AITA for wanting my girlfriend to pay rent and utilities to live in my house?
A Redditor shares a financial dilemma regarding her girlfriend moving in with her. After proposing that her girlfriend contribute $1,250 per month to cover living expenses in her house, tensions arise when her girlfriend suggests a much lower amount based on their income disparity. This disagreement about fairness and financial responsibility brings their relationship into question. Read the original story below to see how this couple navigates their differing perspectives on money.
‘Â AITA for wanting my girlfriend to pay rent and utilities to live in my house?’
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Do you think the user is justified in wanting her girlfriend to contribute a fair amount to household expenses, or is her girlfriend’s perspective about financial contribution based on their income disparity more reasonable? How would you approach financial discussions in a relationship where living arrangements change? Share your thoughts below!
NTA, but your math and everyone else’s math is off. I’ll explain.
Utilities, Insurance, Taxes are $2500/month. No mortgage payment, yay you, but the house is yours, so you and you alone are responsible for the Taxes and Insurance on the structure. If you wanted her to help with bills, then split the Utilities (she will be living there too) and the portion of insurance that covers contents of your house. (If you were to have a house fire, I’m sure she would want money from insurance to buy replacement things.) Calculate that cost and then split that. Those costs can be understandably split 50/50 regardless of income disparity in my opinion.
If she is paying $3k/month, that leaves her with approximately $1000/month to live on. Unless she dresses in rags, eats spaghetti 7 days a week, has no car, never visits a doctor, etc., she can’t live on that. Either you got the facts wrong or she is not being totally honest. Investigate before you reach a decision.
I see 2 ways to go about this.
1. Equality in everything. All $$ (both salaries) go into one account. Bills are paid and spending money allocated. This is how my partner and I live. It’s been good for the last 25 years. For us it’s a partnership for life.
If you are wanting to keep your finances separate, I believe 50/50 is the way to go. Yes one person makes more than the other, but this is all maintenance fees. No one is profiting from it.
Where I am from, domestic partners are common law married after 3 months. So after that point it’s all moot.
NTA. Until you two are married and combining finances, you should both put in half. She’s getting quite the bargain being able to save so much more money by moving in with you, anyways. She can literally just take that extra and throw it into savings. I’m not really sure why she’d be upset by that. Is it her house? No, but neither is the apartment that she’s renting. It’s ridiculous for her to think that she’s just going to move in with you and not have to pay anything.
Now, when/if y’all get married, then you can combine finances and figure all that stuff out then.
I’d talk to her more before agreeing to let her move in and find out why she feels entitled to live there free. Make sure she truly loves you.
I don’t believe you are the AH. She wants a free ride. Stick to at least 800$ per Mont. Your utilities will increase. I would get out of that relationship. She is increasing her income because of move. I think she is Gaslighting you.