AITA for wanting to divorce my husband because he doesn’t meet my intimacy needs?

A woman is grappling with the decision to divorce her husband due to a lack of intimacy in their marriage. Despite open communication, patience, and attempts to rekindle their physical connection, her needs remain unmet.

While her husband excels as a partner in other ways, his disinterest in addressing the issue has left her feeling rejected and emotionally unfulfilled. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for wanting to divorce my husband because he doesn’t meet my intimacy needs ?’

I (30F) have been married to my husband (32M) for 6 years. At the start of our relationship, we had a very close and affectionate connection. But over the past couple of years, things have changed. My husband just doesn’t seem interested in being intimate anymore.

I’ve tried talking to him about it multiple times, but he brushes it off, and when we do try to be close, it feels like more of a chore for him than something we enjoy together. I’ve tried being patient, understanding, and open about my feelings.

I’ve suggested different ways to reconnect, communicated my needs, and even tried initiating more often, but nothing seems to change. We still have a strong emotional connection in many other aspects of our relationship, and he’s a great partner in most ways, but the lack of physical closeness is really starting to affect me emotionally.

I feel rejected, frustrated, and like my needs are not important to him anymore. I’ve even suggested therapy to work through this, but he doesn’t seem interested. I’ve reached a point where I feel like I can’t continue in a marriage where my needs are being ignored.

I’ve been thinking about divorce for a while now, but I’m unsure if I’m overreacting. Is it unreasonable to want to leave a marriage because of this issue, or should I just accept that this is how things are going to be? AITA for wanting to divorce him because of this?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

MarkofCalth −  NTA but convince him to go see a doctor before making the decision to separate. His lack of desire could be a medical issue, like low testosterone. Its worth trying, especially if he is otherwise a good partner 

malfaro412 −  He could be having a testosterone issue. I know a number of young couples where this happened and things changed when the husband started hormone therapy

Vivid-Ad5691 −  **-**NTA It’s not unreasonable to want intimacy in a marriage. Physical connection is a vital part of a healthy relationship, and it’s essential to feel heard and valued.

It sounds like you’ve communicated your needs clearly, and it’s concerning that he’s not willing to even try to address the issue. You deserve to feel fulfilled, and if he’s not willing to work on it with you, it might be time to reassess the relationship.

BlueGreen_1956 −  YTA For posting another reverse s** post so close to one just like it that posted minutes ago. Same advice the Reddit brigade gives men when they write in about the same thing:. His body, his choice.. He does not owe you s**. Just be celibate until he changes his mind.. Hilarious.

Civil_Discussion9886 −  Sadly, I was your husband. I was not hearing my wife’s needs and was decisive. I wasn’t until I realized I was not happy either. I finally sat down with her with my heart on my sleeve and told her I missed what we used to be and wanted to improve for her and wanted her to at least be happy again.

evie_in_wonderland −  NTA. If your marriage is ok in other areas, I’d suggest asking him to get his testosterone checked. My husband found out his was very low around the age 30 and had to be put on T shots. It has helped both of us tremendously. So sorry you’re going through this. 🩷

HolyAssholiness −  “We still have a strong emotional connection in many other aspects of our relationship, and he’s a great partner in most ways”
What you’ve stated above can also be hard to find. Will a great s** life make up for losing what you’ve stated above?

I know it would be great to check all of the boxes, but sometimes people find what they are missing but end up missing what they gave up to find it. ETA NTA but be careful about giving up something worth hanging onto. I acknowledge that your hubby’s reluctance to work on things is a red flag.

New-Distribution-981 −  I will stay consistent when this exact same question is asked on Reddit, but it’s the man asking. If your spouse isn’t in the mood, what more should you be doing to get him in the mood? What practical daily needs are you not currently meeting of his where intimacy is far from his mind? 

Chazz-Lo88 −  Devil’s advocate here. When I married, my wife gained over 150 pounds in the first 3 years. Everything became me not meeting her needs.

Altruistic-Twist5977 −  NTA op, you deserve things that you need in life in order to be happy. I am curious tho, if the roles were reversed, a lot of the redditors here in the subreddit would scream YTA, scream profanities and say that OP is only interested in s** and theres must be smthg wrong with OP for being too horny.. Oh well double standards exist