AITA: For uninviting my sister to my wedding for what she told my fiancèe?

A Redditor shared a story about an escalating family conflict leading up to their wedding. When the bride-to-be chose a spaghetti strap dress that showed a burn scar on her collarbone, the groom’s sister criticized the decision, urging her to cover up.

After repeated instances of insensitive comments, the groom decided to uninvite his sister from the wedding, leading to backlash from other family members. Read the full story below to understand the complexities of this emotional situation.

‘ AITA: For uninviting my sister to my wedding for what she told my fiancèe?’

My M27 fiancèe F25 has an obvious permanent burnscar from an accident that caused her mother (her only parent) to pass away from injury. My fiancèe had a long recovery it’s been 7 years. The scar is on her collarbone. it goes down her chest but isn’t showing. Unless she’s wearing scoop/square tops.

She often wears hoodies/jackets to cover up. She puts this cream I don’t know what ladies call it but it’s supposed to tone skin color or something? I’m not sure but my fiancèe calls it foundation that is one degree brighter than her skin color. I absolutely adore her she’s pretty, smart, ambitious and the list goes on.

What happened was unfortunate and I’m glad she’s at peace with herself and more confident. My family love her. How can they not. She’s a member of the family. My mom makes sure she takes part in every family function and things like shopping and decorating other things.

However. My sister made comments about my fiancèe’s scar several times. I’ve called her out on her behavior several times to get her to stop because she was hurting me before my fiancèe with her backhanded and insensitive comments. I told my fiancèe she had everyright to cut my sister out and not deal with her b**lshit but she has been forgiving and respectful of my entire family.

Our wedding is in February. My fiancèe went shopping for the wedding dress. This is where the issue started: My fiancèe showed the wedding dress to my sister. I didn’t see it but I was told it was a spaghetti strap dress. My fiancèe likes this stuff. Anyways my sister saw it and went nuts she started criticising her choice and said that she should’ve gotten a high nick or a jewel wedding dress to cover up the scar.

She argued with my fiancèe about it. I went to my family’s house and I confronted her. I yelled at her after she told me my fiancee needed to return the dress and get a “proper” one so that guests won’t focus on her burnscar and use it as the topic of conversation and gossip. I told her that she’s not invited to our wedding.

She isn’t welcome to my wedding with this entitled attitude of hers and her insensitivity and disrespect. We argued for half an hour then I left.
In exactly an hour. My mom and dad called and berated me saying my sister was crying after I uninvited her and that I had no right to univinte her.

She’s my sister and was just trying to help out and give an advice and avoid any “unnecessary” drama at the wedding. My mom said my fiancèe can keep the dress but suggested to wear a pridel shawl as a neutral solution. I stopped responding to my mom’s calls and texts after that.

Family members were upset my sister was uninvited and wanted me to invite her again because this will make family look bad in front of outsiders and guests.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

brokeanail −  NTA. Uninvite anyone who insults your fiancee, imo

Dszquphsbnt −  ~~^(My M27 fiancèe F25 has an obvious permanent burnscar from an accident that caused her mother (her only parent to pass away from injury. My fiancèe had a long recovery it’s been 7 years. The scar is on her collarbone. it goes down her chest but isn’t showing. Unless she’s wearing scoop/square tops. She often wears hoodies/jackets to cover up.

She puts this cream I don’t know what ladies call it but it’s supposed to tone skin color or something? I’m not sure but my fiancèe calls it foundation that is one degree brighter than her skin color. I absolutely adore her she’s pretty, smart, ambitious and the list goes on. What happened was unfortunate and I’m glad she’s at peace with herself and more confident.)~~

~~^(My family love her. How can they not. She’s a member of the family. My mom makes sure she takes part in every family function and things like shopping and decorating other things. However)~~. **My sister made** ~~^(comments about my fiancèe’s scar several times.

I’ve called her out on her behavior several times to get her to stop because she was hurting me before my fiancèe with her backhanded and insensitive comments. I told my fiancèe she had everyright to cut my sister out and not deal with her b**lshit but she has been forgiving and respectful of my entire family.)~~

~~^(Our wedding is in February. My fiancèe went shopping for the wedding dress. This is where the issue started. My fiancèe showed the wedding dress to my sister. I didn’t see it but I was told it was a spaghetti strap dress. My fiancèe likes this stuff. Anyways my sister saw it and went nuts she started criticising her choice and said that she should’ve gotten a high nick or a jewel wedding dress to cover up the scar.

