AITA for using my driveway to load up kids and granny after a family party?

The OP (38F) and her husband (31M) hosted a large family gathering, with guests using the shared driveway to load up kids and gifts afterward. The neighbor across the street became upset about the headlights from the cars in the driveway shining into their home, which disturbed their attempt to watch TV. After some back and forth, the husband responded dismissively, telling the neighbor to leave. Now, the OP is wondering if they were wrong for using the driveway in this manner, especially since the neighbor was upset about the lights.

‘ AITA for using my driveway to load up kids and granny after a family party?’

My husband (31m) and I (38m) have lived in our house for 6 years. We don’t have a garage and share a driveway with a neighbor we love. We typically have a few big parties a year. 2024 has been rough with some mental health issues and significant losses, so last night’s big family gathering was refreshing and fun to have the house all decorated and full of loved ones again. Most of our guests parked behind our house; many had kids and gifts to load up when it was time to go.

I helped grandma (80f) get in her daughter’s car and went back inside. My husband helped his sister and her husband load up their three girls (8, 6, and 4). Suddenly, the neighbor across the street came charging up the driveway, screaming about headlights in her front window. Her husband was also yelling from across the street. The kids were visibly upset and crying when the woman got up to our porch.

The kids’ parents yell back at her, mostly asking her to calm down and stop yelling. They turned their headlights off the second they understood what the problem was. Then the husband (still on the porch yelling across the street) says the parking lights are also too bright.

After some back and forth, my husband (sassily, but with a smile) told her to get off the porch and go home because her screaming was making the whole departure take even longer. He told her to call the cops if she wanted to, but this was the last car out.

I can see their window as I type this. Not a shred of curtains or blinds or anything. They were upset because they were trying to watch tv and the headlights from our driveway were blinding them for about 30 minutes between everyone leaving the party combined. Are we assholes for using our driveway?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Humble_Plantain_5918 −  Edit to NTA. I thought the leaving guests were sitting there with their lights shining right in the neighbor’s window. That not being the case, neighbors were crazy.  ~~ESH.~~ Nobody’s headlights should be on and pointing directly at a neighbor’s window any longer than is absolutely necessary. I don’t know why anyone would sit there with their headlights on while old people and kids were loading into the car.

It’s just not necessary. On the other hand, it sounds like they really should have just drawn their curtains too… with a lot of people leaving at once, there was going to be some amount of headlights in their windows with people leaving the driveway regardless. They were unreasonable, but y’all should have been more considerate. 

hadMcDofordinner −  No, but do avoid the headlights now that you know the. neighbors are affected. NTA Neighbors over-reacted. A simple wave and request from. Their front porch would have sufficed.

JaxAttack86 −  Not at all. It wasn’t as if there was loud music or even the headlights being on at 2am. The fact your neighbors don’t have blinds or curtains is their issue and quite odd given their angry tirade. Perhaps as a Christmas gift and a friendly neighbor, purchase them a pair of curtains.

Available_Doctor_974 −  NTA – Seems like a “them” problem. May just remember it for the future simply to avoid them.

anon19111 −  The neighbors across the way are probably often bothered by this reasonably or not. Except they don’t tell you. They complain to each other, have mental arguments with you in their head, let it build and then finally it blows up. Its the first time they are telling you but for them its like the “final straw.” Too often the final straw for some people is the first straw for the person who has been irritating them.

People ought to use their words and not “let things go” that they aren’t actually letting go. What they should have done is simply walked over and said, hey do you mind turning off the lights until you are ready to leave?. NTA.

Longjumping_Peak_67 −  NTA It’s your driveway, and you were just helping family load up after a party, not exactly a wild crime spree. The neighbors’ reaction was completely over the top. If headlights were an issue, they could have calmly mentioned it instead of storming over and yelling at kids and grandparents. Also, no curtains or blinds? That’s on them, not you. It’s unreasonable to expect everyone else to cater to their TV-watching needs when you’re just using your own property as intended. Your husband handled it well

herbtarleksblazer −  NTA. They are idiots who are trying to get the world to conform to their off-kilter perception of societal norms.

3xlduck −  NTA. They can get blinds, or plants bushes in front of their window. That is their problem to solve. Headlights going on when cars open is pretty normal/standard function. Neighbors welcome to call the cops, they’ll probably laugh. Wouldn’t even get there in time before all the cars leave.

dararie −  Who doesn’t have window dressings on street facing windows? You are definitely NTA.

PersonalityKlutzy407 −  ESH. THIRTY MINUTES your guest’s headlights were lighting up their house? They could’ve been nicer but ESH.