AITA for yelling at my wife for firing our babysitter and making her cry because she called an ambulance?

When it comes to the safety of our kids, it’s easy for emotions to get the best of us, especially when things don’t go as planned. In this story, a father comes home to find his wife furious at their longtime babysitter for calling an ambulance when their baby had a breath-holding episode.

The dad thinks the babysitter made the right call, but his wife is livid about the cost and ends up firing her. Now, they’re in a big argument. Is he wrong for siding with the babysitter, or is his wife overreacting?

‘AITA for yelling at my wife for firing our babysitter and making her cry because she called an ambulance?’

Hello Reddit! I have just downloaded Reddit because my niece said I should post this story to the AITA board so here I am! I am not very good with technology so forgive me but I’ll probably be messing this whole post up! 😂😂😂

So basically here’s what happened. Me and my wife hired our babysitter who we’ve been going to for years, we have 2 sons and a daughter and we’ve been hiring her since my oldest son was a baby (though it was mostly her mom looking after the baby while she was ‘helping’ so we gave her a couple of dollars for that 😂😂😂). She’s now 16 and can look after the kids all on her own and my oldest two love her! (My youngest is only 7 months so I’m not sure he really gets it yet 😂😂😂, but he seems relatively happy when he’s with her).

This Friday my kids daycare has been closed for renovations and Daisy (our babysitter) has kindly offered to take care of them after school, from 3:30-6pm! I get home from work at 6 and my wife gets home at half 6, however, I got home early from work at half five, when I got home I found my wife yelling at Daisy while Daisy was just sobbing and apologizing, I asked my wife what was going on and all she did was just start yelling that Daisy had cost us a bunch of money, my first thought was that she’d broken something, but my wife wasn’t telling me what it was.

She told Daisy she wouldn’t be paying her for her time and to “get the f*ck out of our house and never come back or she’d call the police”. Daisy then ran out crying and I left my wife to calm down while I comforted my kids (they were all crying in a different room while my wife yelled at Daisy). When everything had calmed down, I got the full story from my wife.

So here’s what happened: My mother had been looking after the kids until 3:30 while we were at work. This was Daisy’s first time looking after my youngest son, though we knew we could trust her with the babies since she looked after my daughter alone when she was a baby. Something important that you should know is that my youngest son has breath holding episodes, which occur when he gets frustrated or is in pain, and he will just hold his breath, to stop them you just have to blow on the baby or they will just snap out of it on their own, they’re completely normal and relatively safe in babies, however, the episodes can sometimes cause passing out and blueness, and it’s normal and he usually wakes up within a few seconds.

To cut a long story short my mom forgot to tell Daisy what to do if that happens, and when my son passed out, Daisy panicked and called 911, and then my wife. My wife is now angry that Daisy called 911 for ‘nothing’ and has now wasted our money on an ambulance ride. Me and my wife are now arguing because I think Daisy did the right thing but my wife doesn’t, yesterday we got into a heated argument, we both said some hurtful stuff and she is now staying with her mother for a few days while she ‘thinks over my priorities in the relationship’. AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

OkeyDokey654 – NTA. Your wife is truly, truly awful and I hope you’re having her read these responses.

MLeek – NTA. Your wife behaved reprehensible. Daisy deserves a medal and an apology. She was unprepared with information she required. If you want an expert who’d already knew this, then you don’t get to hire a teenager to babysit and you’re wife needs to get comfy paying a lot more for a professional adult nanny who comes with this sort of knowledge.

Your wife prioritized money over the safety of the children and the most basic respect and kindness towards Daisy. You may also want to be reconsidering some things.

Give Daisy the money and apology your wife owes her. EDIT: Also, would strongly encourage you to apologize to her parents as well, and make sure they are aware of the trauma Daisy experienced. She might have been scarred or ashamed to tell her parents the full truth and it would be kind for you to support her on that front as well.

Much_Independent9628 – NTA. My little brother is a paramedic. They just lost a child because the parents waited too long to call 911 because the child did exactly what your child does. Turns out the child was actually choking. That child is now dead. Easily would have survived had they called 911 as they were nearby both the scene and hospital.

Apart-Ad-6518 – NTA

my mom forgot to tell Daisy what to do if that happens, and when my son passed out, Daisy panicked and called 911

Of course she’d do that. She totally did the right thing. She then called your wife, also the right thing. Your wife shouted, swore at & made a 16 year old kid cry, who would’ve already had a bad scare about your son. That’s just not ok on any level. Daisy needs to be paid for her time & your wife needs to apologize to her. Why she’s entrenching her position now she knows Daisy didn’t even know your son did that is really puzzling. Sounds like you’ve lost a good sitter too.

Stormschance – NTA. Is your wife normally irrational like this? Does she realise she’s valuing money over your child’s health? Your 16-year-old babysitter wasn’t given incredibly important medical information and your wife thinks when faced with an unconscious baby her reaction should have been … what? Ignore it? Call one of you guys?

Lord, pay the babysitter, give her a bonus, apologise for your wife’s behavior (not something I’d normally suggest but damn) Also if there’s a babysitter network you guys will likely be blacklisted.

forgetregret1day – The child stopped breathing and was unresponsive. What exactly did your wife expect her to do? It’s on *you and your wife, not your mother, that Daisy didn’t know about your child’s issue and how to handle it. She did what any reasonable adult would have done in the same circumstances and your wife is so far out of line it’s abusive.

What if this time, the child wasn’t posturing? What if something was really wrong? Should Daisy have left it and allowed him to suffer an anoxic brain injury to save your wife money? I’m appalled by a mother who didn’t provide her children’s caregiver with all necessary information and the ingratitude showed when that caregiver did her best to ensure the child was safe. This is 100% on your wife and her righteous indignation is sickening. NTA.

ETA – several commenters have pointed out that I stated it was the wife’s responsibility to inform the babysitter of the child’s issue, leaving out the father. My point at the time was in direct reference to the chain of events going from grandma to babysitter with no explanation about the baby’s condition. I didn’t mean to infer that OP/dad wasn’t just as responsible for giving the babysitter that crucial information so I’ve edited my comment* to reflect that they were both responsible. Thanks to those who pointed it out.

loverlyone – OMG your wife is completely out of line. I was a licensed childcare provider and a developmental specialist with degrees in education, 25 years experience and a mother, myself and I would have called the EMTs right away. As a parent the last thing I want is a 16-year-old, non-medical-professional to decide if my blue-faced child is going to be OK or not.

Did the babysitter even know about the problem before she agreed to care? You really did the babysitter wrong, IMO. She’s gonna be hesitant to babysit for anyone, I’ll bet. NTA