AITA for wanting my son to treat my girlfriend with respect?

A father is concerned about his 15-year-old son’s disrespectful attitude toward his girlfriend and her daughter after announcing they are expecting a child together. During dinner, the son made hurtful accusations, leading to a confrontation.

The father suggested his son either speak calmly or go to his room, which resulted in the son deciding to leave for his mother’s house. The father feels his ex may be influencing his son’s behavior and wonders if he was wrong in handling the situation. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for wanting my son to treat my girlfriend with respect?’

My ex-wife and I got divorced 2 years ago. We have a 15 year old son who we share custody of. He spends one week with me and one with my ex.
My girlfriend and her daughter moved in with me at the beginning of this year.

My son and her have been getting along better than I could’ve hoped for but lately he’s been acting dismissive towards her and her daughter. Last week, we found out that we’re going to have a child together. We broke the news to the children today over dinner.

Her daughter was excited to have a younger sibling but my son didn’t seem too happy. After dinner, I asked him if there was something bothering him. He asked if we were really going to have a child and how I could be sure that it’s mine.

I told him that there was no way to talk about someone and he reacted by doubling down on his statement and calling her a homewrecker and a gold digger.
He was getting pretty loud so I told him to either calm down and talk to me in a normal tone or to go to his room to cool off.

He decided to go back to his mom’s house instead. I agreed to drive him because I didn’t want him walking through half the city after dark. I told my girlfriend what happened and she thinks I should text him before going to bed and let him take his time to respond without being pressured.

I did receive a text from my ex though, in which she called me an a**hole amongst other things for kicking my son out in favor of my girlfriend. Which is something I never did. I didn’t want him to leave but I also didn’t want to force him to stay here when he insisted on leaving.

I also think my ex might be behind my son’s reaction since she can’t stand my girlfriend. None of the accusations sounded like something my son would say, especially since my girlfriend is contributing to rent and groceries because she’s an adult who can pay for herself.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

PensionLegitimate706 −  INFO. Was your girlfriend your affair partner and you cheated on his mom? You moved on incredibly quickly and are now having a baby? Seriously? How did you think he was going to react.

ProfPlumDidIt −   calling her a homewrecker . Did you cheat on his mom with this woman?

mlc885 −  None of the accusations sounded like something my son would say, especially since my girlfriend is contributing to rent and groceries because she’s an adult who can pay for herself.. Well your son *did* say them…. YTA possibly

You got divorced when he was 13 and almost immediately got a new family and now are having a new kid. Think about how your current child might take that.

Pink_Flying_Pasta −  That fact that your son and her got along and then he is distant says something. Also the fact that he questions if the baby is yours. Something happened and you’re being rude and dismissive of him. 

fiposu −  YTA Was there any discussion with your son before you moved your girlfriend and her kid in? Did you consider that perhaps he is a teenager whose parents have been divorced for only a few years, and now you already have a ”new family” and he might feel replaced?

i am guessing that you just moved them in and told your son to adjust to it with no support or help or discussion of how to adjust to these changes. the new baby is just proof to him that you are moving on without him, and this fight when you are taking your girlfriends side does not make it any better

havecourage_bekind4 −  Soft YTA. Your son is likely feeling completely replaced at this point and needs support. As someone who has been there, I was always cordial to my dad’s new wife because I truly hoped she would eventually go away.

When they got pregnant when I was 11, I did not react well either as I knew she was permanent at that point. I love my siblings now (though I still don’t get along with her). Please make sure your son knows that you still love him very much.

I still have a hard time with my dad because he forgot to do that in his actions and it always made me feel less than. Again, your son is young and facing a lot of change. He reacted fairly well by opting to leave, but you need to go and talk to him ASAP. Don’t let this sit. Also, never let him feel less than your new kid. It’s a hard thing to feel.

SeaworthinessNo2915 −  we need info on why u and ur ex wife are divorced, because having ur gf moved in and already having a kid with her in the span of 2 years sounds fishy to me…

Adventurous_Couple76 −  YTA. There is something happening that you refuse to see

Past_Nose_491 −  YTA. You brought in a girlfriend before you were even divorced not giving your son time to get used to you and his mom ripping the family apart before you did so. Now you want a 15 year old BOY to jump for joy over a baby? Be realistic.

VegetableAway9043 −  Yeah you think what’s missing in this scenario is respect but actually it’s missing empathetic parenting

Should he prioritize his son’s feelings or his girlfriend’s respect? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!