She argued with my fiancèe about it. I went to my family’s house and I confronted her. I yelled at her after she told me my fiancee needed to return the dress and get a “proper” one so that guests won’t focus on her burnscar and use it as the topic if conversation and gossip. I told her that she’s not invited to our wedding. She isn’t welcome to my with this entitled attitude if hers and her insensitivity and disrespect. We argued for half an hour then I left.)~~

~~^(In exactly an hour. My mom and add called and berated me saying my sister was crying after I invited her and that I had no right to univinte her. She’s my sister and was just trying to help out and give an advice and avoid any “)~~**unnecessary**~~^(“)~~ **drama** ~~^(at the wedding.

My mom said my fiancèe can keep the dress but suggested to wear a pridel shawl as a neutral solution. I stopped responding to my mom’s calls and texts after that. Family members were upset my sister was uninvited and wanted me to invite her again)~~.. **NTA**

0biterdicta −  NTA. Your Mom is ridiculous to suggest your fiancée needs to compromise with anyone on her wedding dress.

[Reddit User] −  What a small person your sister is. Your fiancee’s burn scar is a badge of courage. I work in surgery, and I’ve done many many burn reconstructions … that is no easy road to go down, and your fiancee should be praised for going through all that and coming out the other side with her gracious nature intact.
Your sister owes you and your fiancee a HUGE apology. Your mother can offer one as well. This ‘eww’ factor is childish and reprehensible.. NTA, at ALL.

SmallTownAttorney −  NTA! I am a burn survivor my scars are on my chest and upper arm, I can’t begin to explain the mental toll that these so called helpful comments have on a person. I have had people pull my blouse closed over my scars “because they were showing” or suggest what I should and shouldn’t wear because of them.

I have had comments about how at least it didn’t damage my face and I can hide my scars. It took years to be okay with my scars. What your family is doing is abusive and psychologically damaging. Your sister is not being helpful she is being cruel and your parents need a huge wake up call if they think this cruelty is acceptable. You are right to put your foot down and not allow your sister or anyone else to abuse your fiancé under the guise of being helpful.

thatbrunettegirl10 −  NTA- um, why the F**K would they think they can tell the bride to wear anything over her dress?! Especially as a “compromise”?! Ummmmmmm who are they to dictate?! This makes me boil that they feel they can tell her to cover up her scar. Jesus. Disgusting.

dftaylor −  NTA. You and your fiancé are the only people with the right to invite or uninvite someone. And it’s not for your mother to offer a compromise on something that’s nothing to do with her or your sister. The best lesson I ever learned in my life was to put clear boundaries of when my family get a say in something in my life. And that boundary is never. Cause it’s my life, not theirs.. NTA.

brandyto −  NTA. Your sister was being malicious and hateful, not “helpful”. Your mother further compounded the problem by suggesting your fiancé is “allowed” to keep the dress she selected if she covers it up with a shawl? Your fiancé’s bodily autonomy is not a debate or democracy. Your family was not asked for and does not get a vote. Most importantly, nobody should be present at a wedding when they don’t actually accept the person being married for who they are – scar or no scar.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. If your fiancée wants to wear a spaghetti strap wedding dress, then she has every right to. Those who think it’s ok to gossip and make derogatory comments (including your sister) about her scar need a good look at themselves.

Your sister isn’t looking out for your fiancée, she’s looking out for herself because she is embarrassed “on behalf of your fiancée” who doesn’t care about it herself.
Side note: I think you mean *concealer*

gogo_gadgetbutthole −  NTA. If your sister is so upset about the scar that she feels the need to argue with the BRIDE over the wedding dress, then she should absolutely not be welcome. At this rate she’d would definitely make comments about it at the wedding, and doesn’t see how inappropriate that is.

Your mother’s suggestion to “compromise” is rude as f**k too.Thank you for being so supportive of your fiancee. I’m sure it’s one of the many reasons she loves you! Congrats btw!

Was uninviting the sister justified to protect the bride’s feelings and confidence, or could the situation have been handled differently? How would you navigate family tensions in the lead-up to a wedding? Share your thoughts and opinions below!