AITA for wanting my girlfriend to pay rent and utilities to live in my house?
A Redditor shares a financial dilemma regarding her girlfriend moving in with her. After proposing that her girlfriend contribute $1,250 per month to cover living expenses in her house, tensions arise when her girlfriend suggests a much lower amount based on their income disparity. This disagreement about fairness and financial responsibility brings their relationship into question. Read the original story below to see how this couple navigates their differing perspectives on money.
‘ AITA for wanting my girlfriend to pay rent and utilities to live in my house?’
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Do you think the user is justified in wanting her girlfriend to contribute a fair amount to household expenses, or is her girlfriend’s perspective about financial contribution based on their income disparity more reasonable? How would you approach financial discussions in a relationship where living arrangements change? Share your thoughts below!
If she is paying $3k/month, that leaves her with approximately $1000/month to live on. Unless she dresses in rags, eats spaghetti 7 days a week, has no car, never visits a doctor, etc., she can’t live on that. Either you got the facts wrong or she is not being totally honest. Investigate before you reach a decision.
I see 2 ways to go about this.
1. Equality in everything. All $$ (both salaries) go into one account. Bills are paid and spending money allocated. This is how my partner and I live. It’s been good for the last 25 years. For us it’s a partnership for life.
If you are wanting to keep your finances separate, I believe 50/50 is the way to go. Yes one person makes more than the other, but this is all maintenance fees. No one is profiting from it.
Where I am from, domestic partners are common law married after 3 months. So after that point it’s all moot.
I don’t believe you are the AH. She wants a free ride. Stick to at least 800$ per Mont. Your utilities will increase. I would get out of that relationship. She is increasing her income because of move. I think she is Gaslighting you.
I think it’s crazy that you make 300k and only spend 2500 per month which still leaves you with a ton of money left and you want her to split cost while only making 50k-I see if you said for her to but groceries and pay some of the utilities. But an even split is insane. You sound like you’re trying to teach her a lesson more so than be a partner -she should move on- if you were a man and wrote this everyone would say how much of an A hole you were and that she should leave you and how you’re a dirt bag for this- it’s not different because you’re a woman as well.
Why is everyone assuming that when she says girlfriend, it means they’re lesbians? I have girlfriends that I call that, and we aren’t in relationships: we’re simply girlfriends.
Are you trying to keep her broke so she is dependent on you? Other than a roof over her head, what does she get from this “relationship.” She doesn’t get her name on the house, and there is no mentiopn of how household income is shared. If you love her, you’ll give her that 1/6th figure, and allow her to accumulate money of her own so she can be independant. That puts some onus on you to be the type of partner one would want… instead of the partner she is stuck with because she has no other options.
I share 50/50 in rental home with my husband.even though i earn 1800€ and he earns around 700€.how Ever, i pay the car with gas and insurance in our use (I own it) and my Sons needs. He does not give money To those things, so that makes it More even. How Ever, if i would make much More than him, i would not ask so big part.
Just because the OP was gifted a house and makes loads more money, why should he have to carry her? If she can afford $3k now on her wages she should be grateful he is potentially giving her half of that back to spend on herself! If she cant afford it, she should be in a lower rental property. As much as everyone is saying ‘if he loved her he would want to support her’ , if she loved HIM she wouldn’t want to freeload!!
Living together isn’t marriage. One problem I see is that if she is paying some rent and things go bad, you have a business relationship in respect to the house. But if she moves in and in 6 months things go to heck, if she refuses to move out for some reason, you can’t evict her in the same was as if she was a tenant. I don’t mean to be cynical, but it already sounds like you guys are thinking of money in completely different ways. Why for instance is she living now in an apartment she can’t realistically afford?
NTA, but your math and everyone else’s math is off. I’ll explain.
Utilities, Insurance, Taxes are $2500/month. No mortgage payment, yay you, but the house is yours, so you and you alone are responsible for the Taxes and Insurance on the structure. If you wanted her to help with bills, then split the Utilities (she will be living there too) and the portion of insurance that covers contents of your house. (If you were to have a house fire, I’m sure she would want money from insurance to buy replacement things.) Calculate that cost and then split that. Those costs can be understandably split 50/50 regardless of income disparity in my opinion.
NTA. Until you two are married and combining finances, you should both put in half. She’s getting quite the bargain being able to save so much more money by moving in with you, anyways. She can literally just take that extra and throw it into savings. I’m not really sure why she’d be upset by that. Is it her house? No, but neither is the apartment that she’s renting. It’s ridiculous for her to think that she’s just going to move in with you and not have to pay anything.
Now, when/if y’all get married, then you can combine finances and figure all that stuff out then.
I’d talk to her more before agreeing to let her move in and find out why she feels entitled to live there free. Make sure she truly loves you.