AITA for wanting to disinvite my fiancés childhood girl ‘best friend’ from attending our wedding for drunkenly confessing her love for him at my bachelorette party?

A Redditor, set to marry her fiancé Elijah next month, faces a dilemma after discovering that his childhood best friend, Kami, drunkenly confessed her love for him during the Redditor’s bachelorette party. Kami, who has always been friendly but recently distant,

expressed to Elijah’s sister that she believed she and Elijah were meant to be together. Now, the Redditor is considering disinviting Kami from the wedding, unsure if it’s the right choice given the long-standing friendship between her fiancé and Kami. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for wanting to disinvite my fiancés childhood girl ‘best friend’ from attending our wedding for drunkenly confessing her love for him at my bachelorette party?’

I (23f) and my fiancé Elijah (28m), are due to get married at the end of next month at our destination wedding. Last night was my bachelorette party and I invited my closest family and friends to come along with a few of my fiancés family and his friend Kami (27f).

For some backstory I and my fiancé met when I was 19 years old. Both of our fathers are business partners and have been friends since I was in high school. One night his family invited mines over for a party being held at their home and that was the first time we met.

I was attracted to him but I knew he was older so I didn’t believe I had a chance. As the night progressed he was hanging outside in his backyard alone smoking and my sister dared me to go talk to him. So I did… and a year later we began a relationship.

My fiancé and Kami have been friends since they were kids and their families are very close. She’s always been extremely nice towards me and wanted to be ‘best friends’ from the first time we met. I found it a bit odd only because she barely knew me but I didn’t think much of it because she had been dating my fiancé’s best friend Antonio (28m).

We didn’t become best friends because I already have a close friend group and I don’t trust easily but she’s always been cool and never crossed any boundaries. Last summer my fiance proposed to me on a trip to Belize. When the announcement was made everyone sent their congratulatory praises to us but Kami.

She sent a text the next day (to my fiancé only not our friend group chat) saying she was happy for him. She was a bit stand offish to me since then but again I never paid attention really became I have my own friends and life.

About 6 months ago Antonio and Kami broke up but never really stated the reason why just that they want to go back to being friends and be happy with other people. Fast forward to last night my bachelorette was in a suite, at a popular hotel here in Miami (where I live).

Planned by my older sister and Eli’s sister Ava (26f). The night was amazing and I truly had the time of my life. We all were getting wasted and I’d decided to go to the bathroom and when I got closer, I heard voices and whimpering like someone was crying.

It was then I heard Kami telling Ava, that this should be her and that she doesn’t understand why he would want to be with someone like me, when it was always supposed to be them two together. That she always loved him. I sobered the hell up instantly.

I might have to do a part 2, but guys tells me would I be the a**hole for disinviting her from my wedding, when it’s a month away?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

pastel-goth3722 −  Take a breath and think for a moment, don’t unilateral decide not to invite her or you’ll drive a wedge between you and your fiancé. Talk to his sister first, confirm what you heard. See how she plays it off. Talk to your fiancé tell him what you overheard and ask him to ask his sister to have confirmation.. Then go from there.. As a whole NTA.

Common-Ad718 −  NTA but you have to talk to your fiancé… Tell him exactly what you heard. Make sure to emphasize that you didn’t have any problem whatsoever with her or their friendship,

but that now that you know that her feelings are not the same as a friend then you need him to have boundaries with her and you don’t feel comfortable with her being at the wedding when all this time she didn’t want to be a supportive friend but instead the bride.

aliencardboard −  This is certainly an awkward and difficult situation. I think you should speak to your fiancé about it and go from there. If she can’t be an actual friend and supportive of you both, then she should remove herself from the situation if she’s not over him or having issues of jealousy. Definitely not someone you’d want being a distraction at your wedding.

mocha_lattes_ −  You need to talk to your fiance. Their friendship needs to end. Once it’s out there like that there is no coming back from this. The two of you need to be on the same page or hold off the wedding.

Do not marry him if he won’t end his friendship with someone who confessed to his sister that she’s in love with him. She told her because she wants her to tell him and for him to choose her. That’s not ok. He needs to be the one to uninvited her. NTA

Cursd818 −  NTA Tell your fiancee what you heard and that you don’t feel comfortable with her attending. He should be the one to manage this situation. It would be inappropriate for her to attend if this is how she feels. It would taint the day to have her sulking, or worse, protesting.

Hopefully, your fiancee immediately sees that and steps up to do the right thing. And their friendship should definitely cool significantly. When one person is in love with the other, you *can’t* be friends. It may be sad, but it’s a fact. Distance is what they need, starting with the wedding.

KenGriffinsMomSucks −  NTA. Do not let her come to your wedding unless you’re prepared for a good chance of drama.

nichtsistlos −  Why do you need to do a part 2?

Content_Print_6521 −  I think you should tell your fiance (calmly) what happened, and ask his opinion. This can go two ways: she can come to the wedding and realize the finality of the situation, or you can disinvite her and cause a rift.

Or maybe she decides on her own not to come. It’s a tricky situation and I can’t tell you the right thing to do. But uninviting her is not out of the question.. Talk to your fiance.

YaddaBoomBadda −  NTA I would do it kindly though, because she has been kind to you. I’d reach out privately and say you don’t want her to feel like she has to show up to the wedding, that you understand what she’s going through and don’t want her to be there if it will cause her pain.

BeachinLife1 −  Ah yes. The “girl best friend.” Well here’s the thing. Someone better talk to her (Ava maybe?) and let her know that she’d better stay sober at your wedding and not create any drama or she will be removed.

You need to tell your fiancé what you heard. Of course he’s going to downplay it because they always do, but you need to be very clear to him that any kind of misbehavior by her will be dealt with, period, THE END.

Was the Redditor justified in considering disinviting Kami, or should she let bygones be bygones to preserve peace? How would you handle such a situation so close to the wedding? Share your thoughts below!