AITA for using flash cards to explain to my brother and his wife why they can’t bring their rainbow baby to my wedding?

A Reddit user faced backlash after using flashcards to reiterate a “childfree wedding” policy to his brother and sister-in-law, who insisted their “rainbow baby” should be an exception.

Despite several verbal explanations, the brother continued to push, prompting the user to resort to the visual aid, which escalated tensions. Read the story below to decide if the user went too far.

‘ AITA for using flash cards to explain to my brother and his wife why they can’t bring their rainbow baby to my wedding?’

My fiancee (F) and I (M) are getting married. We’ve decided wedding’s gonna be childfree. No hate towards children just to keep it more organized and contained. My brother ‘Chris’ (M) and his wife (F) have a 3 yro son who everyone calls “miracle” or “rainbow” baby.

He came after several failed pregnancies that lasted for years. When they found out that my nephew was included in the no children rule; they tried to convince me to make an exception for him.

Chris told me his son is a miracle baby and his presence at the wedding will bring “blessings” for me and my fiancee. I refused and said no, the wedding is childfree. His wife kept sending my fiancee pics of my nephew when he was months old (what that mean??).

I told them no, and to stop. My brother told me this might cause a rift in our relationship, I again said no and explained that the wedding is childfree. He asked again and pointed out how his baby is different since he’s a rainbow, a miracle baby. I again said no and explained that the wedding is childfree.

They brought it up when they visited at my home and I knew they weren’t going to stop so I’d made flash cards in advance with the phrase “the wedding is childfree, period” and pulled them out and started slowly showing them the flash cards one by one in this order:

– The wedding (with a sticker of bride and groom). – Is Child (with a sticker of a baby). – FREEE (with a sticker of a 🚫 sign). – PERIOD (with a huge, black dot sticker).

They both were stunned. I asked if they get it now and Chris had lost his s**t. His wife had already grabbed her stuff and walked out. Chris called me an a**hole for doing this and said that I disrespected him, his wife and their son who’s my one and only nephew.

He rushed out after we argued. My fiancee saw the whole thing and thought that it was funny but my parents and Chris are livid beyond measure. They’re telling everyone about the amount of disrespect and mockery I had displayed towards them and I’m being told to “fix it” now.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Dipping_My_Toes −  Well, I suppose you could have used hand puppets instead, but flashcards seem to have gotten the message across.

It makes me insane how some parents think their little bundle of joy should be allowed anywhere, anywhen, anytime and that no never applies to them. It’s pretty clear they were going to run this horse right up to the altar. NTA.

BadBunnyAndBear −  NTA that is g**damn hilarious. They kept pushing the boundary and you held it firm in probably the funniest way possible

Brilliant-Cherry510 −  Well, let me start by saying that you made a couple of mistakes.. 1. No boom box.. 2. Not enough flash cards.
You missed a fantastic opportunity to press play on something like The Dan Band’s version of Total Eclipse of the Heart (definitely a wedding song) while flipping cards “Love Actually” style.

I’m thinking you could have gotten all the way to: * To me, your rainbow baby is perfect. * But you can’t bring him or his rainbows to my wedding. And even if you had made it look all the while like you were going to give in and then dropped the hammer with the last card. You are still:. NTA.

nope-111 −  Should have told them that all babies are miracles, but that you were having a miracle free wedding.

[Reddit User] −  NTA and this kid is fucked. The parents are going to spoil the s**t out of him, make excuses for any bad behavior, give him priority in every situation, make life hell for his teachers, etc.

He’s going to grow up thinking he’s better than everyone else and is going to have an absolutely brutal adulthood once he realizes his friends and coworkers don’t give a flying f**k that his parents had trouble getting pregnant.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, you are a legend. I’m glad that Chris and his wife managed to get pregnant, but their child is no more special than anyone else’s. Which is to say, no special at all except to the child’s parents.

This miracle and rainbow baby stuff, well again, I’m glad they got their child after difficulties! A lot of folks don’t get that opportunity! But the kid isn’t Christ reborn and they need to get that out of their thick skulls.

The flashcards, honestly, are a solid way of showing that. If the rest of the family gives you trouble, be sure to let the others with kids know that they think their miracle child is more special than their normal, mundane children (Chris’s words) and watch their support dry up.

Psycuteowl −  I say NTA. They did not respect your choice. I would honestly hire security because I bet money they will try to come with baby and be like she cant do anything because we are here with baby. I say hire security and make sure they know anyone who brings a child will NOT be admitted.

And you will have security there to be sure this rule is followed. Plus what you did sounds absolutely hilarious! Id be laughing my ass off if I was actually part of this entire thing. Even help with security. Its your wedding. And people have child free weddings all the time!

It is not unusual. Plus it makes sure that there is no loud crying during the ceremony. Look Im all happy they were able to have a baby. But really what they want is disrespectful because its been made clear NO. CHILDREN. AT. THE. WEDDING!

Id basically tell them they are uninvited if they keep this up and if they and parents keep trying to force this parents can be non invited too. Family is who you choose not who is blood.

Its_Rare −  They gonna bring the child to the wedding.

Master_Post4665 −  NTA. Sounds like you already fixed it. They won’t be at the wedding. Good on you. I’m so tired of people saying, “But it’s my miracle baby!” Every baby is a miracle, and theirs isn’t special. The rest of your family are AHs for enabling this ridiculous o**ession with the baby.

RadioSupply −  Send your parents a single index card that says, “No.”

Was using flashcards an effective way to handle the situation, or did it add unnecessary fuel to the fire? Should the couple have respected the childfree boundary, or does the context of a “rainbow baby” justify their request? Share your thoughts below!