AITA for yelling at my mother-in-law after she said some n**ty things about my child?

A Redditor shares a tense situation with her mother-in-law after her 5-year-old daughter, who is still toilet training due to frequent UTIs, was shamed by her grandma for her bathroom habits.

Despite the child successfully avoiding accidents all week, her grandmother reacted harshly when she saw the child sitting backward on the toilet, calling the behavior “weird” and “unclean.” This led the user to snap in defense of her daughter, leaving the visit early. Now, she’s wondering if she overreacted. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for yelling at my mother-in-law after she said some n**ty things about my child?’

My 5-year-old daughter wanted to visit her grandmother (my mother-in-law) for MIL’s birthday. MIL was super excited about the idea and enthusiastically invited us over.Now, my daughter is in the process of toilet training. It’s taken longer than usual due to her frequent UTIs.

I told my MIL this and promised to put a mattress protector on the bed my daughter slept in, and if she had an accident, I’d clean it up. MIL was fine with this. During the entire week that we stayed with MIL, my daughter didn’t have a single accident.

But on the day before we left, MIL walked in on my daughter using the toilet (she sometimes forgets to lock the door). MIL totally freaked out and ran to me to tell me that my daughter was sitting on the toilet backward (facing the tank).

I tried to explain that it was common for kids who are toilet training to sit backward because the position feels more secure, but she wasn’t listening and kept going on about how it was “unhealthy” and my daughter was “weird and unclean.”

I lost my temper and snapped at her for insulting my kid over a totally normal behavior, and we left. She’s been ignoring me ever since. So, AITA? I know I shouldn’t have yelled, but she also shouldn’t have been so rude about my daughter showing a common behavior that wasn’t making a mess.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

starrynight764 −  What has the doctor said about the frequent UTIs? If you’re actually teaching her to potty train, she should be sitting correctly especially at that age. I don’t think it’s as common as what you think it is.

hadesarrow3 −  NTA. Good lord, so many Reddit doctors. You’re doing what your pediatrician recommended, not to mention you didn’t ASK for an opinion on your kid’s toilet habits, you asked about how you reacted to your MIL’s inappropriate ranting.

Extra-Affect6020 −  All these people saying Y T A…..my son sat backward on the toilet until about 5-6. He hated the kid’s potty, hated the little seats you put on the regular toilet, and just felt all around more secure sitting backward on our tall, elongated toilet.

It may be a little different for girls, I guess, because we pee sitting down, but it’s not a big deal. MIL’s reaction was over the top, and you reacted in the same manner. Could you have tried to calmly explain things to her, yes, but when she comes to you at level 100, most people will respond in kind.. NTA

The1Eileen −  Just to add some historical context – it used to be absolutely normal to sit facing the tank or back. That is exactly how ladies in hoops or lots of petticoats did it. It was simply easier and more stable that way.

I love all the “sit the right way” comments. If your urine is in the bowl and not the floor? You’ve done it “right”. There is typical. There is common. There is not a “right way” to sit on the toilet other than “get the urine in the bowl and not the floor (or you)”

Alarming-Phone4911 −  NTA but I have a suggestion for u… try boxer shorts for Ur daughter while training as they don’t sit as close to her body so it’s able to breathe and when she does have an accident she’s not rubbing herself on it, it could help with the utis

Hot_Campaign_900 −  What the hell difference does it make? Little kids do weird things all the time. Why doesn’t your MIL just take it in stride instead of losing her s**t?

Artblock_Insomniac −  NTA, and ot IS norxmal for some kids to want to do this. Just because other people haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it’s not a common or Normal thing. I work at a daycare and I’ve seen 2 separate kids do this. It’s definitely uncommon but as long as you’re regularly cleanig your toilet than it’s fine. Trust your pediatrician and ignore your mil unhelpful temper tantrum.

The_State_Kid −  Everyone is googling “s**t on the toilet” but you said SIT on the toilet. While you should probably get around to correcting that, as long as it’s okay with her doctor, I’m not gonna judge. NTA, your MIL should have handled it like an adult.

AellaReeves −  Yes Google is so much better than an actual doctor’s suggestion. Good job arm chair “doctors” you are so helpful!

excel_pager_420 −  Your 5 year old daughter is a frequent bed-wetter and gets UTI’s. Both stop when you’re away visiting your MIL. INFO: Have you had the, “no adult should touch your underwear areas, if they do you can always tell me” chat yet? The “adults will never ask you to keep secrets and play secret games, if they do tell me” chat yet?

Do you think the user was justified in standing up for her daughter’s feelings, or should she have handled the situation differently? How would you respond if a family member shamed your child over a harmless habit? Share your thoughts below!