sure baby’s door is closed when alone in his/her crib. It’s not difficult to keep them apart when unsupervised. Also you can get video baby monitors which could help ensure that Leut isn’t trying to sleep on the baby.

DetectivReneeMontoya −  NTA, how dare they try to get rid of your cat. Did she even apologize? How about your wife, did she apologize?

WebbieVanderquack −  NTA. It’s actually kind of an old wives tale that cats pose a danger to babies. And even if that wasn’t the case, sending your cat to a shelter and not telling you until afterwards was underhanded and really unkind. I absolutely agree that if your daughter wants to live with you, she needs to accept your home and its inhabitants as they are.

You might get further, though, if you try to stay calm and show her some resources that demonstrate that cats are not a threat, or even take her with you to the vet to talk about things she can do to allay her fears. For example, she can make sure the door is shut when the baby’s sleeping. It’s not that difficult.

GrowingApathetic1 −  NTA. And your wife just sat there and let her?! You have more than a daughter problem if your wife didn’t stop her herself. Seriously man, you’re surrounded by inconsiderate assholes

ApartLocksmith1 −  NTA. They SENT YOUR CAT TO A SHELTER. They didn’t ask, they didn’t discuss it with you, they didn’t consider the animal or you – they just took action. You were generous to allow a month for your daughter to get out. A lesser person would have put them on the street that night.. And – what was your wife thinking?

Do you think the father was justified in kicking his daughter out, or was his reaction too extreme considering her difficult circumstances? Would you have acted differently in his shoes? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!