AITA For tricking my parents into being on time for my wedding?

A Reddit user shares a story about a wedding day prank aimed at getting their chronically late parents to arrive on time. Having endured years of lateness from their mother, the user decided to take matters into their own hands by printing the wedding invitation with a time one hour earlier than the actual ceremony. While the wedding went smoothly, the truth was revealed later, causing tension during a family dinner. Was this trick too far, or justified given the circumstances? Read the full story below to find out more.

‘ AITA For tricking my parents into being on time for my wedding?’

My (M33) parents are late for everything. Like everything. Both of my sister’s and myself have been disappointed so many times. Graduation ceremonies, birthday parties, even my father’s retirement dinner. It is completely my mother’s fault. She is a wonderful mother and I love her dearly, she just does not understand the concept of punctuality.

I have seen her talking to her sister on the phone and reminded her she needed to be at my baby sister’s dance recital. She waved me off and arrived after my sister had danced. We are all used to it. My dad is just done trying to get her to be on time for anything.

My now wife (F28) told me in no uncertain terms that if my mother was late for our wedding she would do terrible things to me. She was only half joking. But she was a witness to my mom and dad arriving halfway through my cousin’s quinceañera. So here is what I did. It is completely on me. Me wife was not involved. If there is a d**k move it was completely mine.

When we were getting samples for the wedding I talked to the printer and had one special invitation printed with the time on it stated s being one hour earlier than the actual start time of the ceremony. My mother was beside herself apparently when they left the house and thought they were going to miss the wedding since she was a part of it with her and my MIL lighting the candles we would use to light the unity candle and stuff.

When she arrived and noticed other people were also just arriving and parking she was so relieved that we were starting late that she just went with it. The ceremony went off beautifully. And so did the wedding pictures and the reception. The problem came last Sunday. My parents came over for a big family dinner and we didn’t bother starting the grill until they showed up. She asked why everyone wasn’t eating and we just said we knew we would be waiting for them since they are always late.

She said that she was not always late and had been on time for my wedding. She hadn’t been. They arrived 45 minutes AFTER the time on their invitation. My i**ot cousin John, real name because it’s common and he deserves people to know he is a dolt, snorted at her statement. A few other people giggled or smiled at this and she picked up and asked what was so funny. I came clean and told her about the “special” invitation.

She is pissed at me for not trusting her and making her look foolish in front of everyone. If my cousin had just controlled himself she never would have known.. AITA,?.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Forward_Squirrel8879 −  NTA – How can she complain? If you had sent her an invite with the real time then she would have been 45 minutes late. She should appreciate the fact that you wanted her to be there enough that you took the time to make her a special invite to ensure she arrived on time.

vcatacarte −  NTA. She is embarrassed because she has a problem showing up on time and you proved it.

The__Riker__Maneuver −  Just keep repeating that she was 45 minutes late. Flat out tell her that had you not lied to her, she would have missed your wedding and that not only will you never apologize for doing what you did, YOU want an apology from her for being 45 minutes late in the first place. NTA.

CheeseAndPasta97 −  NTA. OP’s Mother: **WhY DiDn’T YoU TrUsT mE tO bE oN tImE! OP’s Mother: -proceeds to arrive late-. Logic? Gone.. Hotel? Trivago.

Sk111W −  NTA But realistically prepare for them to be even later from now on because she doesn’t know if you’re providing the real time.

squirlysquirel −  NTA. nicely played imo. Your mum should be ashamed of herself for being so self involved thatcshe does not value anyone else. If she tries to get huffy keep putting it back on her…this is a consequence of her behaviour and she should be tha king you for knowing her so well that you went the extra mile so,she could be there on time.

NCKALA −  NTA but I don’t understand why everyone is catering to someone who is consistently VERY late for everything. You have a time to light the grill, then light the damned grill, why should everyone sit around hungry because ONE person is inconsiderate. She shows up after everyone has eaten, show mom where the leftover food is stored. She is late for a dinner, dance, movie, whatever…proceed without her. She has trained all of you that she is the most important person ever.

Now I do understand about the wedding, even tho I am gritting my teeth about that, lol. But WHY does everyone think her time is more important than their own? I was months-married, (he was not late in 2 years of dating) and he made us late for my nephew’s wedding vows. That was IT. Never again. He wasn’t ready? I left on time, told everyone “He’s late so I told him to not show up”.

Not ready for Christmas at my parents’ house? Tough noogies, I enjoyed Christmas Day and didn’t bring home his Christmas gifts. “If you are going to be late, don’t bother showing up” and I meant it. My husband caught on fast and after only a few incidents of being left out (and banned from showing up late), he’s been on time or even early the past 37 years, lol.

EDIT: I mean he made us late within the 10 months of marriage (weddings, doctor appts, getting to work, holidays, dinners with others, vacation departure times). AFTER THE FIRST 10 MONTHS, is when I told him NO MORE of making me late. I did not mean I was that harsh over the course of 37 years.

lefkoz −  NTA. This is exactly how my family manages my aunt. Lie and give her a time 30-60 minutes earlier. She’s still frequently late. All your mom did was prove that it was necessary. If she’s insulted by that, she should adjust her behavior instead of lashing out. YWBTA, if she had shown up “on time” and waited around for an hour. But that’s not what happened. She would’ve been an hour late for your wedding if not for you, remind her of that.

SamSpayedPI −  You’re not an a**hole for the fake invitation. It did the trick, right? If they weren’t 45 minutes late according to the time stated on the invite, I might be inclined to agree it was an a**hole move, but they were, so it’s justified.
The question is (INFO) how did John and the rest of the people *know* that your parents had a fake time on their invite? If you told everyone but your parents, I can understand your parents being ticked off about being the b**t of a big joke.

Kreeblim −  Nta. You should show her this thread honestly. I use to be notoriously late for everything…when i was 21. My boyfriend now husband stopped one day and literally had to say. I need you to respect me and acknowledge my time is also valuable as is the time of the people we are seeing. Im never late now. I recognize that everyone’s time is valuable… I can’t imagine your sister waiting backstage to go dance and not see her family in the audience.