AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband camps in the bathroom for extended lengths of time?

A Redditor shares their frustration with a husband who uses extended bathroom breaks to avoid parenting duties for their infant twins. Despite claiming a medical condition, his phone use and consistent timing suggest otherwise. To address the issue, the Redditor began turning off the WiFi after 10 minutes, leading to shorter bathroom stays but sparking tension in their relationship. Was this an unfair approach, or a necessary step to ensure shared responsibilities? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband camps in the bathroom for extended lengths of time?’

My husband and I are the parents of twins who are less than a year old. Anytime my husband SHOULD be doing something with the children ( it’s his turn for a diaper, a bottle, even just soothing a fussy newborn) he ALWAYS goes to the bathroom first. We are both on maternity / paternity leave currently.

My husband is on medication that makes him spend a lot of time in the bathroom about an hour after a meal. It’s a medication he has been on and off several times over the past year. He is never on it for more than a few weeks, and it does not effect him all the time, but he always claims that is why he is in the bathroom. ( I did ask, the doctor didnt say it was impossible, but highly unlikely. Doc wanted him to come in for a checkup if this was the case and husband said oh it’s not THAT bad and refuses to go in )

I would rather let him use the restroom first than have to put down a baby mid task, but over the past couple months he has been spending more and more time in there. He always takes his phone. He is always watching youtube. His average session is 25 minutes in there, often longer, rarely shorter.

It’s the most frustrating when it comes time to feed them ( one of the twins needs to be held specifically for health reasons, so I can not double feed ) because we will get up, I will warm up bottles, change one baby b**, get the first one fed, burped, and laid down in their crib, get the other baby changed and be setteling down to feed baby number two before he can be bothered to emerge and figure out why one child has been screaming because they had to watch their sibling eat l, and then the other when cry when they dont get to cuddle at all because I have to immediately set them down to feed the hysterically sobbing child.

Yesterday was a week and a half sence I started truly keeping track, and he, only twice in 10 days, not ditched me to go camp out in the bathroom and let me finish %80 of the childcare. Today I started a new rule. If he is in the bathroom for more than 10 minutes, I flip the wifi off. He has not spend more than 15 minutes in the bathroom at a stretch today, but is extremely upset.

I feel like the fact that without the wifi his uncontrollable toilet issue cleared up rather quickly proves why it needs to be done, but he feels I am being unreasonable, and I need to make sure sleep deprivation isnt makeing me an a**hole. TLDR: AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband is in the bathroom for extended periods of time, avoiding domestic and fatherly duties.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

disregardable −  NTA. What kind of a man fucks around on the internet while his baby screams and cries? He deserves it.

digaf123 −  NTA. He got busted hiding in the bathroom to avoid parenting. If turning off the wifi works, do it.

[Reddit User] −  NTA; I’m getting angry just reading about his s**tty behavior.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. However, you should have a talk with your husband about his habit. Given that you turning off the wifi somehow helped him improve his condition, you could logically assume that he’s perfectly fine in this regard. Talk to him about him helping out with parenting.

LeopoldParrot −  Where are you ladies finding these useless men to marry and procreate with? If I had a nickel for every AITA post about men being worthless partners I wouldn’t have to work.. ​

handsfull13 −  NTA as a mother of twins it is hard work and he isn’t pulling his weight and you’ve just proved it. Mine are now toddlers and I fully admit I go for longer wees as it’s my quiet place but I don’t when something needs doing.

I’ve also fed a baby while on the toilet because I literally couldn’t hold any longer. Call his bluff and tell him if he’s going to be there a while he might as well take the baby to feed and cuddle as well. I would have a talk about how you feel when he leaves you to do it all. Either with him or with someone else, you need to let those emotions out or they will cause resentment and damage your relationship.

KomugiSGV −  NTA what the hell is wrong with him.

socalaita −  NTA, if he’s really in there for bathroom reasons the wifi wouldn’t matter. As a parent of twins, tell him to man up and get his ass helping out, you and those kids need him, and you’re going to go insane if you handle this alone.. Good luck, it does get easier!

TinyLlamasWithBooze −  NTA. If this were a real medical issue, he’d make the doctor’s appointment as was his care provider’s recommendation, and losing wifi would not impact duration. While this is a clever trick that’s working for now, it probably won’t last if you two don’t manage to confront the underlying issue. He’s going to figure out how to pre-load content, download videos, or play offline games.

[Reddit User] −  NTA your husband is avoiding his responsibilities as a parent and g**lighting you on top of it: He feels I am being unreasonable, and **I need to make sure sleep deprivation isnt makeing me an a**hole.**. He’s such an AH!
Remind him that you were both involved in making these kids and keep on turning off the Wi-Fi if he won’t take part in parenting.